please help i need help NOW please

[Uniquepeep]

well me and my girl have been going out for about 10 months now.. and going out there for the first 7 months it was fine.. and i guess the whole LTR kicked in.. and now we are slowly drifting.. thing is, we dont even talk or see each other that much. maybe 30 minutes a day we see each other and like 1 hour on the phone.. we see each other only 5 days a week. and now i feel like shes puttin me behind her other things.. she plays a sport and it feels like she loves it more than she loves me. we talked about it and now she wants to break up and i dont know what to do. she sed shes tired of the "routine" but doesnt want to break it ( they dont know what they want: girls ) she cant go out that much and shes always in this bad mood now. whenever i see her i cant seem to get happy... i love her alot guys and i really want to work it out.. i just dont know how... im not a "wussy" either.. i stand up for what i want and i dont buy her love... but she just doesnt seem to respond to what i do.shes always telling me she doesnt know what she wants and we fight all tha time now at night.. she always says she doesnt really care if we break up but then later on she seys she doesnt mean it..... all the little things she used to do is also gone now.. no letters, special phone calls.. nothing...no msgs on myspace/aim (haha) but the little things are gone and i dont know what to do. and now she seys she feels less interested in me...

 

[mattathensga]

I find it SOOOO funny when someone answers their own question in a post..... you said it dude...."she sed shes tired of the "routine" but doesnt want to break it ( they dont know what they want: girls )"
1. Find a friggin way to break the routine.... my first suggestion is to MAKE more time in YOUR life for her... that should at the least show her that she means something to you.

2. You've hit a flat line... it happens in relationships... remember back to when you two first met. Now compare then to now, and WHAT are both of you doing differently?

3. Measure your true necessity of her in your life. IF you think about it, and value her, then YOU need to change some things to show her how much she means.... I.E. see #1 Just don't forget that she's NOT the only woman in the world... could be that ending it with her leads you to something better!

4... if the worst should happen, be NICE. if it ends, be nice... it may lead to a future relationship with her.

5. don't be such a wussy! LOL... just joking dude, you said it, I had to comment on it.... don't feel that you have to explain your emotions to anyone, lest it be your Girl. she's the only one that your emotions should matter to, and the same goes for her feelings, maybe you should try to improve things, then talk to her about those just mentioned feelings.

Good luck bro.... if it doens't work out, don't sulk... mourn it, then move on... but from what you've said, hope it works out for ya.

 

[Uniquepeep]

how am i supposed to break the routine.. she has school then sports then she has to go home and study.. and when i ask her to spend some time she always comes up with excuses to avoid it

 

[mattathensga]

one last thing.... I just reread your post.... IF she means so much to you, whats the fighting about? you should just stop the fighting by saying that she means to much to you to fight with her. don't just fold, make your point, let her retort, then use that as a fight ender.

 

[Uniquepeep]

ok heres the thing.. i tried that. but when the fight is over.. she goes back and does the same thing ( act all uninteresed and bored etc. etc. )

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by mattathensga

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
ok heres the thing.. i tried that. but when the fight is over.. she goes back and does the same thing ( act all uninteresed and bored etc. etc. )

Maybe it's time to consider alternate options....like moving on and finding someone more interested in YOU?

 

[Desdinova]

You've been given all the classic signs of a dead relationship. The ending of it is now being dragged through the mud. She is no longer romanticly nor sexually interested in you. There's nothing you can do to repair a demolished relationship.

End it now, and begin recovery.

 

[Uniquepeep]

yea.. i guess you guys are right.. but is there NO WAY to save it?... i understand that its pretty much done.. but please ANY WAY to save the relationship?...i really feel different about her.

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
yea.. i guess you guys are right.. but is there NO WAY to save it?... i understand that its pretty much done.. but please ANY WAY to save the relationship?...i really feel different about her.

Try recreating a spark? IF it doesn't work....you know....

 

[Uniquepeep]

how do i recreate a spark?..

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
how do i recreate a spark?..

If you cannot figure out how, then it's a lost hope.

There is no way we can tell you what can personally spark her interest, besides example, and example here is a long-shot hope with salt. Usually past things that once happened can do it though...


If you cannot figure out how, then it's a lost hope.

 

[Uniquepeep]

dammit. i feel like such a *****!!! .. im super sad and **** now.. but im in my room alone so she doesnt know..

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
dammit. i feel like such a *****!!! .. im super sad and **** now.. but im in my room alone so she doesnt know..

Natural feelings. Read the above...or decide...or something. V-Day is coming up..but if you're going to do anything on that day...please...be ORIGINAL, and NOT obsessively nuts with it, or she'll be runnin.

 

[Uniquepeep]

what do you SUGGEST on valentines?

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
what do you SUGGEST on valentines?

Get ahold of her on the day and being dominant, suggest coffee...(or your first date spot..). Now you have a date....no flowers, no stupid chocolates or cards, just a reminder to her of her feelings for you.

But I've been single a while, so I couldn't say for sure....

 

[Uniquepeep]

ok got it.. thanks..

 

[Docs]

I hope I helped somewhat.

 

[Uniquepeep]

i hope so

 

[mattathensga]

Originally posted by Uniquepeep
dammit. i feel like such a *****!!! .. im super sad and **** now.. but im in my room alone so she doesnt know..

K... so SHE means soo much to you, and you're alone in your room, on this site??? btw, do you understand what "sausage fest" means? ROFL..... just kidding...


So, if you really want a suggestion, try doing something for her that she is wanting... maybe pay to get her hair done, something for her to RELAX with.... it seems that she has a high stress life, I remember when I was back in College, My fiance at the time (yes, were broken up) wouldn't leave me the heII alone for five minutes... I was in Electrical Engineering heavy work load, bunch of other BS. I just wanted five minutes without her bugging the crap out of me.... SO, using that vicariously to your girl, do something that will help her relax, withOUT you there. Just b/c it's valentines, doesn;t mean you have to be together all day.... send her to a day spa, whatever, just do something for HER, and then have a meal ready for her when she gets home... that way, you can give her some time alone to relax, then have a nice evening together without the stress.
That, in my mind is the Key to your only chance at salvation... you have to help her loose the stress.

 

[tmpgstx]

Are you sure she hasn't meant anyone else? Because if this is a textbook breakup without guilt (on her behalf) then soon she'll tell you it's over and doesn't want a boyfriend. After this, you'll find out there was someone else that she was starting to see or waiting on.