"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Please help, feelings for a girl i once hooked up with, want to get her back

TomTim

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Ok, first off, I reeaally need some advice here, dunno what to do, its a long story, but please, bare with me, if you are good at these kinda stuff, your advice could be worth gold to me=)


the problem:

I Used to hang out with a girl allot, met her through a mutual friend, started hanging out, we kinda flirted, and I started having feelings for her, seemed like she had it for me too, we talked alot on msn/facebook and stuff like that.

Things went kinda slow, it always felt like she was more" on" when she was drunk, texting me etc, but when she was sober, and I hinted that i wanted to do things, she was hesitant, and avoiding etc. Altough, we still had contact, altough not as much, and it like she was trying to let me down easy, or play hard to get...

Anyway, she moved to another city last fall, and by then, I thought it was over, but I could, on occasion(when she was drunk) get a textmessage, with like" you should move here" but if i replied, i rarely got an answer.

She come to visit her hometown a few times, during the fall, I never saw here, sometimes, she would write, saying shes back in town, ( over msn or so) and we would be like," we should put something togehter" or, I would say, cool, call me if u wanna do something tonight" but we never did, she hung out with her friends instead.

So,( trying to make this shorter) at christmas, she came back( got a few days off from her school), we talked, and went to a party with mutual friends, that night, we hooked up( awesome:) )
And before we hooked up, she was taling about how much she had been thinkin about me, while being away, and how much she had missed me etc.

I never got to see her again before she had to leave to go back to school, she was only in town for a few days, I tried to get her to a party at newyears( she was still in town then) but she complained about how far away it was etc, so I didnt pursue it further...

I once before tried to get her to do something(between xmas and newyears), but she had plans with her sister that night.

So,a fter that, I stopped calling, texting, writing to her, I felt like it was her turn to make contact.

Wich she eventually did, but I missed it, had the computer on, she wrote on msn, and i didnt pay attention to it, untill a few days later, so i wrote back, oh sorry, missed bla bla.

After that, i wrote a few times o facebook etc, we just talked etc, nothin special, then i stopped initiating contact, waiting for her, but she hasnt contacted me, at all. )This was in early spring..)

Ive texted her once or twice this summer, she is, like last summer, very "avoiding" in her textmessages, but she replies instantly etc.

Im crazy about this girl, and I cant get her out of my head, I cant, what should I do?

Did she lose all the feelings she had for me? Or did she think that i was just in it for a one night stand? and that i was just writing to be polite?

I talked to a friend of mine, and he thinks I didnt pursued her hard enough, after we hooked up that night. But, I dont know...

All I know is, i cant stop thinking about her, most awesome girl ever...

Help me, please, would really appreciate it, ive been reading this forum for a long time, felt like it was time to become a member...

/TT
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Johnnyventana

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She's running the classic push/pull on you, whether intentional or not, it is working it's magic. It is what they sometimes teach men to do here, but I'm thinking that she is so good at it, because it is not on purpose.
 

pdx1138

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move on.

Long distance isn't helping you and never will.

get some local p'tang.

You just need to get over this oneitus.
 

TomTim

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Johnnyventana said:
She's running the classic push/pull on you, whether intentional or not, it is working it's magic. It is what they sometimes teach men to do here, but I'm thinking that she is so good at it, because it is not on purpose.

So, what do you think i should do? I was sending some texts, a weekend ago, saying it would be nice to meet her etc. She said shes been working alot all summer etc. I texted her once more, buut..

Just turned 21 few days ago, woke up at like 3 in the morning, by a text, from her, saying" Happy birthday (my name) :) !"

I texted back, asking if the remembered that it was my birthday, or if facebook told her, she quickly replied." I remember, ofcourse !"and a wink smiley.

What ya reckon?
 

TomTim

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pdx1138 said:
move on.

Long distance isn't helping you and never will.

get some local p'tang.

You just need to get over this oneitus.
I have a few options, not bad looking girls either, but i got nothin incommon with them, not like i got with that other girl, who btw, dropped out of her school and is now studying in" my" town...

I can be very succesful with a girl, as long as i dont care about her, if i ever like a girl alot, i usually fk it up by being to nice( or a *****, if ud like...)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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pdx1138

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some day you will figure out long distance relationships don't work.
 

TopGun2000

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TomTim said:
I have a few options, not bad looking girls either, but i got nothin incommon with them, not like i got with that other girl, who btw, dropped out of her school and is now studying in" my" town...

I can be very succesful with a girl, as long as i dont care about her, if i ever like a girl alot, i usually fk it up by being to nice( or a *****, if ud like...)
you like her doesn't necessarily means she likes you in the same way. obviously you are one of her playful options. :rock:

don't take what others say too seriously. pay attention to their actions :trouble:
 
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