please help - ex's in the way

[DJArlington]

hey guys, i've been dating this girl for nine months and she keeps in touch with ex-boyfriends or guys she has dated on an occassional basis. There are actually 5 guys in particular that she keeps in touch with, they are all coincidentally the guys she has slept with (4 out of the 5). she used to talk to them on the phone and stuff but now the contact is more or less limited to e-mails, sometimes a phone call but rarely, or things like a mass e-mail that she sends out. should i be concerned about this? she got an e-mail back from one of the guys that was a bit sexual in nature. i really don't like this -she says it's nothing and that i worry for no reason but my problem is that i don't know what these guys intentions are. for some reason, she won't block any of these guys out. she says to me that if i want her to she'll cut off contact completely but i really shouldn't have to ask a girlfriend to do that, it should naturally be done. the one guy who sent back those comments that were inappropriate was a guy she claims (I believe her) that she only went on a few dates with. i believe her but if he was just a casual thing why would he be copied on an important mass e-mail to her friends. i know that she didn't sleep with this guy but i don't understand why she has to keep even occassional contact with this guy if there was nothing there. i think she had stronger feelings for him and just won't come out with it.

guys please help. how do i tackle this situation?

 

[the_great_gaia]

it doesn't sound like the exes are in the way at all, she's welcoming them in. I don't know why girls keep in contact with their ex-boyfriends for. I always get that phone from my girl a few weeks after we break up for good, which we never STAY broken up after the phone call.

You are having these problems because of her...

 

[DJArlington]

dealing with ex's

i need some help with this.. have any of you guys experienced this before? my ex-girlfriend kept in guys from way back in the day by e-mail... and it was twice a year. my curent girlfriend will e-mail them back, or include them on mass mails, or even talk to them on the phone which in my opinion is quite unnerving, mainly because things with these guys ended back in january when we started dating. she think i'm being jealous and blowing it up out of proportion. i have asked all of my best friend's about this (a long time back) and none of them have ever had to deal with this.

looking forward to your feedback guys... thanks...

 

[DonJuanMonk]

1. Do you know what you want in a girlfriend?

2. Girls who keep contact with exes, talks about their exes on a weekly/monthly basis = NO GOOD.

3. You being jealous or even putting up with this = NO GOOD.

Deal with it, or look for another girl.

 

[RaWBLooD]

as long as you are getting the *****
WHAT THE **** IS THE PROBLEM.:woo: :woo: :woo:

 

[Desdinova]

she says to me that if i want her to she'll cut off contact completely but i really shouldn't have to ask a girlfriend to do that, it should naturally be done.

I've got news for you... Women don't like cutting off contact because they "don't want to hurt his feelings". This is the reason they pull that "let's still be friends" bull5hit. This is why women can't "naturally" cut off these guys.

You'll have to do something about it. The ex's have to go. Let her keep any guy friends that she hasn't dated.

An ex is an ex. Period. I doubt she would tolerate you being chummy with your ex-girlfriends on a regular basis.

If she respects you enough, she'll cut off the contact at your request. I had to go through the same 5hit. It's not a jealousy issue, it's a respect issue.

 

[Adrian]

There are actually 5 guys in particular that she keeps in touch with, they are all coincidentally the guys she has slept with (4 out of the 5)

Don't ever believe a woman when she tells you how many guys she's slept with. Many of the times they give you a number that is way underexaggerated. Some even claim to be virgins and have already slept around with tons of men. I'm sure you're aware of that by now. You being with her for 9 months means nothing. Just a waste of your valuable time.

she used to talk to them on the phone and stuff but now the contact is more or less limited to e-mails, sometimes a phone call but rarely, or things like a mass e-mail that she sends out. should i be concerned about this?

Yes you should! I bet if you find out what the **** is going on you are not going to be very proud of hearing the truth.

she got an e-mail back from one of the guys that was a bit sexual in nature. i really don't like this -she says it's nothing and that i worry for no reason but my problem is that i don't know what these guys intentions are.

Bullsh!t! Every woman that has cheated me in the past gave me the same line. Tell her to FVCK OFF!


she won't block any of these guys out. she says to me that if i want her to she'll cut off contact completely but i really shouldn't have to ask a girlfriend to do that, it should naturally be done.

It's disrespect on her part. And I'm sure you'll be pissed to find out why she keeps contact with them.

the one guy who sent back those comments that were inappropriate was a guy she claims (I believe her) that she only went on a few dates with. i believe her but if he was just a casual thing why would he be copied on an important mass e-mail to her friend

50/50% chance that she might be telling the truth. You take that risk in believeing her. I would assume the worst but thats just me.

i think she had stronger feelings for him and just won't come out with it.


You fell in love with a hor. You need help. My advice is look for a better woman. And keep the current one just as a fvck. Just play along as if you see the two of you in a LTR.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

funny, i'm breaking up with my girl in a week or so when she goes to college. I'm sure she will find a guy. but we were like best friends before, and are going to be still. if any guy tells her to cut off contact with me, he'll either be told no, or dumped on the spot.

Not every girl will cut off contact with exes. that is a fact.

 

[mtllcanpssy]

Wow man I was in a similar situation to you a couple of months ago. Met a girl, she really liked me and we both fell for each other. Well anyways she would say something about her x's atleast once just about everytime we would meet up, which was about once a week. Well eventually I told her we needed to have a talk, and said that she needed to stop it because it was pissing me off. And she also has all of her x's numbers in her cell phone. Well about two months ago we broke up, she broke up with me and I was easy to say, pretty devastated at first.
So my advice is first to check that you are at the right level of emotional connection with this girl. And two while it is possible she might be telling the truth, I atleast find it hard to believe what she is saying. There really are only two reasons (i think) for why girls would be on decent/talking terms with their x (and communicating back with them) they dont want people to think they are a b**ch for not talking to them,etc. or they want to be involved with the x and possibly want to get back with them.
And so fellow Don Juan, I gave my girl a chance and look at what happened, eventually we broke up. So my advice would be just to back off from her or break up with her possibly, and if shes being honest or watever and cares about you, she'll come back to you. Otherwise you save yourself some pain, and time but finding out her true entititions.
Good luck amigo