"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Please give me hope

Alpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
1,576
Reaction score
3
Location
south west, uk
Hi,

Well I'm absolutely bowled over by the amount of response.

I think you have sussed me out that my confidence has been knocked and I've let other people rate me and this has effected my behaviour.

I've really got to bulk up then. I've tried so hard over the years, but it's just got to happen! I'm going to take charge of things and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Thanks very, very much.

Mike
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

silverwex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 27, 2003
Messages
1,306
Reaction score
5
Age
44
Location
Eire
Man, you're certainly not butt ugly!

Heres what i think u should do:

1) Get rid of the specs and get contacts

2) Grow your hair a bit longer on top and spike it up

3) Put on about 20/30lbs weight - concentrating on the arms maybe?

Youll be surprised at the results! Give it about a year tho.

Regards.
 

cactus3178

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
481
Reaction score
3
Age
48
Location
P-Town 503
Whoa.

People have come up to you and told you that you were ugly?

IMO, your not the prettiest bastard I've ever seen, but your not ugly. I've seen guys FAR worse off than you with some HB 5-8's.

If your 40-ish, you should have a much easier time putting on some bulk simply because your metabolism has slowed down somewhat. There's alot of good advice in here about what you should do, but remember that it's easy to get fired up about making a change, but it's even easier to fall back into the norm.

Once you make a decision to start making physical (and mental) changes, you've got to stick with it at all costs. You can get what you want, but you'll have to work for it.

If you make an initial investment of say, $150-200 (You'll have to make the conversion), buy yourself some new clothes, either grow your hair or try a new hairstyle (something you've never had before), and check out some new places, you'll begin to feel MUCH better.

I know when I've got new threads on and a fresh haircut, I feel great.

And smile, damnit ;)
 

mystik

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2002
Messages
117
Reaction score
0
i recommand taking some form of martial arts. this doesnt mean that you should walk around looking for fights, but martial arts gives you 2 things, 1 muscles, 2 confidence.

i always feel more confident when macking a girl knowing that i can kick every other guy around her's ass, no matter how big they are.
 

Alpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
1,576
Reaction score
3
Location
south west, uk
Hi Mystik,

Funnily enough I started doing Wing Chun and MMA 6 months ago and I LOST weight! Although light I am extremely fast and have had several scraps over the years with the other guy disabled.

I really enjoy MA and I may have to cut back a bit as I'm going all out to bulk up over the next few months.

Probably the best thing I've learned is Chi Sau sensitivity training and helps me relax which I really need to do.

With regard to attitude maybe ignorance was bliss. The more i train the more I realise any azzhole will cut you if they have a hidden blade.

Walk away every time unless it's kill or get killed scenerio. I am more nervous at clubs late at night now, than I ever was before.

:eek:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Don Juanabbe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2004
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
8
Location
Canuckistan
Originally posted by fanatizmu
hi alpine, i am 40+ too and i am not a star neither, however i can bang 7 and 8s easily with the occasional 9 plus. I suggest you read some things about Neuro linguistic programming, it's all about finding stuff that works for other people like you and then applying them to your situation.

in the clinic where i work we have noticed that depressed people go around all day walking with their head tossed towards the floor, we then instructed them to look up into people's eyes and instructed nurses to smile to them and say good morning and encourage a response from them... just this simple advice improved the life of these people tenfold, try starting with this and i assure you, that at least you won't remain slightly depressed about your situation.
Yeah:rolleyes:, thanks for contributing your latest dose of sh*t-on-a-plate, arsehole.

Sincerely,

Nobody
 

Crank_It_Up

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
546
Reaction score
1
nope you aren't ugly, but if you perceive yourself as such, then you are worse off.

Girls like guys to be macho.... so if you aren't in stature, then you must make certain you are in attitude and personality. Some women are also afraid if they weigh more than the guy then he won't see them as feminine. So you might have to make your attraction very clear if it happens to be a heavier girl than you.

Don't give up on trying to bulk up... fat guys have to diet, skinny guys have to attempt to bulk up. Although you won't achieve great results, any muscle growth in your body will appear to be more than the average guy, since you are naturally fat free. (no fat hiding the muscles)

Don't wear baggy clothes, they will make you look even smaller.... you have a fat free bod and that is an asset no matter what the size. Take advantage of it.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Half of it is body-language. Your lack of expression, your eyes, your stance, your choice of wardrobe...they all SCREAM, "I am just another boring fool in the slipstream of life."

You're not hideous. Try smiling, for starters. (unless you have bad teeth...if so get 'em fixed) Carry your shoulders higher, really consider the contacts/laser. Change up your "look" to something with more flair. I'm not saying get a mohawk and a trenchcoat mafia outfit...just something to stand out more. Work out if you're out of shape.

The world is part what you sense and part how you perceive it. Change the way you perceive the world and yourself. This may seem hard, but you MAKE it hard because you refuse to accept how easy it is.

Not promising any miracles, but whatever kinds of chicks you end up with, at least you'll be proud of YOURSELF. :)
 

Don Juanabbe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2004
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
8
Location
Canuckistan
I think he could pass off that Brit-rock look with a little more spiky of a hairstyle, definitely. Not beyond hope by any stretch. Get a few Guinness' in you.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

FreeStyleZ

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 26, 2003
Messages
358
Reaction score
3
i used to be the lankiest kid ever.. thought i could never gain weight. Take creatine, get on a work out plan.. and use protein shakes. You will bulk guarenteed. I did.
 

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
I would get a color analysis done. getting wrapped up in the correct color shades can make a HUGE difference in your confidence. You are fine but have room to improve. if you have a working penis, there are chicks out there for you.:)
 

Sart

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2004
Messages
420
Reaction score
0
Age
58
Location
Sydney
hi

From your photos and the fact that you actually bothered having them done you know you will never be a great looker. I thought you just looked ineffectual as opposed to ugly.

Martial Arts are okay but will not bulk you up, there is no weight training in MA. Get into the gym and really attack the bar, dont do machine crap, just free weights. Dont do a 3 second rep and work on definition and two sets. Do minimum three sets, only 8 reps with negative phasing to failure. I mean "tear" the muscle. You skinny guys always get it ass up in the gym. I see them with 20kg barbells doing 3 second curls. Put 40kg on the bar and do it to failure. Up quick, negative phase it down. Four months doing this for your biceps, triceps, traps, pecs and lats and you will look really good. If you skinny guys get it right, you can look brilliant.

You are an ectomorph and you have to force your body to be mesomorphic. This wont happen following the gym instructors little workout, his job is to keep you from hurting yourself.

I am mseomorph 60% and ectomorph 40% so I am very lucky. BUT you difinitely CAN change your body type.

Also, YOU CAN NOT afford to focus on aerobic exercise AT ALL. You need to convert energy to muscle, not endurance. DROP the martial arts. Now, some half wit will come in here and argue I am wrong and crap on that HE is a fountain of knowledge on the subject. ON THIS ONE, TRUST ME! I actually trained an ectomorph to Mr. NSW in 1992, some may know him? Admittedly we ended up using steroids but he still had phenomenal growth prior to that. He shouldn't have bothered going into comps but well, he did.

PLEASE TRUST ME on this one okay?
 

Aresx

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2004
Messages
190
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
Miami, FL
Don't use steroids. Get a personal trainer in your area. Not one that will only keep you from hurting yourself, but help you acheive your goals, as well. Too many only focus on the "don't get sued" aspect, but the good ones focus on "help him get where he wants to be".
 
Top