Please explain

[GuitarDude]

Ok I really need a good explanation of "C+F", For soem reason it just confuses me. I understand you are being ****y....with funny. I have also read alot of examples, but for some reason I really don't get it. Can anyone explain?

 

[stubbornlights]

It's a potent combination. It messes with their emotions, which is good. Emotional rollercoaster and confusion in a girls mind means that she'll be spending time figuring you out.

Imagine if you're just ****y/arrogant. The girl will think, "This dude is just an ass. He can't get enough of himself. He's so rude to me." Sheer conceited brashness will get a girl thinking, "Why is this guy hating on me?" But this emotion is fairly one-sided and leads to easy reconciliation in her mind. She'll paint you to be some jerk.

BUT, if you add Funny too, with smiles and all that, it does something interesting. You have seemingly opposite traits embued in one action. If you neg on her (****y), but make sure to do it with a sense of humour and smile too, it drives her mad.

"This guy is being a bit of a **** to me... but what's with the laughter, the humour, and the smiles? Which one is it? Is he into me, or is he just using me as some big joke? Who is this guy?"

You create conflicting emotions within her, frustration and connection, which are hard to think around. You become mysterious and different from most one sided guys.

Does this make sense to you at all? I'm sorry if I'm just making this more confusing for you. But it's supposed to be simple to do.

 

[GuitarDude]

Pretty much you're kinda saying something she wouldn't really like, but making it funny? I guess I get it. Got any good examples?

I'm pretty sure I get it though

 

[stubbornlights]

This one time, I met this girl with a strange sense of fashion. She had these wacky pointy shoes that were striped, and instead of affirming her style and therefore her personality, I bugged her about it.

"What's with the shoes? They make you look like that witch from the Wizard of Oz."

(At this point she's thinking, "this guy isn't complimenting me... what the hell is he talking about? doesn't he like/appreciate my style? where's this going?)

She muttered something like, "What's wrong with my shoes! They make me look like a witch?" Most girls peak in interest and curiosity when you start to deviate from the trend right about now. They start to wonder. They'll often set themselves up further. They let you try to 'correct' what you just said, as if you slipped for a moment. But keep giving it to them, while smiling.

"Yeah, wizard of Oz, that's it. I can see that sortof style in you... Oh man... I bet you wear that poofy grandma witch underwear too... that's hot."

(Basically, she gets flustered and doesn't know what's going on. She's getting teased, but most guys compliment her and appreciate her style..!? This is great for kino and all that stuff. It's disarming)

Now, that's definitely not the smoothest example, but it's the most recent experience of mine. Hope it helps explain the C&F idea.

EDIT

As the convo went on, I kept ragging on her style in a friendly way. It undermined her style, and implied that she was a bit goofy and that other people might get a laugh from it too. But I reinforced it too, with something like "But you know, I like it. It's different." So in that instance, it was devaluing her a little bit, so that later on I could wait for her to try to qualify herself. Then, by affirming her a little bit, I show that she has some value in my eyes, where other people might giggle. Push, pull.

But there are better examples of C&F out there. I'm still quite a rAFC. Check the C&F section in DJB.

 

[GuitarDude]

Thanks bro, haha all these c+f things I could have said today are randomly popping into my head. I really understand now.