"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Please critique my Business Card approach

mamefan77

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hi --- hoping u guys wouldn't mind giving me a little constructive criticism.

I've been trying out a new approach when it comes to meeting strange women. Lets say grocery store, gas station, etc.... I see something worth talking to. I try to strike up a conversation about anything......... then if she's at all receptive to talking to me I introduce myself.

Now here's the kicker... When the conversation is about ready to be over, I just hand her one of my business cards which has my email address on it.

I say "......Well HB9, ... it's been great chatting with u. Here's my email address. If u want to hook up sometime, don't hesitate to send me a note. Otherwise, trash it ;) ......."

I don't see this as AFC at all. I'm very aggresive to start these conversations. If she's got a BF, finds me repulsive or just has plain sworn off men, all she has to do is simply throw the card away. And just maybe someday one of em will actually send me an email

I dunno..... I think this is so much better than just asking a chick for her #

Opinions please!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Dust 2 Dust

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Your approach is AFC. It shows you have no confidence. Your leaving the ball in her court without creating any challenge,report, or value. It shows you don't have the balls to risk rejection by asking for the number so you give her your email expecting her to make the first move. Pretty lame.
 

Giovanni Casanova

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A couple of things.

  • Make sure that your job is semi-impressive. "Investment Banker", "Vice President of Sales", "Marketing Consultant" would be great, whereas "High School Lunchroom Technician", "Janitor", or "Street-Sweeper" might be less so. Make sure that your business card is sending out the right message about you.
  • You'd do well to combine what you're doing now with getting the girl's number as well, if possible. If you're just too adverse to that, what you're doing is still better than nothing. Maybe eventually you'll work your way up to that level. However, write your phone number on the back of your business card, to allow her to call you rather than just email you. For various reasons, giving your email address alone is not a great idea.
  • I don't know how you're approaching these women exactly, but try to make sure that you don't look like you're just going around the grocery store giving out your business card to women in the hopes of hooking up -- as though you're giving out coupons to a new laundromat to everyone who goes by. There is high risk for coming off like a creepy guy by using your method. Proceed with caution.
  • Lose the schtick about trashing the card if she isn't interested. She's probably smart enough to figure it out on her own, and you don't need to go around putting ideas in her head, especially since it makes you look so insecure. A guy who is confident does not instruct a girl on how best to go about rejecting him.
 
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Card approach is extremely passive and shows a girl that you lack confidence...also it seems as though you carry cards around and give them to everybody, this doesn't make the girl feel unique or special.

Be a man and pursue with your mouth and not print! You need some game and balls to do this. Your card is probably all over the city thrown to the ground and blowing in the wind. This method tells you nothing of her interest level and is a waste of paper and time. Why waste an approach without asking directly for her number since you already have her attention.
 

Tango-Kid

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- It´s freaky
- You´re not a challenge
- You are not the one who´s in control
- It shows that you either don´t have confidence or are not interested especially on her (giving cards to everyone)

I wouldn´t do that. Even though you might feel/be confident while using this technique, it has a lot disadvantages.

I never give my personal data, not even a phone number to a girl after the first approach.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I used to use this one for a long time. Only strong cops will call you. (very interested types)

When their interest level is high you can write your own ticket.

Good show.

Your not being AFC....just change the ending about trash it...sounds weak. You should approach with the positive in mind. You should be firmly convinced in your own confidence and yourself.

In other words you expect them to call when you hand out the card is the aura and force that you put into it. (or email whatever your closer is)
 

Tango-Kid

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I was thinking more about it, and I came to think that maybe it´s not a bad idea to give the cards as a routine, to most girls you approach.

But the ones that you are really interested, I think it´s more safe to go for the digits - you don´t want to miss a HB9 only because she lost your card or just doesn´t pick up the phone and call you!!!

I personally wouldn´t still do it - I enjoy approaching the girl and getting her digits. And who´s the lucky girl than gets to go out with me, I´ll just call her. If something goes wrong, I still have other choices left.

But, everyone has their own style. If you find yours effective, then it´s not AFCish at all!!! I think in most things there are no absolutely right or wrong ways to do it. There is three ways to do things, the bad way, the good way, and then there is my way :D Or how was it?
 
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Yes, very interested girls will call you, but then again, very interested girls will definitely give you their number as well, and this puts you in a position of control as decision-maker and not her. I would use business cards only in an 'equal' exchange - this is what these business cards were meant for - for future contact between two individuals that acquiesce to such contact.
 
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