Please Answer: Girlfriend Is Texting This Guy....

[Clement]

Girlfriend is texting this guy at college. Found out because she said randomly when reading her phone, "This guy texts like a retard", but I knew it was to arise the subject. They met at a party, but I do not know how she got the number. I played it nonchalantly and continued reading an article I was as if I had not really heard her, saying "oh". He is popular, cute to girl standards, gets girls, is in her dad's major in college, basketball, and is well-off in terms of schooling and future jobs. So all this to say, I am a bit worried for once. I feel inadequate, but I know I need to deal with this issue as it will probably occur more than once (another man being better off - at least for now, not in the future when I rise the ranks). I am a bit worried about them talking/texting and I do not really want to ask and seem insecure.

I never really am concerned, so much so that I reach a message board. But this is the only way. Please help to your utmost. I need to deal with this because worries such as these have definitely had a toll on my college career. How do I deal with this? What should I do?

Thank you in advance.

 

[In10se]

Might want to focus on expressing you thoughts in a slightly more coherent manner...from what I gather your girlfriend is texting another guy that you think might be a better catch than you? Do you go to college with your gf or is she states away? Or is she in highschool with you and is talking to a college guy? Need more info...

 

[morepoonplease]

Girlfriend is texting this guy at college. Found out because she said randomly when reading her phone, "This guy texts like a retard", but I knew it was to arise the subject. They met at a party, but I do not know how she got the number. I played it nonchalantly and continued reading an article I was as if I had not really heard her, saying "oh". He is popular, cute to girl standards, gets girls, is in her dad's major in college, basketball, and is well-off in terms of schooling and future jobs. So all this to say, I am a bit worried for once. I feel inadequate, but I know I need to deal with this issue as it will probably occur more than once (another man being better off - at least for now, not in the future when I rise the ranks). I am a bit worried about them talking/texting and I do not really want to ask and seem insecure.

I never really am concerned, so much so that I reach a message board. But this is the only way. Please help to your utmost. I need to deal with this because worries such as these have definitely had a toll on my college career. How do I deal with this? What should I do?

Thank you in advance.

Your princess is in another castle lol

 

[Clement]

Might want to focus on expressing you thoughts in a slightly more coherent manner...from what I gather your girlfriend is texting another guy that you think might be a better catch than you? Do you go to college with your gf or is she states away? Or is she in highschool with you and is talking to a college guy? Need more info...

Yeah, both in different colleges. We see each other, usually with our families and they are pretty close. She shows affection and we spend loads of time together when together. I just figure that she would not do anything because she wants to seem so "perfect" to her parents (who are in a very nice marriage, one of the best I have seen). However, she has been biting her nails lately (which may not be connected) and texting this man. Is that enough information?

 

[Maximummax]

biting nails!
Dude you are paying too much attention to this. Concentrate on your personel life. If she wants to fork that guy she will.

 

[DonGorgon]

here is The reality... young cute females have men chasing them all the time .. all the time and they will reject 90% of the men who chase them but they will also be attracted to 10% and F at least 5%.. thats just reality for human females wether they are married or in a relationship..

Monogamy is a myth in humans...

Sooo.. your GF is cheating and the fact that she is letting you know she is meeting dudes at parties and texting them means she has disconnected emotionally from you and you need to dump her now with no explanation and turn her into an F buddy fast..

 

[TonyBaloney]

Ask yourself honestly;

Has she given reasons before to indicate she may cheat?

Have you notivced any changes in behaviour patterns?

Are you banging the poon/fookin as much as before?

If you have low confidence or have doubts - honestly time to start secretly spinning plates in anticipation of problems - dont put all your eggs in one basket with a girl who is revealing that she may have a promiscous side.

All the best bro,

Tony

 

[49au]

Yeah - the fact that she brought him up casually, on purpose, and in a negative light, is significant IMO.

Dump her and you'll have her by the balls.

 

[PapiChulo]

I don't believe it's a precursor to anything for the exception that she is disrespecting you. I am flirting and texting with a bunch of taken women, married or whatever. It doesn't mean they all sleep with me. They might at some point. But those who continue to do it with me don't get something out of their relationships and intend to seek it elsewhere. In your situation she probably wants to try out as much sausage as possible and see how much she can get away with. That's probably why she brought this up. Let her know that you won't tolerate disrespect through action, and if she doesn't comply you just walk. Can't get jealousy here either - she will run for the hills.

 

[Clement]

Thank you everyone for your responses.

Here is more information. Sorry, I should have posted more before. I am a bit hesitant about breaking up with her. Our families are connected, their parents basically call me their son. Also, she always makes indications that we will have a future together and whatnot. She does listen and give affection also. Overall, I am a bit hesitant and it is difficult to tell if she is just flirting, which she does, or more. So are there any other options? Indubitably though guys, if she did cheat and I discovered this, then I would instantly break it off and move on, never talking to her again or at least with utmost indifference.

I am a bit suspicious about this, especially hearing these viewpoints. But with more information, do you still have the same perspective? Has anyone here been in an identical or similar situation?

 

[Clement]

I don't believe it's a precursor to anything for the exception that she is disrespecting you and that this realtionship is heading downhill. I am flirting and texting with a bunch of taken women, married or whatever. It doesn't mean they all sleep with me. They might at some point. But those who continue to do it with me don't get something out of their relationships and intend to seek it elsewhere. In your situation she probably wants to try out as much sausage as possible and see how much she can get away with. That's probably why she brought this up. Let her know that you won't tolerate disrespect through action, and if she doesn't comply you just walk.

Thank you, sir. Yeah, I told her one night explicitly that if she does anything of that nature, I will break it off. I meant it. She cried. I told her then that I stand by it. Then she said that even if I cheated, she would stay in the relationship. Still, I would not buy it and continued. Should I reinforce this? I want to, but do not want to sound needy.

I have read every single response. I have some homework, so I can't respond to every response, but I am duly noting each one and am thankful for it and future responses.

 

[49au]

Then she said that even if I cheated, she would stay in the relationship.

BIG. RED. FLAG.



p.s. Ask yourself why she brought him up, especially in the way she did. She's either trying to make you jealous (games/sh!t test), or she wants to make him known to you so you feel more comfortable with what could be escalating levels of interaction with him. Neither scenario is good.

 

[Clement]

Yeah, she was like "Even if you cheated or even beat me, I would still stay because I love you too much".

What do you think? Does that context make a difference. We have been dating two and a half.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

No girlfriend should ever be consistently texting any guy unless school or work related or they are related. This is very disrespectful.

 

[In2theGame]

Your princess is in another castle lol

lol good one. but honestly if your girlfriend is texting such a guy (good looking/successful) its not too good IMO.

 

[In2theGame]

Thank you everyone for your responses.

Here is more information. Sorry, I should have posted more before. I am a bit hesitant about breaking up with her. Our families are connected, their parents basically call me their son. Also, she always makes indications that we will have a future together and whatnot. She does listen and give affection also. Overall, I am a bit hesitant and it is difficult to tell if she is just flirting, which she does, or more. So are there any other options? Indubitably though guys, if she did cheat and I discovered this, then I would instantly break it off and move on, never talking to her again or at least with utmost indifference.

I am a bit suspicious about this, especially hearing these viewpoints. But with more information, do you still have the same perspective? Has anyone here been in an identical or similar situation?

I underlined and Bold the text in your post here because you gave me a quick flashback. My ex GF, brought our families together, we had a dinner discussing us getting married and she insured me everyday that i was to be her husband because she loved me so much. After being together for couple of years, i was going to step in and get married. few months after the family dinner, she left me for another guy. have a nice day

 

[In2theGame]

The good news is you have played this perfectly. Most of us RAFC's and DJs are salivating over how much dignity and authority you managed to salvage in this situation. You need to dump her out of nowhere, preferably for another chick. Bringing him up on purpose was a sickening move on her part.

Unfortunately, the dump her out of nowhere part may be necessary. You really dont know whats going on, so she could possibly be preparing a "branch swing".

 

[Clement]

I underlined and Bold the text in your post here because you gave me a quick flashback. My ex GF, brought our families together, we had a dinner discussing us getting married and she insured me everyday that i was to be her husband because she loved me so much. After being together for couple of years, i was going to step in and get married. few months after the family dinner, she left me for another guy. have a nice day

Ouch. Seriously? I will be more careful. That's repulsive.

 

[Clement]

Unfortunately, the dump her out of nowhere part may be necessary. You really dont know whats going on, so she could possibly be preparing a "branch swing".

What do you mean a branch swing?

-Clement

 

[cablecow15]

What do you mean a branch swing?

-Clement

like a monkey swinging through the trees shes gonna swing to his branch from yours