"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Playing games or low interest

vorbis

Senior Don Juan
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Honestly at times I wished I stayed in Ireland. Women over here just want to mess with your head. So I met this HB7 at a party two weekends back. We ended up chatting for a while near the end of the night and I built kno as well. I took her number and we kissed as she was leaving to get a lift with her sister. I also needed to get a lift so logistics prevented an attempt at a f-close.

So I ring her on Monday and set up a date for Wednesday. We went to get something to eat and chatting about stuff in general. Nothing too personal. We split the bill and I walked her home. I didn't push to get invited in (mistake? for some reason, i'm not perceiving her as a slutty girl, a short makeout was all that happened outside her door, she stopped the kissing) She invited me to her housewarming that Friday night and seemed happy when I said I was going.

I went along with a friend and for want of a better word she mostly ignored me for the evening. She wasn't being *****y and would chat away whenever we bumped into each other. I adopted a not too bothered attitude and just chatted to anyone and everyone. Even a friend of hers was openly hitting on and kinoing me :woo: I was tempted but figured it would be bad form to try to close her.

My friend left at 1 and I stayed beacuse (a) I was having a good time and (b) I hoped I might be able to isolate her later on. That didn't happen and she asked everyone including me to leave at 4ish. There was a guy passed out on top of her bed, she said he was her ex and that he was ok there :eek:

So I hugged her outside and told her I'd see her next week, she made some sort of smart alecy comment and returned the hug. One bizarre thing that sticks out is that one of her friends called the guy passed out on her bed her bf and she didn't correct him. She had told me that they had split up because he cheated on her. Tbh i'm just confused.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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WC2

Master Don Juan
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Read the bible. You obviously didn't do anything to make her interested enough in you. She sees you as a friend she can use right now. Chatting and going to get something to eat was a way of her testing you to see what kind of guy you were, and you didn't pass the first time. She's also got an ex-bf who cheated on her. Bad news. Not only does it mean that she still isn't over him, but it also means he's still banging her. Hold your head up high, put this girl on the backburner and date some others. If she does come around again, show her something good about you next time. Any guy can take a girl out to lunch and chat with her.
 

vorbis

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well I was the one who said we'd get something to eat. Its a decent date idea for mid week and it saves me having to cook that evening. How am I being classified as a friend if I've kissed her twice in the space of a week?? You could be right about her still banging the ex bf. I also have two other girls I'm gaming right now so its not as if I'm worried about that. As the title says, is her lukewarm behaviour at the party game playing or low interest? Up to then she displayed a fair amount of interest.
 

vorbis

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i'm going to. I'm just looking for advice about how to handle it. as in whether I need to raise more attraction from her or just play it cool.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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nonchalant

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probably the best way to handle this situation is to focus on other girls for a while and let her come to you
 

Serialized3

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Just chill man and put her into rotation with other girls you're seeing. Call her up in a few days and invite her to do something. If she's hesitant, I'd suggest nexting her.

I think you made a mistake when you went to her housewarming party, DeAngelo says that the first few times you meet a girl you should do it in a neutral place, or bring her into "your world" rather than in "her world" where she's the social center, because then she has everyone's attention and you can get lost in the shuffle.
 

vorbis

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thanks for the advice, thats pretty much what happened Serialized3. I knew very few people there whereas she knew most of them. As I said I did make a good attempt to be sociable and certainly wasn't hanging around in the corner just talking to my friend. The ironic thing is that I was unable to go to a party on Saturday. The girl who invited me to that one is a much better bet in terms of sex than the one in question above.
 
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