Playfulness: A question for once

[HuangBei]

Okay guys, I ask your advice on something:

What I need some help on is playfulness. Now let me give you some context first so you can understand.

Today I met this hot mamma (not literally a mom) named Erika. She's full blood Mexican and the moment I saw her I was blown away, at first. She practically intimidated me (this may have been because she's 4 years older than me, heh, and doesn't know my age). This made me want to approach her even MORE! So I did, met her, did the palm thing (and I'll note I was still a bit nervous), and even got her number, but I don't think I got the level of attraction going in her that I wanted.

I think this is because...PLAYFULNESS. She let it be known, in subtle ways, that she's wild and a part girl. My chill attitude was cool, but I think if I had played around with her I would have sparked a much greater liking. How do I know this? I have these Japanese beads that I usually get asked to show. I decided I'd ask her if she'd seen them before. I did, and she said yes and tried to take them but I pulled them away. It was a subtle challenge. She acted whiny but actually laughed about it and I knew this was a good response. I went ahead and let her see them, but I have a feeling if I had kept finding ways to be playful like this, I would have had a LOT stronger rapport.

In the end she seemed no more than interested, but not really turned on. What would you all suggest I do to become more playful?

 

[Caveman]

Practise on everyone every day so you get used to it. That way you won't be even thinking about it if you meet a new 'babe'. It has to become part of your personality.

Make it a habit to be playful with any female you meet. Maybe even your little sister (walk away if she gets turned on though ) And eventually it will become second nature and you can't even help being playful.

The problem with wild girls though is that often times they go for the bad boy. They already lead an exiting life and are always looking for more, so if you can't consider yourself bad, exiting and adventurous, you are gonna have a hard time trying to keep up.

 

[xblitz44x]

Just be you, man. First of all, relax. You're not going to come across as more playful if you're scripting out what you're going to say. In fact, only when you let yourself relax and fall more into your natural role, will you be comfortable enough to play around. You should treat an interaction with her no different than you're talking to a friend.

What happened was, you noticed an older women...and BOOM, attraction happened. You saw she was beautiful so she intimidated you. The more 'beautiful' you think she is, the more she will intimidate you. This happens to every single person who is unaware of it. And what's more, is the more she intimidates you, the more you'll feel that the 'natural you' sucks, and the more you'll feel like you have to DO SOMETHING different, or be somebody else in order to 'get her'.

And when that happens one of three things will happen:

1) you'll start running scripted shyt that will probably come across just as fake and recited and it is, and you'll manage to blow it.

2) You'll clam up and wont' say much because you think you're not good enough to get her. This is usually what happens enough times to draw these "DJs" to this board to begin with. They'd rather take their chances with #1 rather than this #2.

3) you could have just shrugged it off, sorted through your insecurity of WHY you didn't think you were 'exciting enough', and just treated this as if you were interacting with a best friend...this woman would have saw your true, real personality and things would have went as planned.

Trust me, if she is going to be attracted later after you pull your 'moves' on her, she was already attracted to you before that. And if she isn't attracted to you now, no 'move' you pull is going to make her any more inclined to have sex with you. Just bring your best YOU to the table and let it shine.

-Blitz

 

[Tuna Head]

Stop this stupid crap, and use the GWM, Could have F*cked her there!

 

[KillingTime]

Definately just be you, the best YOU you can be of course but don't put on any acts. If your not naturally a playful person, why force yourself to be just to get a certain woman? I don't know, it just seems rather AFC to me.... I mean first your analyzing every little thing that went down and now your trying to find a way to please her.
See, you can become playful but if it's not you, then it's just an act and you won't be having fun since you'll be too worried about what to do next, how to keep up the act etc. That's no fun, that's basically what an AFC does. Just be yourself and do what makes you happy and whatever makes life fun for YOU..... chicks like all sorts of different guys, as long as they are confident and all that good stuff so it's not like just b/c your not too playful girls won't like you. If she's not attracted, she's not attracted.... some girls want playful guys, some girls want tough guys.... just be you and you won't gave to front b/c you'll attract girls that actually like who YOU are.
If you normally are a playful person and you just got all nervous and choked, ignore all this crap I just wrote.

 

[xblitz44x]

Very good reply. PLUS, who knows what is considered 'playful' to her? Maybe what YOU think is playful, she thinks is stupid, or boring, or something else. Maybe she already thinks you are playful? You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure that out and it's not worth it. So all you CAN do is bring your best you to the table. If she likes you, or if she doesn't you at least know that she got the chance to see the real you, rather than her rejecting some act that you tried to 'integrate into your personality' without giving your true self a legitimate chance.

 

[HuangBei]

Thanks guys. I think maybe my post may have unclearly stated my intent. I'm not overthinking this, actually I really haven't been thinking about it that much. But I noticed that I'm really not that playful in general. As you all said, bring out the best in the true me, well I see that I've been restraining myself and I've been a bit too boring.

I know I'm naturally playful, I just need to clean away the dirt from the window I call myself, to let the good light shine through, if you know what I mean. Thanks a lot for your advice, all of you.

 

[ToughGuy]

Play ful ness

Hey buddy
I am also wondering on this aspects of my personality.

so what i thought of doing is to do simple things with my gal.
when she is on my apptmnt.
I play these kiddo things with her.

1. Karomboard
2. snake n ladders
3. watching charlie chaplin n tom n jerry movies.
4. Badminton
5. 0 and X on paper
6. Video games
7. Bowling.
8. teaching her to ride a bike.
9. "who will recognize the actual song by listening the first few notes"
10. Just dancing
11 teaching her dance.

And so on.

You guys can add the things to it. and i am getting new n new ideas every day.

Yours
Tuffy