DoItAgain said:
What I mean is, how do you keep your guard up, while still going into a situation with an open mind? For example, I'm currently of the mindset, based on experience, that most young women are pretty much only good for their looks...and that it's just a matter of finding "the best of the worst" personality-wise so it doesn't get in the way of the physical attraction. I don't want or believe in a connection with a woman and believe it's just chick-flick nonsense.
So how do you keep this mindset, while also sarging and being upbeat around women? What I'm trying to do is kind of have the personality you'd have around co-workers or distant relatives that you aren't that close with...you're cordial with them, but you don't get into your personal business with them, and it's just a casual relationship.
A "player" mindset, is pretty much being fake. Or at least fake in the eyes of your woman. A player will say whatever a woman wants to hear to bed her. I follow this philosophy, but I also consider myself an honest player. I'm brutaly honest. So when the time comes you no longer need her, I will tell her that. I feel like woman fit into a certain time period. There's an introduction, a peak, and an end result. When she is of no use to you anymore, or is trying to tie you down then that's when a player splits.
Casual relationships are nice, and it's up to you how "casual" you let the relationship become. But you also need to remember that there is an element of trust and comfort you need to acknowledgment in woman. This is where the whole "being fake" thing comes into play. A girl has to trust you or at least feel somewhat comfortable around you in order to sleep with you. You can't do this by keeping your guard up constantly. You either have to let it down, or be fake. You have to show her that you are somewhat vulnerable as well (despite what a lot of people here tell you), you have to prove that you are a person too. Share personal stories with her, she will do the same. Either be real, or fake. I think that's the separation between most guys and players. I do think it's possible to be real without letting your guard down too much. The easiest solution is to not go overboard on one girl. When you are spinning plates then there is no need to be worried about this. You can be real with all of them. When you are spending time with one, you are both happy, she feels like the luckiest woman on earth. The look in your eyes, the touch you give her, everything is genuine. Then you go meet girl #2, it's the same thing. If one acts up, then you just hit up your other girl. I think this is why it's stressed so much here about spinning plates. I recommend being real, show vulnerability a little bit, but don't make one girl your everything. Being vulnerable doesn't necessarily mean you are vulnerable to HER. At the same time, stand your ground as a man. Woman love that.
I'm rambling now.. basically what I'm saying is.. if you act like a robot then people are going to treat you like one. Either be genuine and fun loving, or be fake and fun loving. If you aren't a heart-felt or emotional person than sometimes you will have to fake it. If you are already a sympathetic person, then it's easy.
Remember the ultimate law. Woman run off of EMOTIONS. Robots do not have emotions, however they can evoke them if they're programmed to do so correctly.
-Scars
