"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Play it safe or gamble?

MM92

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Not been on here for a long while but basically I need advice as I'm at a crossroads and there is used to be pretty solid advice on here.

Basically I have a bit of a crush on my friends workmate. Weird as I've never actually spoken to her but there is something about her. She does know who I am by the way, I'm not some stalker from afar. From pure looks I'm 50/50 if she'd like me or not originally. However I'm 90% sure if she spent 5 minutes around me she would be more than willing to go on a date or something with me. The problem is I barely ever see her, and if I do it's when she's working in a busy environment.

I'm not sure whether to risk the 50/50 and ask her out when she may say no due to not knowing me so well, or bide my time which could take weeks/months until she may run in the same circles and get to know me when it would be nailed on as far as I'm concerned.

Opinions? Based off real life experience only please
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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yuppee

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move, before somebody else grabs her up. Dont be a pvssy, you'll regret it you don't at least TRY.
 

MM92

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move, before somebody else grabs her up. Dont be a pvssy, you'll regret it you don't at least TRY.
Yep, this is my worry. If I don't snap her up asap someone else might. Only issue being she may say no since she doesn't really know me, but if she did then she would most definitely say yes.

Just gonna have to take the risk. Finding the right time could be difficult. I don't wanna ask her out over facebook would be weird lol
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Yewki

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From pure looks I'm 50/50 if she'd like me or not originally.... However I'm 90% sure if she spent 5 minutes around me she would be more than willing to go on a date... I'm not sure whether to risk the 50/50 and ask her out when she may say no due to not knowing me so well
Notice how you mention nothing about the odds of you liking her... you've got quite the nice pedestal going for her there
 

CMNILS87

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GAY!!!!!!!! tell youre friend to invite her for drinks and you all meet up to party. How have ou not thought of this yet ffs.
 

MM92

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Notice how you mention nothing about the odds of you liking her... you've got quite the nice pedestal going for her there
You're not wrong, although I won't know if I like her until she accepts a date.

GAY!!!!!!!! tell youre friend to invite her for drinks and you all meet up to party. How have ou not thought of this yet ffs.
Yep. I've had a shocker with this whole thing tbh, heads gone. Built something so small into something so big. Really unlike me these days
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Yewki

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You're not wrong, although I won't know if I like her until she accepts a date.
Let me ask you a question...

Have you ever had a conversation with her? About anything?
 

gravityeyelids

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Ehh i personally think it's a bit weird to go out of your way and show up randomly somewhere to ask her out. A smoother tactic in my mind would be to try to get your friend to invite her and some workmates out so that you can "conveniently" be introduced to her.

Is it the type of work where you can conveniently show up for a different reason? For example: if the girl works in a coffee shop or store, you can go there on the premise of getting a cup of coffee or meeting someone and then use that as an opportunity to further the interaction.

Of course you could just grab your balls and approach her out of the blue and flirt her pants off.
 
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