"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Play Fighting

freefalling

Don Juan
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How do I play fight with a girl? Sometimes I can see that the girl seems to want to, but I freeze up and have no idea what to do. For example if I am sitting on a couch watching TV with a girl what should I do? I'm pretty much clueless so any advice would be helpful.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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The Juan and only

Master Don Juan
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I'd say you should just kind of grapple with her, maybe try and pin her down. I dunno really but any hitting probably isn't a great idea - it's not a time for head rubs, purple nurples and chinese burns, etc :D ok...some girls might like thta kinda thing but I wouldn't really recommend it.
 

Captain Popular

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Great things come from this: play fighting is one of my fav things with a gurl.

ok this only works with a girl that is ticklish but give her one poke on the side.........she is gunna jump like a little fish........."ohh im sorry, you had something and i was just trying to get it off for ya, aint i a nice guy?"

"i wont happen again, i mean unless there is something there and ill have to be a man and protect u."

look at her and ask her a question or something, then....poke, "i think i got him this time....no wait and start tickling her...she will slapp and proly try and tickle you back, if she's any fun.......

a good place to tickle them is on the sides and their thighs close to the knee...



you:"so are you ticklish everywhere"
blahh blahh blahh, flirting and what not...if you kinda want to turn this sexual, say something along the lines of:
you: "you know you are gunna have to stop that (tickling a certain spot on you)"
her:"why"
you:"well because that is a spot that stirss up certain emotions that umm....yeah.
you:"i dont think you're that lucky of a girl yet"
you:"maybe one day"

=try not to be too rough with the females because you wanna save the bruising for the sack.
=let her get some tickling in, it will be good for both of yall to be laughing not just her
=this is gunna take those walls down and you'll be able to take advatage of that, she's gunna subconsiously believe that you are so fun because all the laughing that when you all of a sudden stop and look deep into her eyes, she's gunna know.....Give her the best kiss ever and hey dont say i didnt warn you about them bruises man!!!

Good luck
Im Out
Mr. Larry
 

GropeDope

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All you have to do is choke a b!tch.

Why don't you try play fighting.......with my c*ck?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Captain Popular

Don Juan
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Water guns,
water balloons
water ****ing, alwayz fun
playing tag an hide and seek...naked
 

Way

Don Juan
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LOL

Captain, great post. I'll definitely use the one about being a man and needing to protect her. But I think I liked tigre's response best

I like to say give a random fact that challenges her, like "Hey I was reading National Geographic (I know they wouldn't publish anything like this, but saying Scientific American or anything else more plausible sounds too geeky to me) and did you know that women are on average 86% weaker than men?"

And she'll be like "No way that's bull****"
You "Prove it"
Her "Noo" (generally they wont do anything at this)
You "Alright, whatever spaghetti arms, chicken legs, string bean, flabby, (especially flabby) bones, etc... something funny
Her *omg no he didn't* *hit*


It's also great if you lead up to it with something about how women are more overweight than men, then call her chubby, husky, plump, tubby... this is great especially if she's really really hot.


Hope that helps man, and good luck. If you say almost anything with an air of "I'm so much better than you because.." Or, "You're such a nerd and I probably shouldn't be hanging out with you" She'll hit you & the fun can begin.

*note* do not tickle armpits. most women get creeped out by that. They don't like guys to know they sweat I guess. BUT if you do feel her sweat, make sure you say something about it ;)
 
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