Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You can definitely be a nice guy and still succeed with women. Do not become a jerk. You don't have to, if u want lots of women. Being a jerk doesn't guarantee u will get lots either. Yes, maybe some women are drawn to jerks, but its not them being rude/assholish that the girls like...its just that they have the sexually qualities that a true man has. In terms of nice, its more on the lines of being a friendly, socialable, moral, down to earth guy rather than being a dorm-mat. Be a nice guy with an edge. Have the above traits BUT also know when to be a badboy(sexualy) and to not take **** from people. Most guys who are jerks tend to have karma hit back at them(treating women badly), and are rude based on getting hurt in the past, it comes to haunt them from time to time....as the women are hurt emotionally.Is it possible to be raised a nice guy, read material on seduction, and then transform into a jerk? I mean isn't that the whole Nature versus Nurture ordeal? If you were raised or grow up shy, not confident, etc can you make the crucial transition to not necessarily a jerk put to a testosteronized male? Ya feel me? Is that plausible?
As far as I'm concerned, you become one of two things when in the hood: how to stand up for yourself or how to run the hell away. If you were shy and scared growing up, the stress levels of you finally adjusting to picking up women (which has a huge stress level for anyone inexperienced) is going to be a little tough. You can get through it, but you need to start sooner than later. Don't ever think that you can't do it.2. U sound like u may be from the hood... so how the heck were u raised to be shy and unconfident? No parent or mentor wants the child to be insecure and spineless. BUT it IS easier to live that way (as a beta nice guy, as much as i hate the term "nice guy" because its being misused), therefore people justify it by saying oops, its not my fault, I was just BROUGHT UP this way.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.