Plates and low shot percentage - need advice

[synergy1]

Things have certainly been worse in my life, but one thing that has perplexed me is my rather dismal record with running plates. Its not that I have not had success with women; actually things are probably going better than they ever have been. As a proponent of continually improving, I have been gradually taking on bunch of 'plates' just to help with my odds. Frankly, many of these plates haven't worked out for one reason for another. A large component is probably locality as many are a bit of a drive.

The reason for this thread is from this weekend. I met a chick who was fresh 21 - cute as hell. Managed to even go out with her a few days after and everything seemed pretty good. I knew to hedge my bet and keep it all on the DL so another chick I dated last week would never find out. Thankfully I did this because the 21 year old figured I was too old ( 10 year difference), and decided to cut contact.

The focus of this thread is on how to increase the success with women you have contacted. out of the 7 or so I had a chance with, it seems only one might pan out. one might admire having so many shots, but that sort of low percentage is a bit embarrassing. I'd like to get it up.

Has anyone else experienced this and what is a good idea to fix it? The whole 'work on yourself bit' is rather moot - I work out all the time, play tons of sports, (finally) have a great career, and am all around doing okay. right now, I have 3 girls left with only 1 who will probably actually want to do anything.

Advice/comments/criticism welcome! bring it!

 

[Lexington]

It looks like you must have some problem with the technical aspects of your game. You're working on yourself, you are pursuing multiple plates and getting a lot of initial interest it seems. It looks to me like you're having trouble with closing. Closing is an area of "Game-ology" unto itself.

Unless you provide very detailed information about what exactly you're doing, it would be difficult to troubleshoot your specific problems. Fortunately, there is a wealth of information out there on how to close. The closing aspect of the game is very important and it is often overlooked because most folks only focus on opening and rapport building. Transitioning to the last part of the game can be tough.

You've got most of the ingredients for a good baseball team. What you need now is a good fireman to bring it on home in the 9th inning.

 

[synergy1]

Right, its the closing that is proving slightly difficult. Not to sound over the top here, but I think I am using my opening as a crutch and am being sub par at closing. Chicks frequently approach me, so closing initially is a matter of conversation and making them have a good time. However, the girls i don't fvck on the first night I seldom manage to get thereafter. this must be a function of my personality.

To be clear, I never was a natural at this. its been years upon years of learning, and not one of my friends would think about talking poorly about my success lately. However, what they don't know is that its a constant learning experience.

its difficult to self examine ones actions without a little bit of bias. However, I'll do my best to accurately represent what I do before/ during dates to paint a clear picture here.

When I get a chicks number, I usually initiate with texts. I sometimes try and plan with texting, but usually only after a phone call. I don't leave a text if I leave a message though since that would be too much. Usually I try and set up something for weekends since weekdays are difficult; many of the women I meet are an hour away.

When I get a chick out on a date, I typically get comfortable and get them talking about themselves and having a good time. I also talk about myself and usually don't leave much mystery. I keep my past girls under wraps, but talk about most anything. Usually these get togethers go well as far as I know.

Example: the night before last night I went out with a smoking HB 8 - no joke. Met her at the pub a few nights before and got her number. Legit cool chick, so I take her out on the town. Most of the discussion was about her being in college ( she turned 21 not to long ago), while I talked about work/ life and owning a business. She was pretty sharp and kept reminding me what she remembered as if she was qualifying herself to me. By the end of the night we are making out and she seems to want to hang out again. Than the next day she says I am too old than cuts contact.

Another was a cougar who openly said she wanted to fvck, but she kept coming up with excuses why she couldn't hang out. I stopped after trying to get her to do something on two occasions.

I want to reiterate that women aren't a dismal failure by any means. My problem is afterwards up to closing. The plan of action is to cut back on using texting - call only to set up times to hang out, and say less when I am with them. its hard to look at ones self and really determine what is wrong, which is why I decided to make this post.

 

[gaspipe]

Right, its the closing that is proving slightly difficult. Not to sound over the top here, but I think I am using my opening as a crutch and am being sub par at closing. Chicks frequently approach me, so closing initially is a matter of conversation and making them have a good time. However, the girls i don't fvck on the first night I seldom manage to get thereafter. this must be a function of my personality.

To be clear, I never was a natural at this. its been years upon years of learning, and not one of my friends would think about talking poorly about my success lately. However, what they don't know is that its a constant learning experience.

its difficult to self examine ones actions without a little bit of bias. However, I'll do my best to accurately represent what I do before/ during dates to paint a clear picture here.

When I get a chicks number, I usually initiate with texts. I sometimes try and plan with texting, but usually only after a phone call. I don't leave a text if I leave a message though since that would be too much. Usually I try and set up something for weekends since weekdays are difficult; many of the women I meet are an hour away.

When I get a chick out on a date, I typically get comfortable and get them talking about themselves and having a good time. I also talk about myself and usually don't leave much mystery. I keep my past girls under wraps, but talk about most anything. Usually these get togethers go well as far as I know.

Example: the night before last night I went out with a smoking HB 8 - no joke. Met her at the pub a few nights before and got her number. Legit cool chick, so I take her out on the town. Most of the discussion was about her being in college ( she turned 21 not to long ago), while I talked about work/ life and owning a business. She was pretty sharp and kept reminding me what she remembered as if she was qualifying herself to me. By the end of the night we are making out and she seems to want to hang out again. Than the next day she says I am too old than cuts contact.

Another was a cougar who openly said she wanted to fvck, but she kept coming up with excuses why she couldn't hang out. I stopped after trying to get her to do something on two occasions.

I want to reiterate that women aren't a dismal failure by any means. My problem is afterwards up to closing. The plan of action is to cut back on using texting - call only to set up times to hang out, and say less when I am with them. its hard to look at ones self and really determine what is wrong, which is why I decided to make this post.

I understand where you are coming from because I have struggled with the same problem as it pertains to closing a girl after meeting/getting the number from her. After many years I have come to the realization that a girl's interest level from the beginning determines the outcome. What I mean is if her interest level/sexual state of mind is high enough then there is almost nothing you can do wrong that would prevent you from closing her. Things will just flow naturally. That has been my experience at least. The women Ive been able to close had high interest. The ones that gave me trouble were just not that into me.

 

[DMSR76]

I understand where you are coming from because I have struggled with the same problem as it pertains to closing a girl after meeting/getting the number from her. After many years I have come to the realization that a girl's interest level from the beginning determines the outcome. What I mean is if her interest level/sexual state of mind is high enough then there is almost nothing you can do wrong that would prevent you from closing her. Things will just flow naturally. That has been my experience at least. The women Ive been able to close had high interest. The ones that gave me trouble were just not that into me.

This perfectly sums it up.

OP, I definitely know what you mean. Sometimes I have to remind myself that a woman who wants to close the deal (or at least move the interaction forward) will make herself abundantly available to do so. Rollo's famous quote applies.

Anything less is a sure sign of moderate-to-low interest.

 

[DMSR76]

I think a take-home message is to concentrate your efforts on high-interest women, and many of them. The first sign of flaky behavior from one should be met with indifference.

Resist the temptation to beat yourself up because of a woman being her hypergamous self. As long as you continue to move along your path of continual self-improvement, good things will happen.

 

[gaspipe]

If a girl is giving you problems closing you may also try cutting all contact with her. No phone calls, no text messaging, nothing. Sometimes they will come crawling back and make it much easier to close the deal. Its worked for me on several occasions to great effect.

 

[PokerStar]

This perfectly sums it up.

OP, I definitely know what you mean. Sometimes I have to remind myself that a woman who wants to close the deal (or at least move the interaction forward) will make herself abundantly available to do so. Rollo's famous quote applies.

Anything less is a sure sign of moderate-to-low interest.

i agree 100%

you cant win them all.

 

[PokerStar]

or can you win them all?

 

[synergy1]

I think a take-home message is to concentrate your efforts on high-interest women, and many of them. The first sign of flaky behavior from one should be met with indifference.

Resist the temptation to beat yourself up because of a woman being her hypergamous self. As long as you continue to move along your path of continual self-improvement, good things will happen.

this makes me feel a little better. Lately I have been contemplating if my actions are the reason for low interest, while the case might be that its just 'low interest' from the onset. If this is the case, how do I manage to get so many low interest chicks who don't want to hang out after? Part of it has to do with distance/ life schedules, but part of it is lack of interest too..

on a side note, I wish it worked out with the 21 year old chick. she was above the norm for what I usually work with. I think i talked too much about my age and that killed it. lesson learned. not going to entertain them with my age.

And to the point of the very last post of this thread, in theory one would like to bat near 100%. I think that this number is approachable , but still requires work and patience. Remember, I didn't start out as a natural so learning and correcting is the name of the game.

 

[Lexington]

Of course a higher interest rate = successful close rate. That's why when I was an AFC, I had a 100% success rate....the girls practically had to throw themselves at me before I'd do anything.

The truth is though, if you want to get lots of tail you'll probably have to work at it unless you're very good looking and/or rich and/or famous. If you restrict yourself to only girls who show lots of interest, you'll probably miss out on a lot of good play.

These days a lot of girls won't show you initial interest. This is just a sh*t test. Sometimes you have to hang in there and see what happens. The problem is, most guys don't know about the last part of the game. It's something that I struggled with too.

When I first started out, I was so excited about opening girls and building interest that I forgot about the last step. It requires just as much attention as the other aspects of the game.

A pilot can't just get by with learning how to take off and navigate to the destination. He's also got to learn how to land the plane.

 

[synergy1]

Of course a higher interest rate = successful close rate. That's why when I was an AFC, I had a 100% success rate....the girls practically had to throw themselves at me before I'd do anything.

The truth is though, if you want to get lots of tail you'll probably have to work at it unless you're very good looking and/or rich and/or famous. If you restrict yourself to only girls who show lots of interest, you'll probably miss out on a lot of good play.

These days a lot of girls won't show you initial interest. This is just a sh*t test. Sometimes you have to hang in there and see what happens. The problem is, most guys don't know about the last part of the game. It's something that I struggled with too.

When I first started out, I was so excited about opening girls and building interest that I forgot about the last step. It requires just as much attention as the other aspects of the game.

A pilot can't just get by with learning how to take off and navigate to the destination. He's also got to learn how to land the plane.

you bring up a good point about women not showing interest, which is why I will usually give a few attempts at the onset. However, consecutive flakes lead me to believe that the attraction isn't there enough , plain and simple.

another valid point you mention is comparing ones success rates to prior 'afc' days. I had a higher success rate when I had fewer numbers, but as you just said...my numbers are much higher now. basically the more you put yourself out there, the better the chance for failure.

This brings me to the point : why plan for failure? 90% of businesses fail. Why go into something with the mindset that it will fail? Thats now a healthy outlook. With women its the same thing. Why should I plan for, or accept a high failure rate? it is this essence that drives me to make this thread and explore ways to improve my success rate. Will it be perfect? no. could it be better? most certainly.

I will continue to follow this thread with my experiences so they can be critiqued and adjustments can be made as needed. There are a few plates still in play. Lets see how these go..

 

[Three]

One thing that struck me, Synergy, was the content of your conversations. I don't know if you guys follow David D. at all, but he always says to stay away from boring, normal stuff, especially on those crucial first dates/meetings. Maybe the work and school stuff (sorry, but it does sound really boring) isn't helping to ratchet up the interest level.

How about focusing the conversation on something else that you're passionate about? And start messing with her about her boring talk about college, too. "Yeah, yeah, so you got an 'A' in English 103. Yawn."

 

[Jitterbug]

On average, how long have you know these girls and how much time have you spent with them before you decide that there's no shot?

 

[Fuglydude]

Dude, when I was single, I would always go for girls that I knew were interested in me... When you're an attractive guy you'll have a lot of options, so you'll have a lot to choose from.

Its a simple solution that means you'll bat a high percentage, and you'll much more time to devote to other real important stuff, like career, school, gym, etc.

 

[synergy1]

Dude, when I was single, I would always go for girls that I knew were interested in me... When you're an attractive guy you'll have a lot of options, so you'll have a lot to choose from.

Its a simple solution that means you'll bat a high percentage, and you'll much more time to devote to other real important stuff, like career, school, gym, etc.

At the onset of meeting said girls, I am usually sure they are into me. It doesn't take much to get them, and I can tell the difference between a chick who is being polite and one who has genuine interest. The thing is I think a lot of my interest is in the moment, and trying to get something going a few days later is a bit more difficult. part of it could be luck too, but thats never a factor when considering ways to improve.

Part of it could be locale. One of my friends who has had zero luck here was relocated to socal for work, and has already managed a few phone numbers, and went out with a chick. It can be hard to crack girls when I am not in boston..

as for the dates, I am good at carrying a conversation. Its hard to explain without showing, but take my word that I am not an uncomfortable boring type who drones on and on about useless crap. As an example , the 21 year old and I had great conversation ( perhaps I gave up too much), and we even made out in public. Conversation is one of those things I am good at starting with anyone..on the street, in a bar, you name it.

As mentioned earlier, i will keep track of what happens and post so it can be critiqued. One of my plates is pulling the 'busy 'card, but she runs her own business on top of a FT job so it might be true. The other plate said she would try and take time off from work to come on a group trip with us in a few weeks. However, all these 'maybes' need to be 'yes' otherwise its all for naught..