Plate spinning to the outside world?

[Roober]

Okay, I do not use the term "plate spinning", but when I talk to people about the idea of dating, getting a woman in the sack, and then consequently seeing her 1-2 times a week for a couple months, people stare at me like I am from another planet.

I have gotten..
-"you can't do that, someone is going to get hurt"
-"You have sex with more than one person?"
-"what do you mean having sex with several women?"
-"that is not cool at all"
-"why are you meeting more women if you are shacking up with one?"

I have gotten answers all over the board from men and women. Even my cousin, who has ridden the **** carousel is only mildly supportive. Most of my close buddies say I should just find bar tramps... It is like everyone (outside of SS) believes that if you are intimate with someone, you are automatically considered exclusive...

Is casual dating taboo now?

 

[Urbanyst]

I don't talk about my sex life with other people in great detail. People see me with different women and ask questions. I give very vague responses and change the subject. It is none of their business anyway.

Most players I've met are not very open about it. One time I tried to bond with another guy who obviously spun plates and all he would do is laugh and pat me on the back. But he would not answer any questions. When I asked him about his plates, he would only talk about their bodies, but not give any details about the relationship status.

As an adult, I am not looking for approval from other adults about how I choose to live. Until they are paying my bills, they can suck it.

 

[Roober]

It's not about gaining approval, but merely curious on the general response everyone gets on the concept of plate spinning. I don't personally know anyone that has ever done it. Everyone that I thought was a "player" was merely a dude with a girlfriend that regularly cheated on her. Often times, it was with much less attractive women... I suppose that could be considered plate spinning as well.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's really not that hard as long as you are upfront and honest with what you want and where you want to take things, and you end up with women who are in the same place you are. One's that are looking for a plow horse... will move onto the next dude. Women know that if you are not in love with them that they can not keep you, but they really don't give a flying fvck how you feel. They only care about how you make THEM feel. If you are pushing her buttons right, she will hang around for awhile and try to change your mind. Just stick to your guns... but be warned... eventually she will drift away.... then just load up the next one.

 

[AlphaNate]

I don't talk about it, unless someone asks.

And if a woman asks, and I tell her, why would I listen to what she says? She doesn't know what she wants anyway.

 

[SuckItUp]

I've always framed it as getting to know what I like and I don't. You'll find that tends to get better responses because it implies that you are thorough, thoughtful, and responsible in your decision making, which is the antithesis in people's minds of plowing women.

Do not pay attention to the female narrative because it shatters their Disney fantasies and blows up hypergamy. Don't pay attention to men who criticize either as they are white knights and typically bend over to a woman's will.

 

[fastlife]

It's just a matter of congruence. If you're just starting out and your new behavior is drastically different from your old, then people will try to shame you back in your place. If they pick up on the fact that you're a little uncomfortable or unsure about it, they'll try to shame you back in your place.

These days I'm just open about it & people accept it. "Oh, that's just @fastlife lol. Any new girls this weekend?" Some of my buddies' gfs & other female friends joke about me being a slvt, but that's about the worst I get.

 

[RangerMIke]

Work Colleagues
I don't discuss my personal business with any workmates, and they don't know what I get up to. Best to be vague. Women have noted that I'm single and messaging on my phone throughout day. They can spot a player. Have strong boundaries, and refuse to be drawn on it.

Ditto... smart move my personal and professional live is separate.

Women in my family

I've found this to be by far the most insidious source of "outrage". The feminized frame push is constant. They will even go so far as to try and butt their nose in and move things forward with plates. Be very wary, and take nothing they say serious.

OH man... so fvcking true. I never bring chicks I'm seeing around family... you are asking for trouble.

Men in my family

Two types. There are guys that I can have a good laugh with about life and women. And then there are spiteful jealous betas who are upset that "deesade is living the wrong way, and shouldn't be having any fun". Provider chodes just annoyed that their game sucks and isn't bringing them proper happiness. Something to watch out for.

Yep... it's actually kind of a surprise who they are. I have a cousin who is a full blown MGTOW monk, lives with his mother, my age (50) is the most critical of my lifestyle. The husband of one of my cousin's married 25 years with kids and grand-kids says he lives vicariously through me.

Male mates

I'm completely open with my friends. They generally find the way I live amusing, and vice versa. However, there is the odd time that my behaviour challenges some of their beliefs about "what is right". At which point, I will happily discuss it with them (only as long as I'm getting good sense), otherwise just keep them in the dark about it for future reference.

Yep... I don't have friends that aren't aligned with my lifestyle.

I don't have any proper white-knight friends, as I find those types of men despicable. But, if you do, I'd keep them at complete arms length from anything to do with women. Those types really can't be trusted.

Yep... I do not have time for these people, they can not be trusted.

 

[sazc]

Everyone is so used to the idea that 'dating' is people spending time with each other in an effort to get to know each other in order to determine IF they want to have a relationship, Today, a lot of 'dating' starts with hooking up and then 'seeing where things go'. People arent used to, or comfortable, with this new norm.

It would be different if either person told the other person they were exclusive and committed, but they weren't see "reyaj", but, from what I can see, no one is talking about exclusivity or committment....they are just having fun, hooking up and getting to know one another.

 

[sazc]

In my experience, good quality women will not tolerate allowing you to openly fvck other women.

truth

 

[zekko]

But in this day and age of rampant hookup culture, all the kids are doing it.

This is what I was thinking. I thought that the "hookup culture" had gone mainstream, especially with all the social media dating sites. So why would anyone be so shocked about the idea of "spinning plates"?

Even back in ancient times, when I was in my 20s, I'd say about half of us were "casually dating", and maybe the other half was paired off. It's not a new thing, most people have always dated around, if only to experience life and figure out what they wanted in a mate.

 

[Roober]

OP almost everyone i know is horrified when they find out I'm "spinning plates" - although this is not the term I use (I generally call it dating around). They all call it cheating. And pretty much it is.. because I still don't know how anybody actually manages to spin plates by telling each of his plates he is actually seeing other people. In my experience, good quality women will not tolerate allowing you to openly fvck other women. Sure, in the first few weeks you can tell a girl " no i can't come out friday i'm going out with another girl" but what self respecting woman will get into a monogamous relationship with a man who does and says things like this to her.

Even on SS, a lot of guys consider plate spinning to be nothing more than cheating. But in this day and age of rampant hookup culture, all the kids are doing it. It is not uncommon for me to meet and go out on dates with 22 or 23 year old women who have fvcked 25+ men already.. and i'm just talking about the ones who are actually honest enough with me to admit it.

This is the general consensus I get as well. Surprisingly, my mom is the most supportive, and we talk 1-2 times per week. I think she sees how I was a serial monogamist and likes to see me "having fun". Even my buddy though, who regularly cheats on his gf, doesn't seem super supportive... or maybe he is jealous?

Anyone else though is absolutely horrified at the idea of making out with 3 women, and fvcking two of them within a 24-hour time period. I usually get the "casual dating is not for me" thing from men and women...

 

[Calum Tingham]

Good subject. I find that it depends on the type of person within my orbit:

Work Colleagues
I don't discuss my personal business with any workmates, and they don't know what I get up to. Best to be vague. Women have noted that I'm single and messaging on my phone throughout day. They can spot a player. Have strong boundaries, and refuse to be drawn on it.

Women in my family
I've found this to be by far the most insidious source of "outrage". The feminized frame push is constant. They will even go so far as to try and butt their nose in and move things forward with plates. Be very wary, and take nothing they say serious.

Men in my family
Two types. There are guys that I can have a good laugh with about life and women. And then there are spiteful jealous betas who are upset that "deesade is living the wrong way, and shouldn't be having any fun". Provider chodes just annoyed that their game sucks and isn't bringing them proper happiness. Something to watch out for.

Male mates
I'm completely open with my friends. They generally find the way I live amusing, and vice versa. However, there is the odd time that my behaviour challenges some of their beliefs about "what is right". At which point, I will happily discuss it with them (only as long as I'm getting good sense), otherwise just keep them in the dark about it for future reference.

I don't have any proper white-knight friends, as I find those types of men despicable. But, if you do, I'd keep them at complete arms length from anything to do with women. Those types really can't be trusted.

I can so relate to this!

Work colleagues

I shut my mouth. Although I've kissed a secretary in the office kitchen, it was the day before she was leaving. And I've been on an unsuccessful date with one of the other office members.

Mostly, I'm out of the office due to the nature of my work, so I keep it at emails. However, when I do go to the office, I flirt with the staff and joke around. And if I'm at an office party, I'll talk to all the women and flirt openly.

But I NEVER talk about the women I'm seeing and my lifestyle. Let them think what they want to think. My advice is to NEVER brag or tell stories. Focus the attention on other people and never yourself. If you're asked questions, shrug it off, act like it's not interesting and say, "I guess I'm lucky," or "I do okay with women." - Always say, "okay," and never say, "I do great."

Women in my family.

Mum, Grandma, Sister...

They always ask if I'm dating someone. My response is always, "I let girls come and go as they please, if they want to stay, I let them." I play it off like I'm giving the choice to the girls I'm seeing. As though, I'm waiting for a girl who really wants me and will stick around. Essentially, I take the blame away from myself and put it on "hookup culture." My family all accept this.

Note that my family know I'm seeing many girls—they can't not know as they are nosy and like to stick their noses in my dating life. But I never tell them about any girls or dates, I just say a version of that sentence and then tell them about work or about some funny event I saw.

Men in my family

Brother. Dad. Uncle. Granddad.

They mostly keep their nose out of my business. My guess is that they don't have the guts to ask me about my dating life. All of them are married/engaged and living a remarkably beta lifestyle. It is the women who are in control in my family, so provided I keep the women happy, the men are happy by passivity.

Male Mates

Only other men who are living similarly. It's hard to find these types of people. They are few and far between. But with the few mates I do have who are in this lifestyle, we talk about everything. I love these relationships the most.

Regarding other men, I keep my mouth shut. I don't mention my girls. I either avoid talking to them completely or if I absolutely must talk to them, which, when I do, is usually a complete bore and I feel like I'd rather listen to nails against a chalk board... I turn the conversation to them and their life, because if a person is focused on talking about his problems, he's not listening to mine, and that's a good thing. In addition, if you tell him anything, he'll find a way to twist it, turn it into a rumor and then cause you an issue.