"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Plate got spun...

Hyper2010

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Advice anyone?

Been spinning a POF girl now for 2 weeks, exchanges numbers, texting etc.

Arranged a meal for this coming wednesday afternoon for a first date at local eatery

Turns out she went out on Fri night to club and had one night stand

I know she's single so she can do what the hell she wants but a certain alarm bell is going off in my head, especially when DumbaZs here is organizing a meal for us, booking cabs in advance etc and she's out getting slottage

Instant dump on grounds of lack of loyalty or integrity?

Or accept this as normal behaviour?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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foreverAFC

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another low interest ho, no more dates or dinners, she only comes over for sex, maybe you will give her a few beers from your 24 pack to loosen her up when she comes over but thats it
 
B

BeDJ

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Hyper2010 said:
Arranged a meal for this coming wednesday afternoon for a first date at local eatery

Turns out she went out on Fri night to club and had one night stand
You've been around here long enough to not invest in something that others get for free. I've never witnessed another blantant alpha fvcks beta bucks example.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Danger said:
Additionally, if you don't get any on the first night, dump it and never look back.
Are you referring to this specific girl or in general?

In either case most women are capable of having a ONS when the conditions are right.

This chick has super low interest from the mere fact that she told the OP about it.

If you are implying that guys in general should drop a chick if they don't bang her on the first night, then I def disagree with you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about banging a chick as quick as possible, using low investment get together ideas etc; but don't drop a chick after the first date if you don't bang her.

In many of those cases, its the man's lack of confidence/game that prevent the closing, rather than the girl being against the idea.









PIMP
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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plate's_empty

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How did you know she had a ONS??

Did she tell you? That's really strange. Was it a **** test to see how you'd react? Either way, the fact that she told you would be a red flag to me. Maybe she's just letting you know she wants to get pumped and dumped, or she's just a head case that wants to fvck with you. POF...not surprised.

Either way, I never do dinners on the first date. Especially someone from online dating....and Especially someone from POF. I say a drink or coffee. Then if she looks like her pictures and she's showered that day and we're hitting it off, we can continue the date, get more drinks, go for a walk, whatever. Dinners need to be earned.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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BeginningDJ said:
You've been around here long enough to not invest in something that others get for free. I've never witnessed another blantant alpha fvcks beta bucks example.
Alpha? She got drunk and fuvked the most attractive dude that hit on her.

This issue is not one of beta versus alpha.

It is an issue of a wh0re and the clueless.
 

Hyper2010

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TillTheEndOfTime said:
Alpha? She got drunk and fuvked the most attractive dude that hit on her.

This issue is not one of beta versus alpha.

It is an issue of a wh0re and the clueless.
I'd tend to agree. She acted from being willing to settle for what she could get rather than being able to have her choice
 

Zarky

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^^^^ Sorry man, I'm not buying this story unless you tell us just how it came about that she told you about it. That's the strangest part of your entire tale -- that you know about it. Unless you found out through other sources.

Second, 2 weeks without even seeing her? I set up a date as soon as possible online before texting at all.

Third, I can't imagine any dude who would consider taking a chick out to dinner (in the afternoon?) after she told you that she had a ONS with somebody. The immediate normal reaction from a man would be to invite her over for sex and nothing more.

How many times do I have to tell you guys: There is one, and only one, appropriate first date for POF (and OKC) girls: drinks then sex. That's it. Anything else and you're playing the fool.
 

Hyper2010

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I'd found out through facebook.. one of her status was that she had a good night out and had loads of fun ;) ;) ....I then non challengingly questioned it and she admitted it through text

Think I may avoid this one altogether though, shed told me she worked in beauty a while back, which I found out is a beauty course at college, and she hasn't had a job in 7 years

Comes with free complimentary 8 yr old son as well
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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plate's_empty

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I just read that other, thread about your LTR going to club and her leaving you home to watch the kid, who in turn $hit the bed.

Dude. If you're not a troll....you've either had some really bad luck, or are a self-masochist who likes putting himself in these screwed up situations. Either way, you're working on it, which is good.

BTW: your LTR, don't know the whole situation but she seems like a horrible mother, hope you didn't take it out on the kid.



On a side note: This is why a credit card system would work. Keep trolls off for the most part, and there wouldn't be question about it. $3/month. Like a co-pay at the hospital, keeps people from going in for a runny nose.
 
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