Plate #1 crashes off the table

[MOTU]

So as expected, plate #1, as described in this thread, crashed tonight. Started asking me questions about other women. Wouldn't stop. So I told her the truth. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". She didn't name call or anything directly disrespectful but she cussed and cried and spewed forth emotion.

I have to tell you, this is hard for me. I feel badly for her, she seems genuinely hurt. But in fairness: I never lied to her, I didn't pretend to want more than I really did. She just fell hard and fast.

I probably shouldn't have stayed on the phone with her. She was having an effect on my and I almost went AFC and told her I would see only her. But I didn't.

I could sense this coming. Next time, when I know the plate is gonna spin out I am gonna take it off the table first.

So what have I learned from plate #1:
1) don't put plates on your fb. That was a bad move on my part for sure.
2) if you know a plate is slowing down toward a crash, get out early. In sales school we teach "if you are going to die, die fast". Truth.
3) I can't be responsible for how someone else feels. I didn't lie or manipulate, she came to me and chased me. I need to internalize this.
4) Though I still have some physical improvement left to do, I have some traits, and resources, that are very desirable to women. I need to guard myself.

Anywhoo, I fvcked a chick from my social circle saturday night and have 2 more plates stacked on the table I am working on spinning up. The game can be rough, I guess I'll get used to it eventually.

 

[Tictac]

This happens a lot. But, you were true to both yourself and her here.

It's been a while for me on this. But, a few times, they call back - sometimes butt-hurt and manipulative, sometimes not.

You did this right. Too bad about the plate. But... that's why these things have numbers.

 

[ositosucio]

im on the same boat.

Spinning 3 plates and they are all about to crash at the same time.

They all want commitment and more time together.

It can be hard and feeling bad afterwards in unavoidable.

 

[Greasy Pig]

As long as you're honest with plates and can look yourself in the eye each morning, just shrug your shoulders and move in.
The thing about plates is they either keep spinning or - unless you grab hold of them - they will spin off and crash.

I'd rather be honest and lose a lay than falsely stroke some slvt's who just so she'll keep banging.
Good job.

 

[Outlaw_]

I understand what you guys are saying about being honest, but my question is do you really have to tell them the full truth of the situation? I don't really think you do.

IMO, the OP could've avoided a big crash by simply telling her, "Listen, if you are looking to be exclusive right now, then I'm not your guy".

All the other stuff is just giving her emotional drama seeking ego fuel to get fed. I have done what you've done & it's horrible. It makes her feel bad & unless you are just ice cold, it makes you feel bad. I stopped with the full disclosure & started telling them I'm not looking to be monogamous right now. Or something to that effect.

It's just another way you may want to approach the situation OP.

 

[MOTU]

Outlaw, good point. I had been doing the side-step thing for a couple weeks, and she had enough. She was very persistent. She even said "you are not answering my question" so I think she knew the answer already.

So funny thing is this week she has been back after me. Texting things like "I wish you would realize that you miss me and just be my boyfriend". I have just gone nc, I am pretty sure I could bang her some more but it would just end up in a repeat of last wknds crash. I don't want to hurt her needlessly.

Plate #2 doesn't ask questions at all and the othe two on the table that I am trying to get spinning seem chill so far as well.

 

[Outlaw_]

Well, I used to specialize in plate-spinning and now I don't have time nor energy for it. Good way to handle her. I'd say, don't fvck her anymore. She is way too needy & may show up on you crashing the rest of your plates...even the ones on the table.