Planning that second date

[thirdtimescharm]

So I know one of the cardinal rules around here is that you never plan a second date before the first date is over. So I want to see if this qualifies as a reason to break the rules...

At the end of a first date where everything went really well, lots of commonalities, some great sexual innuendo, and me giving her a backrub because she was feeling ill, on the way home, she mentions a movie she wants to see and then adds that she was going to cancel the date when she called me earlier today, but didn't because my offer to make her soup sounded too good to pass up, and says she's free Saturday.

So was I supposed to ignore the request to give her the impression that I had other stuff to do and wait to see her again on my time, even though I would love to see her again when she is not sick, because she left the impression that I'd get to see a lot more of her? She really was sick...she was getting worse as the night went on.

 

[jophil28]

So I know one of the cardinal rules around here is that you never plan a second date before the first date is over. So I want to see if this qualifies as a reason to break the rules...

At the end of a first date where everything went really well, lots of commonalities, some great sexual innuendo, and me giving her a backrub because she was feeling ill, on the way home, she mentions a movie she wants to see and then adds that she was going to cancel the date when she called me earlier today, but didn't because my offer to make her soup sounded too good to pass up, and says she's free Saturday.

So was I supposed to ignore the request to give her the impression that I had other stuff to do and wait to see her again on my time, even though I would love to see her again when she is not sick, because she left the impression that I'd get to see a lot more of her? She really was sick...she was getting worse as the night went on.

Not quite sure of what advice you want on this one.
Perhaps this may help - call her on the phone and say.
" Be ready at 7pm We are going to see that movie. "
Make a little small talk and hang up a few minutes later.
Easy. The key is confident LEADERSHIP ..

( In spite of all the "advice" that you will read which talks about how to raise her IL and how to play hard to get ..blah blah, just take the lead and forget the mindgames. They do not really work in the long term. Their main purpose is to sell ebooks and Cds and get you to pay $$K to go to seminars.)

 

[thirdtimescharm]

My bad...I wasn't looking for advice...just wondering if the situation warranted breaking the "rules." We already have a plan to go out Saturday.

( In spite of all the "advice" that you will read which talks about how to raise her IL and how to play hard to get ..blah blah, just take the lead and forget the mindgames. They do not really work in the long term. Their main purpose is to sell ebooks and Cds and get you to pay $$K to go to seminars.)

I'm with you on this one. There is little or nothing that the "gurus" can sell me that I can't learn on my own.

 

[jophil28]

Ditto post.

 

[jophil28]

My bad...I wasn't looking for advice...just wondering if the situation warranted breaking the "rules." We already have a plan to go out Saturday.

The "rules" do not exist as such. There is no SOP or "manual" on this stuff inspite of all the gurus huffing and puffing. There are just general guidelines.
Secondly it is OK to be looking forward to seeing a girl Saturday night. It is certainly OK to make going out with her you FIRST priority. It is OK to be OK with getting exciting about dating a particular girl. Women do like guys who like them, provided you have the confidence to lead her.. Be careful of the "be cool and uninterested " advice - it does NOT draw women to you, WHy? because you have not created anything yet with her that she VALUES. You have to CONNECT with and INVEST in a woman and only then do you have something to shape and steer,and only then do you have that "thing" that she will want more of and come back for.

Show some INTEREST in her without coming off as desperate or needy. The balance is the KEY.

 

[MacAvoy]

Jophil is right. They aren't really rules, they are guidelines. The whole reason behind not setting up a date, is to make her think, does he like me, is he interested in me, so when she does this thinking about you, it raises her IL, however this women is already displaying high IL and wants to see you again, so setting up the 2nd date is fine.

However don't make it a habbit, don't be too readily available.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

However don't make it a habbit, don't be too readily available.

Cool. I don't have to worry about that just yet. Three other plates still vying for some time...but I might have to cut one loose.

 

[Juando]

You got some excellent, cogent and terse advice.

Oh, you don't want advice, ok.

I am on the AFC skin-shedding path myself and I'm finding that the down to earth common sense perspective that Jophil and other wise men possess resonates with me.

Much dj wisdom is bullseye material that many of us wish we had earlier on and I'm still experimenting with it, which is often fun. Some of the experimenting I do consists of taking the core or some aspect of the dj wisdom and melding it with my own personality and take on things.

It's like cooking in the sense that when you are learning a new dish or cuisine you can either follow the recipe exactly to be safe or, like I do, take "liberties", sometimes with disastrous results and other times with awesome results.

It's great to have this forum no matter the approach, no?

I know that I'm generalizing but you already got good "advice" and reading the thread prompted me to put forward my perspective.

Enjoy her!

 

[thirdtimescharm]

You got some excellent, cogent and terse advice.

Oh, you don't want advice, ok.

I am on the AFC skin-shedding path myself and I'm finding that the down to earth common sense perspective that Jophil and other wise men possess resonates with me.

Much dj wisdom is bullseye material that many of us wish we had earlier on and I'm still experimenting with it, which is often fun. Some of the experimenting I do consists of taking the core or some aspect of the dj wisdom and melding it with my own personality and take on things.

It's like cooking in the sense that when you are learning a new dish or cuisine you can either follow the recipe exactly to be safe or, like I do, take "liberties", sometimes with disastrous results and other times with awesome results.

It's great to have this forum no matter the approach, no?

I know that I'm generalizing but you already got good "advice" and reading the thread prompted me to put forward my perspective.

Enjoy her!

There is no doubt I have learned much through reading this forum, and I am eternally thankful for that.