"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Places to have sex in a car

honi1

Don Juan
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I own a mini van so naturally i want to have sex in .(1999 Dodge Grand caravan ) But, I can't seem to find any particular places to park my car when i wanna do it in the back seat. I've tried a local park near by but i gotten bothered by the cops at least two times. They usually just say "this is not your personal motel." and then kick us out.

Any places anyone knows of place that are more secluded?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Five To One

Senior Don Juan
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hello, fellow van driver here.

You gotta scope out your town. And I literary mean scope it out. Tonight, once it gets dark, drive around town and find some low key places.

I use the local baseball fields in my town, its a bit out in the country, about five minutes from my house.


Haha but you have had some run-in with the cops? that sucks. Never happened to me before
 

Darth_Qurashi

Don Juan
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be very careful man. i mean like, sure, sounds fun, sex in a car, alone, in the wilderness, but that's exactly how horror movies start.
 

ChapStick

Senior Don Juan
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Haha, man I wish I had a minivan to have sex in. Instead, I'm stuck having sex in a 2 door muscle car. Bring towels and water cuz you're gonna get thirsty and you're gonna need a towel for the chick and another towel for the windows of your car when they fog up. I've had plenty of encounters with the cops when having sex in a car. lol I have some funny stories to tell.

if you have orchards anywhere, drive your car there and try there at night. Doesn't hurt to go for a quickie during the day if you're up for it either though. make sure you keep your shirt on so in case someone comes you can have your boxers nearby and slip em on. lol

Having a house to have sex in is just amazing. Showering with your chick is amazing as well!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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