"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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pissed off at situation

crossedup

Don Juan
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Im a little drunk and want to rant about some sh*t.

My buddy tonight asked if I wanted to hit up the bars to hang out with a girl and some of her friends for her birthday. I said sure, good opportunity to meet some women, relax, and have fun. When I arrive there are f*cking 6 dudes around a table cutting off their ****s for 2 girls. Wtf! So my odds of scoring or anything really just went down the drain.

The worst part is the neediness and attention these guys show when they are talking to these girls. They will ignore the other guys and focus entirely on the girls. of course these girls eat it all up, laughing and ego boosting and all that. Then no one goes home with them.

So I ask my buddy what the deal was and he says both of those girls have boyfriends, and their boyfriends weren't even f*cking there! Probably f*cking them right now laughing at these other chodes.

Funny thing is, this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. I know I gotta make the most of Saturday night, but it seems like such a waste when this sh*t happens. When are there gonna be 2 dudes surrounded by 6 girls, with the girls looking for approval??? I don't like to work this hard to get some tail, because I feel like I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to beat out 6 other guys for a couple b*tches that are taken.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Three

Don Juan
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Yeah, that kind of situation sucks. A couple observations:

A more constructive way to view things may be to not be so outcome dependent. Look at it as a way to network and have fun without setting yourself up by going in there with the attitude that anything less than getting a girl is failure.

Your goal should be to have fun regardless of the situation. Placing too much importance on this one night is a recipe for failure. You'll subconsciously project your desperation and it will scare off girls and any opportunities that might have come up.

Another way to deal with a situation like that is to use it as a jumping off point. Take your time to roam around the bar a bit and talk to people. If it's really more of a restaurant, make an excuse to move to the bar area and hang out there. You could also suggest the whole group go to another venue that's more conducive to meeting women.

You can still make something like this fun by negging the girls that are there, the waitress, your chode buddy, etc. Have a little fun with them and maybe you'll find yourself kicking up sparks with the girls. That could lead to something in the future or get you invited to other, better gatherings that will expand your social circle.
 

oxford comma

Don Juan
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Three said:
Yeah, that kind of situation sucks. A couple observations:

A more constructive way to view things may be to not be so outcome dependent. Look at it as a way to network and have fun without setting yourself up by going in there with the attitude that anything less than getting a girl is failure.

Your goal should be to have fun regardless of the situation. Placing too much importance on this one night is a recipe for failure. You'll subconsciously project your desperation and it will scare off girls and any opportunities that might have come up.

Another way to deal with a situation like that is to use it as a jumping off point. Take your time to roam around the bar a bit and talk to people. If it's really more of a restaurant, make an excuse to move to the bar area and hang out there. You could also suggest the whole group go to another venue that's more conducive to meeting women.

You can still make something like this fun by negging the girls that are there, the waitress, your chode buddy, etc. Have a little fun with them and maybe you'll find yourself kicking up sparks with the girls. That could lead to something in the future or get you invited to other, better gatherings that will expand your social circle.

totally agree. op, its your fault for not having fun, NOT theres. besides, no one was stopping you from talking to other girls at the bar. you should have been having fun at your table and then carried that fun over to other people in the bar. be the party bro, dont look for it.
 

Mike32ct

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I agree with the "jumping off" point. Since you had a home base to return to, you could have approached other girls at the bar.

As for the two girls at your table, they were a lost cause. These guys proabably thought they had a chance because the girls were "friendly" to them. Haha.

The most friendly women are usually taken. They don't have their guards up or not as much because they know they aren't going to do anything with you. The cold b*tch is usually the single one lol. (Whether the b*tchiness or being single came first is a chicken and egg question lol.)

Or just leave early and go out alone somewhere else. Or text another buddy and go out with him.
 

crossedup

Don Juan
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Being drunk last night had something to do with all that negativity, I'm upset I let this get to me so much. I was doing pretty well with the situation the first couple hours (engaging the guys in small talk, teasing the girls, etc...), but when all they want to do is sit around a table and talk for 4 hours, I just got f*cking bored and watched sportscenter (sportsbar).

You guys gave good advice, they shouldn't have to cater to me or bring me fun, I gotta bring it myself by moving around the bar or finding fun elsewhere, bur by that time I was too tired and lets face it, I f*cking hate doing that. As a natural introvert, I get bored by these situations more than anything, and would rather be out doing something productive. I don't understand how people can talk for 4 hours and continue to have all this energy.

Ultimately, I should have cut my losses much sooner and moved on.

Mike, like your sig btw, I used to have trouble with those ones haha
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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