Picking up hot bartender, help

[pyros]

Hello.

There is this 30 years old HB8.5 called Sarah that works as a bartender in a club where I go to learn salsa.
Tonight I went there and after the lesson, I was talking to a girl I know from there which is a cute 32 yo woman lets call her Christina, we always tease each other and laugh.

Some weeks ago I started to talk to Sarah in a fun way, she laughed at my jokes etc but did not talk much because she always looks so serious.
On the following times I talked to her (always for 1-2mins) she was eating some candy and she shared it with me in two occasions, and I thought she may like me but I was not sure.
Some days later I added her on my FB, wrote some comment on a picture of her and she liked it.
Next time I saw her, she lookd at me from the bar and I waved hello to her, to which she replied:
'you are just gonna say hello from there?' (suggesting I should go to her and give her two kisses, here is the common thing to do). I smiled and kept talking to my friends. THen she passed by me with some drinks, and then I gave her two kisses and we talked a little bit for two mins or so.
Christina was there also and said:
'hey you two...something is going on here...'

Here comes the important part:

Tonight after the lesson Christina was talking to Sarah and I joined them doing a little joke, and then....Christina said:
Christina: see? this guy is awesome, he's very funy and charming, he's the right boyfriend for you Sarah.
Sarah looked at me and blushed.
Me (I blushed also): well..., hahah, you're like my grandma, you sell me so well.
Christina: its true, you two have chemistry I can see it.
Sarah: I even shared my candy with him twice but he..
Me: oh well
Sarah: I have some candy today too, you want some?
Me: er? well, yeah ok
(she gave me the candy in a little bag, and went to give a drink to a customer)
Me: well Christina, but are you two good friends?
Christina: not really, we're just kind of friends because we work here together.
Me: so you dont really know her very well?
Christina: she's great Im telling you; besides some days ago we were talking about guys and about how difficult it is to find a good guy younger than 30, because when men get old they treat you nicer but when they are young many of them are *******s.
Me: hehe...well I have to go now, see you. Bye Sarah! I'll keep this candy with all my love.
Sarah: hehe, ok.


It was a shock that Christina tried to get us together, so I did not know how to react really, I did not want to inmediately jump and ask her out looking desperate.
Now with hindsight I should have just got her number at the end and suggest to go grab a drink but I did not.
This girl Sarah is so hot really, I feel very stupid now. I feel she kind of likes me as well, but just because she's the barmaid and we did not talk much, and she's a bit older than me, I did not even think about asking her out, but now that the occasion presented itself I'd like to!


What do I do now guys? Im thinking that next time I see Sarah, Im gonna tell her that last week I went out with a girl two times, but I do not feel chemistry so Im not calling her again, and then get Sara's number and suggest to go have a drink sometime.

Any other ideas?
Tips?


Thanks!

P.S.
They are now probably thinking that I either do not like Sarah, Im stupid, or Im seing some other girl, so I want to fix this.

 

[bigneil]

At first it sounded like the run of the mill faux bartender routine, but if she has mentioned you to her friends in a romantic way then it's almost guaranteed you'll get a date - ASSUMING you don't blow it by waiting any longer. What are you waiting for?

And don't ask for a date. Tell her to write her number down. Just hand her your phone. Then tell her where you are going to be going and that maybe she'd like to join you. Then go with or without her.

You should only tell them about other women if they ask, or if they make fun of you for nto being married or something. Avoid volunteering it. It's better to have a girl who you don't tell her about than to not have one who you do tell her about.

 

[pyros]

Hello bigneil,

next friday I have my salsa lesson again, so I should go there, talk to Sarah (bartender), ask her to put her number in my phone and ask her to join me to go to 'x' place at 'y' time?

But if I tell her to join me at X place at Y time, I do not understand it, the chance that she may not be free to follow my suggestion is pretty high, dont you think?
wouldnt it be better just to get her number, ask her working schedule, tell her mine, and then text her some days later to see if we can meet on Saturday or Sunday to go to X pub? or something like this?

P.S.
I was thinking about suggesting to go to the beach Saturday or Sunday to grab a beer after lunch.

Thanks.

 

[Kbomb]

Hello bigneil,

next friday I have my salsa lesson again, so I should go there, talk to Sarah (bartender), ask her to put her number in my phone and ask her to join me to go to 'x' place at 'y' time?

But if I tell her to join me at X place at Y time, I do not understand it, the chance that she may not be free to follow my suggestion is pretty high, dont you think?
wouldnt it be better just to get her number, ask her working schedule, tell her mine, and then text her some days later to see if we can meet on Saturday or Sunday to go to X pub? or something like this?

P.S.
I was thinking about suggesting to go to the beach Saturday or Sunday to grab a beer after lunch.

Thanks.

nah, its a classic mistake to try to set something up. Its awkward and it isn't attractive. If she has high IL because you played it right, she will make the effort.

you must also realize while she was complaining about *******s, it doesn't mean she isn't banging a few, especially if she is attractive. So always be aware that you can be relegated to third option/friendzone and at worst ignore list if you end up turning this girl off.

 

[bigneil]

Hello bigneil,

next friday I have my salsa lesson again, so I should go there, talk to Sarah (bartender), ask her to put her number in my phone and ask her to join me to go to 'x' place at 'y' time?
Thanks.

Yes, but it's two separate things. 1) Get her to put her number in your phone. Then, assuming she does, 2) offer a particular event and/or time and see if she either accepts or offers a rain check, which she will if she's interested.

 

[pyros]

Hi.
So yesterday I went to this academy/pub again. I saw Sarah waved hello, and she came to give me two kisses. Since she was working and the pub was pretty crowded, I said to her:
me: hey, Im sending you a facebook message tomorrow so have a look at it.
her: oh, I do not use facebook really...but if you're sending me a message Ill have a look at it.
me: ok, well, I would ask for your number but since you're working it may be inapropiate
her: yeah, well, just come here after your salsa lesson and Ill give it to you.

Then, after my lesson I went again, still the pub crowded, she was serving drinks, so when I looked at her she said:
her: Ill write you my number on facebook ok?
me: ok, see you.


I was expecting her to send me a message on fb today with her number, but she has not.
Do I send her a message asking for the number or do I just wait?
I understood that she would send me a message, but she may have understood that she would reply to MY message?


Thanks.

 

[bigneil]

me: ok, well, I would ask for your number but since you're working it may be inapropiate

Translation: I would ask for your number but since I'm such a wimp I may destroy your attraction before I ever get it.

F*ck inappropriate. That line came off as hesitation, and he who hesitates is lost. Venus favors the bold.

Also, they don't "forget" details about someone they have high interest in. In fact, you should intentionally test her to see if she does, and next her if so.

 

[pyros]

bigneil man,
I was gonna get the number but since she was working, it was crowded, her boss was overthere etc, there was no time to hand her my phone and input her number, or ask for it and type it in myself, so I just quickly said to her that I would send her a fb message.

So you mean I should not send her any message and just wait to see if she actually does write to me? I get your point but,

Would it be so bad if I sent her a fb message tomorrow?
I mean being persistent VS desperate it clear, im not desperate, I can send her a message, see if she replies, if she does, ask to meet, if she agrees then meet, etc, so shouldnt I initiate? maybe she's wondering why I did not send her any fb message today?

 

[gradhodude]

You are thinking WAYYYYYYYYYY too much. If you like her send her a message or better yet stop by the Pub for a drink and ask her out.

REMEMBER woman are very very flakey and her saying she will send her number via Facebook has about a 5% chance of happening. She even mentioned that she doesn't use facebook. You need to initiate the number grab and take her out before it's too late.

 

[Zarky]

I agree with bigneil in all his posts in this thread. I would also venture to say that it sounds like you're being set up to be the "nice guy" in this situation. ie., she's banged a ton of "jerks" but you come off as such a sweety that her friend wants her to start dating you. This generally works out bad for the nice guy.