Picking up girls at their workplace

[FlexpertHamilton]

So I have general story I'd like to share that has some insights as well as questions.

A few weeks ago I went to a local coffee shop and I met this cute barista who works there. The interaction was quite brief but we chatted a bit and I could tell she interested if not intruiged.

I went there again tonight when it was much busier, and noticed there were ONLY men inside, many of which were sitting at the bar stools chatting with her in a rotation. I very quickly got the impression she was friendly with most of the guys there, she had a very laid back vibe so I'm sure I wasn't the only guy who thought could make something happen with her.

After a few of the guys left I moved to the bar area to finish my drink and chat with her a bit more. Definitely noticed more of the same IOIs as the first time but it didn't take long before another dude from earlier started talking to her. As soon as I finished my drink I set it on the counter and left without saying anything (mainly b/c the guy was running his mouth nonstop and there wasn't a window to say much else). As I was leaving she said "Bye FlexpertHamilton!" which I returned in a friendly tone. I wasn't butthurt or anything but I had been going for a run and didn't bring anything to do, so I had no interest in sticking around.

I found the whole experience rather interesting though. I know a lot of guys talk about how they can't tell if a girl is flirting with them or "friendly" like that to everyone, especially when talking to any female employee that accepts tips. However, if there's one thing I'm good at its telling the difference between genuine interest and "friendliness" for lack of a better term. She was actually one of the first girls in a looong time to make me feel something. Had a certain aura about her, can't really explain it. And very attractive.

Anyway...what are your experiences with situations like this? Do you find it best to play it slow? Do you sit back and let her chase and trust yourself to stand out from the typical thirsty guys that these types of women are used to? I have always found it a bit peculiar to pickup girls at their job because they have to talk to you and can't escape, so it feels really.... cheap, for a lack of a better word. It seems to me like the best approach is a slow burn of building intrigue and not being so thirsty, letting them chase you.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I very quickly got the impression she was friendly with most of the guys there

Well it is her job to be friendly with paying customers

Anyway...what are your experiences with situations like this? Do you find it best to play it slow?

Yes play it slow, become a regular customer. Look up the mere exposure effect and propinquity.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Well it is her job to be friendly with paying customers

By "friendly" i meant in the same way that a stripper is "friendly" with customers, that psuedo flirty way.

 

[SW15]

I generally advise against doing this. It's not putting you in the best possible situation to succeed.

I started a thread about this as well last summer.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Robert28]

The problem with establishing a “regular customer” relationship with one girl is that’s an expensive proposition. Between visits and tips you’re spending money to get to know a girl that you aren’t even on a date with. In my experience bartender women don’t have some magical *****, trust me. It’s fine to flirt with bartenders and all but it’s a lot of work and effort to put in, plus the competition is insane and in all likelihood they’re banging a fellow bartender, the cook in the back or the boss that owns the place anyways.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’ve gotten lots of dates from girls at the workplace. I understand girls are supposed to be friendly to customers. However, there’s a point where she (if she is interested) goes above & beyond her work duties.
Often, she’ll ask leading questions about what I’m doing on the weekend. Or after work. In general, if she has an interest that seems to go beyond here & now.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The problem with establishing a “regular customer” relationship with one girl is that’s an expensive proposition. Between visits and tips you’re spending money to get to know a girl that you aren’t even on a date with. In my experience bartender women don’t have some magical *****, trust me. It’s fine to flirt with bartenders and all but it’s a lot of work and effort to put in, plus the competition is insane and in all likelihood they’re banging a fellow bartender, the cook in the back or the boss that owns the place anyways.

a) I don't tip and its within walking distance
b) It's a place I've been going to for years that I rather enjoy b/c they have kava which I can't find anywhere else.

Also she's a barista not a bartender but yeah I get your point for situations like this. Normally I would avoid it completely.

 

[Robert28]

a) I don't tip and its within walking distance
b) It's a place I've been going to for years that I rather enjoy b/c they have kava which I can't find anywhere else.

Also she's a barista not a bartender but yeah I get your point for situations like this. Normally I would avoid it completely.

I mean definitely keep going to talk to her, just for the sheer practice and if something comes out of it then good. Just don’t go putting all your eggs into this basket.