"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Phrases women use to shame men

El Payaso

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I saw a poster of a fat woman with belly rolls and it read "Real men will love every inch". It got me thinking of phrases that women use to either shame men into submission or make them fall in line.

1) A real man would... (I will attack your ego to make you do what I want)

2) What if it was your mother or sister... (I have no other argument so I will charge you with being a misogynist)

3) Creep. (I don't find you attractive)

4) Not all women are like that. (I want to maintain the illusion of a unicorn)

5) You must have a small penis. (See 3)

6) I bet you never get laid. (See 3)

7) You're commitment-phobic. (I hate when men get pu$$y without being tied down)

8) You're so mean! (You just said the truth and it hurts)

9) You sound like the KKK/extremist/alt right/right wing whackos/etc (You're not falling in line with my feminine imperative so I will shame you and attempt to ostracize you)

10) You're just afraid of a strong woman. (I'm a shrill nagging woman and I want you to be quiet while I bite your head off)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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taiyuu_otoko

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There's a technique from the book "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" (how to be more assertive) called "fogging." A metaphorical thick blanket of fog you surround yourself with the slows down the shaming attempts.

Respond to every one of those with:

"Hmm. Maybe you're right" with as little thought as possible.

The impulse is to flip the statement around somehow, but that's a demonstration that SHE controls your emotions, even if your language defeats hers. The emotional energy is still there, which is what she wants. PROOF that SHE can get any kind of reaction. Being UNABLE to move your emotionally is is one her biggest fears, as that indicates you don't care at all about her, one way or the other. SHE is emotionally invested, but YOU are indifferent.

So when you say, "Hmm, maybe you're right" with one or two hearbeats worth of thought, and then DROP IT COMPLETELY, she'll have no idea what just happened.

Your behavior naturally has to be congruent as well, ambivalent to her behavior. (e.g, continue with whatever you were doing as if she weren't there).
 

taiyuu_otoko

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She will continue the pressure.. submissive girls won't do this but controlling manipulative ones will. If she continues to pressure you, get out. You cannot change her behavior. She will always be like this.
None of this is meant to change her behavior. The whole point is to ignore her behavior. If that means getting out, then get out. No manipulation works if you ignore the person and the behavior.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Then why bother saying anything? Just ignore and get out.
Because the world is filled with girls that are halfway between purely submissive and purely manipulative. If you bail at the first sign of ANY manipulation, you'll be lonely. But if you FOG with all manipulation, (from men and women) as a general strategy, they'll eventually filter themselves out.
 

Urbanyst

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None of this matters unless you actually plan to change your behavior based on things women tell you.

Guys who would change their behavior over this stuff are clearly desperate.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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9) You sound like the KKK/extremist/alt right/right wing whackos/etc (You're not falling in line with my feminine imperative so I will shame you and attempt to ostracize you)
I think you should change it to 'feminist' instead of 'feminine' because feminism is what destroyed true femininity.
 

Glassguy

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I like when they don't hear me when I tell them I don't want anything serious, just a fwb. Later on they act like a victim and say....

"I thought you were different ". My standard response is: "I am. I was honest with you from the start".
 
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