"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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photos

joekerr31

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just wondering, anyone here take bad photos.

maybe im the only one, or perhaps im kidding myself, but i think i look like CRAP in photos. yet in the mirror i look pretty good.

perhaps i have that body image disorder or something.

maybe some of you have the opposite problem - you look better in photos than in real life.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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STR8UP

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I take my camera with me every time I go out. I'm the exact same way.

Every now and then the camera catches my good side, so I have a few really good ones, but I would say that 90% of my pics look like crap. And I'm no Greek god or anything, but I also think I look much better in real life.

Some people are photogenic. I'm not one of them.
 

Cesare Cardinali

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ok, just because you're over 25 doesn't mean every post goes in the mature man forum.
 

STR8UP

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Cesare Cardinali said:
ok, just because you're over 25 doesn't mean every post goes in the mature man forum.
Yea, but the quality of posts is SOOOO much better there!

And I even considered interjecting some stuff about chicks just so it wouldn't get moved...lol
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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theunflushables

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Yep, same thing here. I am a complete narcissist when it comes to a mirror but I see a photo of myself and I'm repulsed.
 

sparky0000

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Trust me, most of you are better looking than the chubs you are chasing after. A trip to any mall in America will show you that. I have no interest in the chubs you chase after so I can see things from a different angle. I don't toss out many compliments so you had better take this one.

The mature man forum is a joke. Over 25 mature? Please. Maturity is not a number. I could take you places where 16 year old girls are many times more mature than the average 30 year old American woman. The mature man forum is so depressing. It proves my point that most people want to feel bad about themselves.
 

Quiksilver

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Is it just me, or is sparky00000 officially THE funniest guy on the forums?

Every post he writes makes me crack up, even though they're all essentially the same post paraphrased over and over.
 

darkstarrr

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Heart Break Kid said:
Good one--^

Get a camera with the 10-shot setting. Its great because it snaps 10 shots in a matter of seconds. That solves a variety of problems (people blinking, etc) and at the end of the day (I know some of you love that expression so I threw it in there just for you) you will have say 500 pics and 15 of them will be perfect!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Deep Dish

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joekerr31 said:
maybe im the only one, or perhaps im kidding myself, but i think i look like CRAP in photos. yet in the mirror i look pretty good.
Just yesterday I read this article in Scientific American which tries to explain why.
In fact, findings from a recent study by Nicholas Epley and Erin Whitchurch suggest that most people unconsciously overinflate their own physical appearance. In a well-controlled series of experiments published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Epley and Whitchurch took photos of undergraduate students with a neutral facial expression, invited these same students back to the laboratory two to four weeks later, and simply asked them to identify their actual face out of an assortment of eleven possible images. But here's the really clever part. These other images were in fact the actual face morphed to varying degrees with either an extremely attractive gender-matched composite face or unattractive targets suffering from craniofacial syndrome.

The results? On a variety of different measures, the participants were significantly more likely to choose a more attractive morphed face as being their actual face than even their nonmorphed actual face! The authors conclude, "It is perhaps of little wonder, then, that people so rarely seem to like the photographs taken of themselves. The image captured by the camera lens just doesn't match up to the image captured in the mind's eye."
(And yes, I look much better in the mirror than pictures.)
 

speakeasy

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I agree with the Scientific American article and that's what I've always theorized, that I have a better mental impression of the way I look than I actually have in reality. I hate most my pictures. Only occasionally will I see on that I think makes me look better than I think I look. I started really discovering this issue when I was putting up on online dating profile several years back and looking a good photo and I'm like "damn, I can't find a good one to put".

It's the same phenomena of why you never sound the way you think you do when you hear yourself on a recording.

And you don't even want to see what you would look like if you could have someone videotape your daily interactions with people. You'd instantly realize every flaw in your body language and posture.
 

02hero

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Maybe it's just because the image we see in the mirror is reversed. And the image we see in a photo is the correct way round?
 

wolf116

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speakeasy said:
And you don't even want to see what you would look like if you could have someone videotape your daily interactions with people. You'd instantly realize every flaw in your body language and posture.
I remember back in high school when I saw myself on video camera I wanted to commit suicide! It would show me just how awkward, ugly and monotone I really was.

Now the puberty years have passed I'm quite comfortable with it.


Tho I think it shows how good a video camera would be as a tool to improve your voice, posture, body language, content of speech etc.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Speculator E

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Read this:

The state of being photogenic may or may not necessarily be related to one's physical attractiveness in real life. Models are usually described as photogenic. The bone structure of their faces may represent something that is not generally pretty or may be even a little ugly or frail looking, but when they are photographed, their features can turn into something that is physically attractive.

There are a few different possible causes for this. First, it's important to understand the difference between looking at someone with two eyes as opposed to through a single camera lens. With two eyes, the human brain is able to see the three dimensional aspects of someone's face, even when viewed directly from the front, and it gives much more information than most cameras. With a camera, the subject is viewed through a single lens, and thus much of the three dimensional qualities of the face are lost, and the face may seem narrower, less full, or with different proportions, especially when viewed at a close proximity. An interesting effect can be seen if one compares a close up picture of someone's face to a picture taken from twenty feet away from the same angle (particularly while directly facing the camera). The face will appear different in each picture, and the farther shot will give a better representation of the person's true three dimensional appearance.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photogenic
 
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