"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Photos for dating?

MoreThanSmooth

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Hey fellas, just a quick question thread from me. What sort of photos do you like to go for when on Tinder/Bumble/OLD sites? And how do you actually go about getting a good source of photos?

Basically every bit of "advice" I've read online seems to be contradictory trash. One site will say "ALWAYS HAVE ANIMALS IN YOUR PHOTO" and the next will be "Animals in photos decrease matches by 30%."

I think I'm fortunate enough to be a reasonable looking lad and I'm in fair shape (not gym-freak huge or as lean as I want but I look fairly buff). It makes sense to me that I should be getting just as many matches as my mates, based off my pics. Nowhere near, though. Might be because I live out of town quite a way, but I'm fairly sure it's the photos I choose.

I'm not a narcissist so I don't take many photos of myself when I'm out places. Similarly, if I'm out with my friends, we're going to be drinking and chatting not taking cute photos of each other like a bunch of girls. I haven't travelled for years so I don't have any cool pictures of me doing hand-stands in front of the Taj Mahal or whatever.

That leaves me with a few mediocre pics of fairly boring outings or the option of taking cheesy selfies. I've tried Photofeeler to get a better answer from women and the results are usually bad. Often ~40% attractiveness, which seems appalling really but likely because some of them are selfies or awkwardly cropped.

If I go for an outdoors photo showing my body off a bit (tank top and shades) I get comments like "This guy looks arrogant". If I go for a pic of me smiling casually at a dinner I get "Great smile but this photo isn't sexy enough".

My normal smile that isn't a huge s***-eating grin is usually labelled as "seems a bit fake" or "smile seems a bit forced". Which is hilarious when my huge forced Cheshire-Cat psycho smile seems to get a more positive reception! :D

I've tried a smiling outdoor full body shot in good lighting at a sports stadium. Standard masculine hair cut. Described as "Bland environment." and "Would prefer a different hairstyle" (?!)

TL,DR:

Do your photos have to be absolutely exceptional and stunning pro photography level?

Do I have to be reclining topless (but not too topless!) witha lunatic's huge smile and soft focus in a Swedish Ski resort? Or am I overcomplicating and I just need a simple head shot with a blank background for my main pic?

Cheers chaps :)
 
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“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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MoreThanSmooth

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You don't have to go crazy with pro photos, just avoid selfies with your phone cam.

I use a good camera with a timer setting. My photos are cropped in so that my full body from the stomach up fills most of the frame of the picture. So background doesn't really matter too much.

I've used Photofeeler before and got a lot of the same comments. Don't take it too much to heart. If you're smiling and have a good "attractive" rating, you're good to go.

You don't need all the fancy travel and adventure pics. I have some but I don't always use them. Never seems to make a difference when I do. Don't use pics where you're too far from the camera. They want to see what you look like up close, not from 20 feet away. No shades. Show your face.

Forget animals and kids. It's overdone and just looks like appeasement.

I get tons of women initiating contact with OLD. I average about 15-20 women showing a clear interest per day (between 2 different sites) depending on the day of the week. I even leave the "about me" section blank most times and I rank about an 8 in looks with the photos I use. Nothing special or over the top. Simple, sharp, good looking and normal. All you need to convey.
Thanks dude, nice tips. Yeah, my Attractive rating is universally pants which is my main problem easily (forgot to add in post, most photos get to a measly 40% after a dozen votes). Trust and Smarts are always high, but that's not really what I want obviously.

I would just come to the conclusion that I'm uglier than my ego thinks I am (lol). But in RL women hit on me in student bars occasionally and I catch them looking and staring every now and then. So I'm still just holding out hope my photos are making me look like a weirdo 4/10 rather than my natural features ;)

I will try getting a tripod for my phone and setting up some simple, clear upper body shots like you suggested. At the moment my pics are definitely a little oddball (leather driving gloves with my mate taking a photo in my car...!)
 

RangerMIke

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Okay I can't help it I have to share a story.. first I am not recommending anyone do this, but my friend actual got some dates and is currently in a relationship with a woman that thought his picture was hilarious.

Anyway the guy is a stand-up comic. If you live in the US you may have heard of him, he isn't super famous, but he has been around since the late 80s.

Anyway, his agent is a short, fat, and bald dude, and one day he went over to his agent's house for a meeting and his agent was wearing a 'wife-beater' undershirt, stained with food on the front, had not shaved... was hung over in his boxer shorts. This is how he came to the door, and my friend took his picture, thinking he was going to use this in his act at some time but never did.

When my friend broke things off with his girl friend, he decided to give Tinder a try. He posted the photo of his fat, short, and bald agent wearing a white stained tank top in his boxers and the caption said. "The truth is you know I am the man you deserve."

He got all kinds of responses, and even some chicks that said they wanted to meet him only to slap him in the face. But a few got the joke and made dates, including his current girlfriend who totally gets and appreciates his sarcastic sense of humor.
 

derby1

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I would just come to the conclusion that I'm uglier than my ego thinks I am (lol). But in RL women hit on me in student bars
I have this problem when out women are highly attracted to me, behind a camera i must drop at least 2 points

Its like i know of lads who are like a cheese string in real life but behind a photo they look ripped ...go figure
 

Murk

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I use 3-4 pics, no selfies, one in a tux, one in a cool jacket, and my main one is from about 1/5 years ago and prob the best pic of me available right now.

Ensare them with great pics, win them over irl.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sosousage

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Hey fellas, just a quick question thread from me. What sort of photos do you like to go for when on Tinder/Bumble/OLD sites? And how do you actually go about getting a good source of photos?

Basically every bit of "advice" I've read online seems to be contradictory trash. One site will say "ALWAYS HAVE ANIMALS IN YOUR PHOTO" and the next will be "Animals in photos decrease matches by 30%."

I think I'm fortunate enough to be a reasonable looking lad and I'm in fair shape (not gym-freak huge or as lean as I want but I look fairly buff). It makes sense to me that I should be getting just as many matches as my mates, based off my pics. Nowhere near, though. Might be because I live out of town quite a way, but I'm fairly sure it's the photos I choose.

I'm not a narcissist so I don't take many photos of myself when I'm out places. Similarly, if I'm out with my friends, we're going to be drinking and chatting not taking cute photos of each other like a bunch of girls. I haven't travelled for years so I don't have any cool pictures of me doing hand-stands in front of the Taj Mahal or whatever.

That leaves me with a few mediocre pics of fairly boring outings or the option of taking cheesy selfies. I've tried Photofeeler to get a better answer from women and the results are usually bad. Often ~40% attractiveness, which seems appalling really but likely because some of them are selfies or awkwardly cropped.

If I go for an outdoors photo showing my body off a bit (tank top and shades) I get comments like "This guy looks arrogant". If I go for a pic of me smiling casually at a dinner I get "Great smile but this photo isn't sexy enough".

My normal smile that isn't a huge s***-eating grin is usually labelled as "seems a bit fake" or "smile seems a bit forced". Which is hilarious when my huge forced Cheshire-Cat psycho smile seems to get a more positive reception! :D

I've tried a smiling outdoor full body shot in good lighting at a sports stadium. Standard masculine hair cut. Described as "Bland environment." and "Would prefer a different hairstyle" (?!)

TL,DR:

Do your photos have to be absolutely exceptional and stunning pro photography level?

Do I have to be reclining topless (but not too topless!) witha lunatic's huge smile and soft focus in a Swedish Ski resort? Or am I overcomplicating and I just need a simple head shot with a blank background for my main pic?

Cheers chaps :)
OLD has so bad ROI its not fair
 

MoreThanSmooth

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I have this problem when out women are highly attracted to me, behind a camera i must drop at least 2 points

Its like i know of lads who are like a cheese string in real life but behind a photo they look ripped ...go figure
Oh for sure. The impact it can have is ridiculous. I think it was partly the app being glitchy as hell, but my old Tinder photos years ago gave me zero matches for 3 months. Not even kidding.

Changed the pics very subtly and reinstalled the app and got a lot more immediately. Now apparently that's out of fashion again because I'm getting zero interest.

A few weeks ago my mates were sneakily taking photos of me when I was playing pool to take the p*ss and they got one where my arms looked like little beanstalks and I had a triple chin going on too. I weigh nearly 16 stone, I'm not huge but the photo literally looked like I never went near a set of weights in my life :D

When I feel down about how I come across in pics I just remember the girls who give me the doe eyes in RL. I'd rather get that effect in real life than have that effect on profiles and not when I actually meet a girl ;)
 

Bible_Belt

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The worst pics are the shirtless selfie in the mirror, alone at home and looking creepy.

If you look fun, you set yourself apart. Some of my best pics are from me being filthy from working around the farm. I took one after running a string trimmer on a wet day and having mud splashed all over me. I can tell a girl I am about to send her a dirty pic....then send that one, because I am just that filthy of a person.

And that story about the comic is epic. I love it. A long time ago, in the very first days of Internet dating, most people didn't have pictures. Women had to ask you what you looked like. I would say that I was 4' 11", fat, bald, and covered in warts. And that she has to drive, and I hope she has room for my parole officer, too, because I am in a halfway house right now.....That's what makes humor attractive to women - when you care more about what is funny to you than you do about trying to impress her.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Thank you Amante, it's incredibly useful to see your profile like that. Appreciate it.

Also holy s*** you're attracting these cuties like Mr. T attracts bling. I now know why there are no women matching me, they're all sipping classy champagne at your place. Respect my man ;)

I will try and fix my pics this weekend. Here's an example of one of my current ones, to see how NOT to do it:



In hindsight it does look a bit like my dog's dating profile...she'd probably get more hot chicks tbh.
 
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Mazer

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Get in shape, go on vacation with friends and take a shirtless pic at the beach or in the pool, strategically crop out your friends so they know you were there hanging with a big group, not alone. My matches and dates have gone up 50% since adding the shirtless pic. I am 39 and women my age are still looking for a guy with a hot bod hahaha
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MoreThanSmooth

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Finally fixed it, here's the image I meant:
 

Murk

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changed mine today



Prob revealing too much but I am on phone can’t black anything out just a little zoom in
 
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MoreThanSmooth

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Cheers Murk. Thank you lads. I clearly need some clear new photos :)
 

sosousage

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I definitely agree humor is definitely a requirement, I find. But I save it for the interaction. I prefer the classic pic.

Here's a basic pic I would use as a main:



Here are some results just from today:









Don't have to get crazy....

do you have something in your bio that talks about money? also what app is this
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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derby1

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@LessThanSmooth take the dog out the pic mate have 4 pics of yourself and 1 group pic to show you enjoying yourself with friends

the websites that say women love pics of men and there dogs were written by women,

you do not ask a fish how to catch a fish you ask a fisherman
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Yeah maybe OLD isn't for me, at least at this stage of my life. I either seem to be in a situation where I'm suddenly trying and failing to plate 3 girls at once or it's just absolute dead radio silence for weeks or even months on end.

When I first started on the free site I'm on about a year ago, I had a ton of views and interest the first 2 weeks. After reactivating my profile and updating the pics, I can log off for a month and come back and find I don't even have a single profile view. It's just weird and pretty damaging to the self-esteem tbh.

Either way I seem to be running pillar to post on there at the moment and I'm lucky if I even get a "hello" response every couple of weeks, let alone an actual conversation or a date.

Presently my income is minimal (doctoral student) and my work hours are stupidly long. So despite my general hunger for some long overdue sexytimes I think I may just forget dating entirely and exercise a ton instead. Get fit as a fiddle and get some free time and I guess it'll all fall into place.
 

Macaframalama

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Then I'll come back a few months later to take advantage of that new member boost again or try a different site for some fresh faces.
Slick game, slick game. Cycle the sites, like cycling the women. Don't know why I haven't thought of this myself. I have noticed this and also, the longer you are logged in, the more views you get.
 

Catfish

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Prob revealing too much but I am on phone can’t black anything out just a little zoom in
Hey mate, you seem to be a good looking man but I guess that picture of yours is not the best pick. I would not pick a night time picture unless it's in some high value environment. Otherwise, make a couple pictures - each of them unique in its nature - (maybe one with flashy jewelry, one with a hot girl in your arm, one showing you on a beach, waiving, having fun and not so accidentally revealing some of your muscles/abs, ... ). Then, put each of them for a day on Tinder and see which one works best. Bottom line: online dating is the most superficial form of dating that I am aware of. All this text game bull**** is pure illusion and - in my humble opinion - only works when you have that initial attraction already.
 
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Murk

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Hey mate, you seem to be a good looking man but I guess that picture of yours is not the best pick. I would not pick a night time picture unless it's in some high value environment. Otherwise, make a couple pictures - each of them unique in its nature - (maybe one with flashy jewelry, one with a hot girl in your arm, one showing you on a beach, waiving, having fun and not so accidentally revealing some of your muscles/abs, ... ). Then, put each of them for a day on Tinder and see which one works best. Bottom line: online dating is the most superficial form of dating that I am aware of. All this text game bull**** is pure illusion and - in my humble opinion - only works when you have that initial attraction already.
Thanks - I wouldn't flash money or other women on my profile and my profile is getting the job done as it is right now, I'm getting dates and I'm having sex.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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