"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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phonetag

dice

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okay so the other night me and a few friends take out these girls and we had a great time, i gave one of them my number (cuz she already had) her phone out so i said lets hangout sometime and she says definately. So two nights later she calls me saying she thinks im really cool and wants to hangout very soon and asks what im doing tonight. So i say i dont know let me call u back in 10 mins. I call her back about 30 mins later and she doesnt answer so i try again 15 mins later still no answer. So I say fuk it and begin pondering what kind of mind game shes trying to play.

Whats she trying to pull? How long should I wait before i try her again? I know i should just next her but i really like her and id rather give it a last effort before doing so.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Big Eee Zee

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next time, call back when you say you will. It's ok to make her wait, but don't completely misinform her.

mystery is good, confusion isn't.
 

Wyldfire

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She wasn't playing any mind games...you were the one playing them when you acted not very interested when she called and then didn't call back when you said you would.
 

dice

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i was the one who initially suggested we hang out sometime so she has to know i am interested.. how long should i wait to call bak or is it hopeless!?
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Your original mistake was giving her your number when you should have gotten her number instead. Now she has all the power. I would get her number the next time she calls and then take it from there.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

dice

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yes.. i have her number because she has called me.. thats why im asking how long i should wait to try calling her or is it hopeless
 

mrRuckus

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Originally posted by dice
okay so the other night me and a few friends take out these girls and we had a great time, i gave one of them my number (cuz she already had) her phone out so i said lets hangout sometime and she says definately. So two nights later she calls me saying she thinks im really cool and wants to hangout very soon and asks what im doing tonight. So i say i dont know let me call u back in 10 mins. I call her back about 30 mins later and she doesnt answer so i try again 15 mins later still no answer. So I say fuk it and begin pondering what kind of mind game shes trying to play.

Whats she trying to pull? How long should I wait before i try her again? I know i should just next her but i really like her and id rather give it a last effort before doing so.
If you don't know when you're going to be somewhere or do something then don't give an exact time or people will (or should) expect you to be there at that exact time.

My gf used to always say "i'll be over at 8" and every time be there 15-20 min later. I'd be all ready and put aside what i'm doing to be ready to pay attention to her instead of having to clean up (which a lot of the time means get to a save point before she comes over :) ) after she gets there and make her wait. But then i'd just end up sitting doing nothing and waiting because there's no time to really start doing anything if she could show up any minute. This is annoying. I broke her of the habit luckily cause she's a good girl just by telling her it was disrespectful. I'm *always* on time unless something out of my control happens and i expect the same from others or i'll just leave without them if they make a habit of it. "well i said i was leaving at 8 and you didn't call and didn't show so i went ahead. what am i supposed to do, wait all night and hope you show up at all?"

My best guess is this happened. You said 10 minutes. She waited 20 and figured you were blowing her off so she made other plans. Then because people suck she just ignored your return phone call rather than saying "well you lied so i made other plans instead."

i type too much
 

Big Eee Zee

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Re: Re: phonetag

Originally posted by mrRuckus

I'm *always* on time unless something out of my control happens and i expect the same from others or i'll just leave without them if they make a habit of it.
See, I'm *always* 10-15 late, so people that know me know when I'm actually gonna show up. They just adjust the time slightly. I really cant help it. Just last weekend I missed a flight by 4 minutes. Always late...
 

Austizzle

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Maybe it's good to be spontaneous, mix it up with being late or being early or being ontime. This way she'll never know when the hell you'll be there.

Keep her guessing?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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dice

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um, yah so, what should i do? i called her one more time but thats it she didnt pick up, thats the third time in a row ive called her with no answer. Should i give her a week or something? What makes it so confusing is the last convo we had she was sayin how she think im really cool an wants to hangout SOON..
 

Susceptible

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Maybe her phone was closed or something? But girls HATE IT when guys never call them back when they said they would (or even when they call late). So maybe she's trying to give you a lesson. I'm sure she's pissed. Haha, i would be.
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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Whenever I play voicemail tag or phone tag I like to leave messages like "Hi, its me, heh, looks like we're playing phone tag. You're IT! HAHAHAHA" *CLICK*
 

lebRambo

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why do you instantly just jump to the idea that she's playing mindgames? maybe she just left her phone upstairs and she was somewhere else in the house at the time? maybe her phone was in her car? theres a million and one reasons why she didn't pick up. stop overthinking everything.
 
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