phone mistakes

[drift king]

i was suppose to meet this HB off facebook tonight and i spoke to her for about 8mins around 5pm and i did the usual routine of C+F etc but may put my foot in it a bit talking about my traits (may have come across as if i was qualifying myself to her) but the general flow went ok.. she said i was rude for some of the cheeky things i said.. and i couldn't tell if she was either offended or thought it was funny.. seemed a mixture of both.

anyway the tail end of the convo around minute 7 was when i decided to go for the kill and said so meet me at 8 at so and so place.

she obviously did the interrogation routine of how old i am what i do etc etc.. but when i told her to meet me at so and so place at 8 she said she'd let me know in 1 hour.. this took me back a bit cos i couldn't read it as being a flake or a genuine i'll call u back in an hour.

apparently the reason is she has work which can call her out last minute so she had to check with them although i should have clarified better what she said. but anyway i should have left it with 'ok i expect a call from u by 6.30 '

but instead i went on to say in a hypothetical way 'so if u can make it is 8pm ok?' she goes 'i'll let you know in 1 hour' i repeat the question as i didnt' think she understood me properly.. and i got the same answer.. so i said it again and yep same answer.. so i took the hint but could something like this cause such a last minute flaking? (i felt somewhat this might appear needy or clingy when it was suppose to be hypothetical)

she didn't call in the end.

what i don't like about facebook is that you're just a random stranger and a picture so really normally in real life if she had good manners she'd apologise for not letting u know but cos you're a nobody yet she can just ignore your calls. in other words they treat u like a 2nd class citizen dating wise more so than how they treat guys they've met.

i obviously made the mistake of calling 2 hours after (no pick up) then sending a text straight after saying what the deal was for tonight and something c+f to end it. i'm not expecting a reply or a call back given it's off facebook but i guess it's worth calling again later in the week once more then nexting?

maybe i didn't create enough attraction on the phone from what i said.. but it's hard cos you're really put on the spot, at least on facebook u have time to think about what to say.

 

[verysuave]

thats why LESS talk on the phone. women can turn it around on you. Don't spend over 2 minutes on phone. Good lord

 

[drift king]

well she called to apologise for not letting me know an hour later and i kinda gave her grief about it cos she wasn't giving me a straight answer and just said 'i'll call u tomorrow' (yeah right like how u called me 1 hour after u said u would)

she's pretty much lying cos if it was a work thing as she suggested then she would have said that but i could hear her friends in the background so clearly she spent that hour finding out what her friends were doing and if nothing was on then she'd meet me..

it's funny how they change their story and try to spin it like that's what they told u in the first place. her story was 'i told u earlier that i'd call u in an hour but i was busy.. (i could hear the annoyance in her voice) i kinda took all of it in jest'

but a flake is a flake. interrogating them playfully is crossing a thin line.

 

[Unsure]

First, you call her. Have a quick rapport session by initial conversation. Once rapport has been established and the conversation has reached its peak/climax, use a time restraint and say you need to go. (By doing this, she will have the frame of mind that "Aww man, I was having such a great time talking to this guy, I don't want him to leave.") This will make her anticipate the next time you call her! Except, right before you leave say "We should meet up for coffee this week (as an example). I'm actually quite busy this week, but I'm free on Tuesday and Thursday, so I can squeeze you in." If you established rapport correctly in the conversation, she would be dying to go out with you. In addition, statistically you have a greater chance of meeting her because you gave her TWO options of days to meet you, while keeping your balls at the same time.

You kept your balls because:
1) You let her know that your time is valuable, and you only have 2 days free. (This also reduces flaking, because my letting her know your time is valuable, she knows to treat it with respect.)
2) You did not ASK her to spend time with you, you TOLD her.

You might have gone for the kill too soon, wrong timing

 

[drift king]

thats why LESS talk on the phone. women can turn it around on you. Don't spend over 2 minutes on phone. Good lord

does this apply to facebook meetings with someone you've never met before though?

i feel as if the rules are broadened a lot when u date off facebook i.e. u have to let a lot more things slide cos at the end of the day you're just some random stranger.. i.e. if they're late but notify u in advance or if they don't text/call u back.

even tho they really should u can understand why they don't cos they can easily lose interest if they sense the slightest sense of grief from u.

 

[drift king]

First, you call her. Have a quick rapport session by initial conversation. Once rapport has been established and the conversation has reached its peak/climax, use a time restraint and say you need to go. (By doing this, she will have the frame of mind that "Aww man, I was having such a great time talking to this guy, I don't want him to leave.") This will make her anticipate the next time you call her! Except, right before you leave say "We should meet up for coffee this week (as an example). I'm actually quite busy this week, but I'm free on Tuesday and Thursday, so I can squeeze you in." If you established rapport correctly in the conversation, she would be dying to go out with you. In addition, statistically you have a greater chance of meeting her because you gave her TWO options of days to meet you, while keeping your balls at the same time.

You kept your balls because:
1) You let her know that your time is valuable, and you only have 2 days free. (This also reduces flaking, because my letting her know your time is valuable, she knows to treat it with respect.)
2) You did not ASK her to spend time with you, you TOLD her.

this is very good but what do u talk about in the rapport section of the call?

because inevitably they'll ask these questions: how old are you, what is your profession, where are you from etc etc..

it's almost unavoidable.. i usually just wing it and be cheeky and almost rude cos otherwise i'll come across boring and needy.. literally i say the same crap every time but when i try to seal the deal i need to follow your rules. i did that last week by accident putting a time constraint and it worked wonders.

 

[verysuave]

man, yeah. Say less while on the phone because end up saying crap you shouldn't be saying and tables could turn against YOU. And we don't want that =)

So, call her, say a tease line. Ask her out. close conversation. hangup DONE DEAL

 

[drift king]

but even if the phone convo is only 2 mins inevitably she'll ask u questions such as how old are you where u from what is your profession.. it's unavoidable..

the thing is it's like i didn't spend long enough building rapport even tho i was on the phone for 8 mins.. last week i was on the phone for 20 mins granted it was about 5 mins too long in that case but i built enough rapport that we're seeing each other tomorrow.

but how do u avoid answering those annoying questions of 'what is your profession' or 'what do u do?' etc if she asks it you have to answer with a fluff answer?

i dont know if that would work cos i guess she's worried about meeting a stranger and you're being evasive is only going to ring alarm bells.

 

[drift king]

she then calls me about an hour after we're suppose to meet saying that she couldn't make it and changed the story around about how she told me earlier that she was busy.. she's such a liar.. she tells me it's unpredictable her work but really she was calling her friends to see what they were doing and if she had nothing on then she'd meet me.. is this acceptable especially when it's a facebook meeting?

when i questioned her about it on the phone she sounded annoyed so i started laughing to make it sound like a joke.. all she kept saying was 'i'll call u tomorrow.. we'll speak tomorrow' (yeah right..)

then i get a call from her at midnight apologising for being rude.. but not for cancelling for just being rude on the phone earlier, this caught me by surprise and yes again she just called to say sorry then wanted to get off the phone asap rather than rearrange our time, when i pressed for it she kept saying 'we'll speak tomorrow'.. how should i have handled her apology better?

i was thinking after i should have said 'ok so how you going to make it up to me? i don't want an apology i want a counter offer for u cancelling tonight'

 

[scribblec]

what you should of done is after she apologised let her get off the phone, then when 2morow comes and she hasnt called you to then ignore her till she makes contact. espeically if she sees u online on facebook. she will be wondering why you havent made a fuss about her not calling you, making you higher value ftw

 

[drift king]

the thing is when she said 'i'll speak to you tomorrow or i'll call u tomorrow..' it's just such a fluff line to end the convo.. she has no intention of calling me today at all so i doubt she'll even wonder why i haven't followed it up..

at the end of the day if her interest level was higher she wouldn't be p1ssing me about as much. but bear in mind i've never met her so do the rules change?

 

[verysuave]

the thing is when she said 'i'll speak to you tomorrow or i'll call u tomorrow..' it's just such a fluff line to end the convo.. she has no intention of calling me today at all so i doubt she'll even wonder why i haven't followed it up..

at the end of the day if her interest level was higher she wouldn't be p1ssing me about as much. but bear in mind i've never met her so do the rules change?

would you want to be answering questions over the efing phone or during the date?

 

[verysuave]

but even if the phone convo is only 2 mins inevitably she'll ask u questions such as how old are you where u from what is your profession.. it's unavoidable..

the thing is it's like i didn't spend long enough building rapport even tho i was on the phone for 8 mins.. last week i was on the phone for 20 mins granted it was about 5 mins too long in that case but i built enough rapport that we're seeing each other tomorrow.

but how do u avoid answering those annoying questions of 'what is your profession' or 'what do u do?' etc if she asks it you have to answer with a fluff answer?

i dont know if that would work cos i guess she's worried about meeting a stranger and you're being evasive is only going to ring alarm bells.

tell her, "lets talk about this wednesday over coffee"