Phone games... or not.

[Hellboy]

I can't decide. I have even argued with myself about posting this thread! But now I'm going to bed and it may give me a little peace of mind.

Things with me and my girl have been great so far. It's only been two months though. And I know I let myself get a little bit carried away with infatuation. But hopefully I didn't let things get out of hand. I haven't told her I love her. I haven't been needy or wussy.

We got into the early stages of texting a fair bit. Actually, pretty much every night. But usually she sent the first and last texts in the course of a night, over 3-5 texts. Occasionally I have called her in the evenings, particularly if I'm planning something. And one wierd habit that formed was that she would call me at lunch times (we work in offices at other ends of the city) pretty much every day.

But now the communication seems to be drying up a little, and I'm not sure if I should be worried. Last time I spoke to her at work, she said she was worried I wouild get bored with her. I just said "Don't worry, not getting bored... yet!" But she's not called me at work since.

Last night, I sent the last text of 4 and she never wished me goodnight. And I've not heard anything at all from her today or tonight (It's nearly midnight).

I know this is nothing unusual by normal standards, but it is slightly out of character for our relationship so far. I'm not sure if she is hoping I'll make a little more effort, is losing interest or even if I'm just worrying over nothing.

She's at a Motley Crue gig tonight so maybe just didn't have time. But the wierd thing is that she is going to see System Of A Down on wed night. My Dad got me a ticket for my birthday and I didn't know until last night. The last text I sent told her I was going too. It's very wierd that she didn't even acknowledge this, that I would see her there. Now it's tomorrow night and I'm not sure what's gonna happen. Should I just pick up the fricken phone? Would that be handing her power if these are games?

Aaargh! Well, at least I got it off my chest. I'm going to bed.

 

[suave4sure]

Well

Many relationships go through a honeymoon stage it some point(i.e. calling every night). Many relationships also go through periods where it seems there's nothing to talk about.

However tha normally occurs much later on in the realtionship.

By the way it's spelled "weird" not wierd. Peeve of mine

To me it would seem yall have been talking too much almost for this early on.

Im guessing when she said "i'm worrying you'll get bored with me" it meant one of two things. Either A. we're running out of stuff to talk about and i'm getting bored or B. what she originally said. My guess is with A

talking too much via whatever medium early in the relationship is a nail in the coffin. it takes away from what you would have in the relationship if it lasted longer, and if you dated longer if she found out something she didn't like she'd be more likely to deal with it instead of ditching out completely.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Hellboy
I can't decide. I have even argued with myself about posting this thread! But now I'm going to bed and it may give me a little peace of mind.

Things with me and my girl have been great so far. It's only been two months though. And I know I let myself get a little bit carried away with infatuation. But hopefully I didn't let things get out of hand. I haven't told her I love her. I haven't been needy or wussy.

We got into the early stages of texting a fair bit. Actually, pretty much every night. But usually she sent the first and last texts in the course of a night, over 3-5 texts. Occasionally I have called her in the evenings, particularly if I'm planning something. And one wierd habit that formed was that she would call me at lunch times (we work in offices at other ends of the city) pretty much every day.

But now the communication seems to be drying up a little, and I'm not sure if I should be worried. Last time I spoke to her at work, she said she was worried I wouild get bored with her. I just said "Don't worry, not getting bored... yet!" But she's not called me at work since.

Last night, I sent the last text of 4 and she never wished me goodnight. And I've not heard anything at all from her today or tonight (It's nearly midnight).

I know this is nothing unusual by normal standards, but it is slightly out of character for our relationship so far. I'm not sure if she is hoping I'll make a little more effort, is losing interest or even if I'm just worrying over nothing.

She's at a Motley Crue gig tonight so maybe just didn't have time. But the wierd thing is that she is going to see System Of A Down on wed night. My Dad got me a ticket for my birthday and I didn't know until last night. The last text I sent told her I was going too. It's very wierd that she didn't even acknowledge this, that I would see her there. Now it's tomorrow night and I'm not sure what's gonna happen. Should I just pick up the fricken phone? Would that be handing her power if these are games?

Aaargh! Well, at least I got it off my chest. I'm going to bed.

Paranoia??

You know, you don't HAVE to answer right awawy every time she calls. Especially if you've got other stuff going on in your life.

Conversation with you, in ANY form, should be something she looks FORWARD to, not something established as part of a daily routine.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Hellboy
But the wierd thing is that she is going to see System Of A Down on wed night. My Dad got me a ticket for my birthday and I didn't know until last night. The last text I sent told her I was going too. It's very wierd that she didn't even acknowledge this, that I would see her there.

hahaha

dude are you thick ?

she is going to the system of a down concert with her OTHER BOYFRIEND

you said now you got a ticket and you wondering why she is acting

VERY WEIRD

she is ****ting herself. she is caught like a deer in the headlights.

typical woman she refuses to do the smart thing and NOT GO to the concert to avoid being caught CHEATING.

oh well good luck finding her in the crowd. she will be wearing a disguise


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Hellboy]

Re: Re: Phone games... or not.

Originally posted by squirrels
Paranoia??

You know, you don't HAVE to answer right awawy every time she calls. Especially if you've got other stuff going on in your life.

Conversation with you, in ANY form, should be something she looks FORWARD to, not something established as part of a daily routine.

Cheers I needed that No more paranoia!

Think you have a point suave but hopefully it's safe for now, we only really talk at weekends.

I fought valiantly with the urge to get in touch with her and today she contacted me. She wants to hook up before the gig. So no cookie LIT I'm glad I held off though. Even if it wasn't a power game every action has that affect.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Hellboy
She's at a Motley Crue gig tonight so maybe just didn't have time. But the wierd thing is that she is going to see System Of A Down on wed night.

no cookie eh ?

who is taking her to all the concerts ? who is paying for all these tickets ? why did she change the plans to meet you before the concert ? who was she going to the concert with ?

it's a no cookie situation when we have all the facts


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[TizZle]

Im assuming she wants to hook up before the gig and go with you correct ? Or are you just seeing her before the gig and going you separate ways once the concert is about to start ? I wouldn't over think entirely too much, just if she starts pulling back you must also.

 

[Hellboy]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
no cookie eh ?

who is taking her to all the concerts ? who is paying for all these tickets ? why did she change the plans to meet you before the concert ? who was she going to the concert with ?

it's a no cookie situation when we have all the facts [/B]

Damn good concert!

Okay, she was with her (guy) friends at both gigs. They're cool but single and slightly afc. She bought her own tickets. She used her friends tickets to smuggle me and my brother into the VIP area. She was all over me for the majority of the night. We left together (with a lot of making out), but she's gone home now cos we both work in the morning.

Case closed.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Hellboy
she was with her (guy) friends at both gigs. They're cool but single

LOL WE HAVE A WINNER

all her girlfriends were busy ? she doesn't have girlfriends ?

case closed ? dude i just blew the case WIDE OPEN


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Lost In Translation
Hellboy
she was with her (guy) friends at both gigs. They're cool but single

LOL WE HAVE A WINNER

all her girlfriends were busy ? she doesn't have girlfriends ?

case closed ? dude i just blew the case WIDE OPEN


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

i've noticed you ALWAYS bank on the "cheating" aspect of everything..

been burned in the past?

regaurdless those two guys could very well be her friends we don't know that, he don't know that so unless he catches her with one of those guys makeing out somewhere or being all dodgy about one of them OR constantly makeing plans with one specific guy. then yeah we got problems

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by christz

regaurdless those two guys could very well be her friends we don't know that, he don't know that so unless he catches her with one of those guys makeing out somewhere or being all dodgy about one of them OR constantly makeing plans with one specific guy. then yeah we got problems

Could HAVE been. But she stood HIM up to go with THEM.

Which means if they're in the friendzone, he's DEEPER into it. Because he became predictable and boring calling/texting every damn day.

 

[Nightspark]

that honeymoon period fux with people's minds too easily.. hrrm

i don't remember when i first discoverd such a nuiscence of a period in ones relationship which suave4sure reffered to as the honeymoon period (i named it something else, but i know it wasn't the Honeymoon period... anyways...).

The so called honeymoon period is pretty much what a few people call the best part of a relationship. You're both new to each other and obviously are interested in each other at a high point! EVERYONE'S HAPPY! WEE!

Eventually you get out of this happy stage, and you hit something which i call the Make Or Break Period [MOB period]. Now during this period the dating will enter the actual relationship phase (ACTUAL relationships NEVER EVER start on the 1st date!). During the MOB Period the dating never hits the relationship due to a few little things but we won't go into that since it's just a waste of time... HOWEVER the main reason in this context is that one of the datees (either you or the girl) starts MOBing the other datee. (yes that's where the MOB Pun comes in ). The constant calling, messaging, emailing, SMSing, constant annoyance! Eventually what is supposed to be a gift (you calling her once in a while) turns into something of a lemon... and then everything ends!

Now this is the differnce between an AFC and a DJ

The AFC will begin to think that the girl is losing interest because both of you are not calling as often and you're not seeing each other as often as in the Honeymoon Period. The AFC pannics, MOBs her with phone calls and his constant prescence and then everything becomes tarnished.

The DJ sits back and realises that both of you can't always act like little horny teenagers forever, and that if this is going to be a LTR, both have to show that they can be mature or something (can't think of a better word) - what i'm trying to say is that either one of you can not act desperate and needy as this has a higher probability of fkning everything up. If successful it hits into a higher LTR stage which i have no name for !

Ahh there's a little explanation of how it works.

Bottom line is... dont act like the AFC in the story up there, unless you want to end up distraught for a while.

Godspeed
-Nightspark

 

[christz]

Originally posted by squirrels
Could HAVE been. But she stood HIM up to go with THEM.

Which means if they're in the friendzone, he's DEEPER into it. Because he became predictable and boring calling/texting every damn day.

there's only one way to level out the playing feild then. Stop contacting her for no reason and when she calls you don't answer and call back a few hours later.

you'll get right back to wherever you were, less she actually is cheating and then that's just more oppertunity to cheat

 

[Lost In Translation]

christz
i've noticed you ALWAYS bank on the "cheating" aspect of everything..

been burned in the past?

regaurdless those two guys could very well be her friends we don't know that, he don't know that so unless he catches her with one of those guys makeing out somewhere or being all dodgy about one of them OR constantly makeing plans with one specific guy. then yeah we got problems

no i do not always count on them cheating. i bank on nothing. i look at the facts and then basing it on my EXPERIENCE i give my opinions. how did i know that dudes chick he wanted to go down on was saying no because of her stretch marks ? experience ! i seen every cheating crack h0 trick in the book.

look at Supergigalodj's post about threesomes. i was the first person to stand up for his girlfriend and say everyone else was full of $hit and look out for his best interests.

now i will help you read between the lines :

hellboy
Last night, I sent the last text of 4 and she never wished me goodnight. And I've not heard anything at all from her today or tonight (It's nearly midnight).

he is smothering this girl and turning her off. she is now shopping for other options. he is too clingy and needy.

hellboy
She's at a Motley Crue gig tonight so maybe just didn't have time. But the wierd thing is that she is going to see System Of A Down on wed night.

this chick is backstage every night of the week. ok say weird

My Dad got me a ticket for my birthday and I didn't know until last night. The last text I sent told her I was going too. It's very wierd that she didn't even acknowledge this, that I would see her there.

now say VERY WEIRD

he behaviour in the above quote tells you SOMETHING IS WRONG

normal response would be :

" omg hellboy ! you are going too ! thats great ! we can meet up at the concert ! it will be awesome ! "

what is her response ?

" oh $hit i am going with another AFC who is paying for my ticket despite that i told hellboy i payed for it and now i gotta come up with a plan to not get caught out "

Okay, she was with her (guy) friends at both gigs. They're cool but single and slightly afc. She bought her own tickets.

cool single guys taking her out to rock concerts ?

can you say DATE ?

what about the Motley Crew concert ? another DATE ?

squirrels
Because he became predictable and boring calling/texting every damn day.

^^^^^ he needs to listen to this advice. hellboy play it cool. you need to get her interest level higher.

she is more interested in spending her free nights with these GUY FRIENDS than him ? WUSSUP !!!!!!!

doesn't return calls or sms WUSSUP !!!!


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Hellboy]

Thanks for the interesting feedback. I think I'd better clear things up a little. There are two things that caused this post.
1) Overanalysing on my part. I should really learn to give that a miss.
2) She never received the last text that I sent on Monday night.

I don't swamp her with calls/texts, but I usually reply to hers. Monday night, she texted me, I texted back, she texted me and I texted her back, but she never got this one (I put a greek phrase in this text, more on that later). Then I waited 2 days until she texted me again. I replied saying that she should keep an eye out cos she might see me at the gig. That's when I got the LIT response: " omg hellboy ! you are going too ! thats great ! we can meet up at the concert ! it will be awesome ! "

At the gig, as I mentioned, she was all over me all night. I asked her if I used correct grammar in the greek phrase in my last text of Monday night - and she genuinely looked confused! She didn't receive that text! So the two day stalemate was unwittingly on my part not hers.

As for gigging with her friends midweek, I never see her during the week and I specified this at an early stage. I usually only see her at weekends, so these gigs were planned well in advance.

Her friends are definetely not a threat. They are single, yes, AFC yes (what hot girl doesn't have AFC friends?), and one of them was obviously slightly jealous of us openly making out. But I think I won them over.

I am very affectionate to this girl and have tried to avoid playing games. But I'm not AFC. She always calls/texts just that little bit more (she broke the stalemate right?). I have explained to her that I'm not about to fall in love during an infatuation period (she's a psych major btw). She was teaching me greek phrases and offered to teach me 'beloved', and I was like, 'maybe we'll give that one a miss'.

In case there was any doubt, here's an email I got from her today:

---
Geia sou prigipa mou!
Last night was so much fun! I really enjoyed sharing the whole gig feeling with you! Another nice experience that we shared. Talking about experiences remind me to tell you about a couple of ideas I have.
Are you working on Saturday? And would you like to go to Fay’s flat-warming party?
I shall speak to you later my dark vampireknight!
Thousands of sweet strawberry kisses,
Susana x
---

Now it's case closed, right?

BTW, Nightspark, I loved the MOB thing. Will definetely watch out for that!

 

[christz]

i'm gonna have to agree with you LIT about the intrest level angle here, its low because she's comfertable, and now its getting predictable

i think this can be salvaged i don't see much disrespect happening here, i say ignore the girl for a few days, don't answer your calls and call back hours later and say you were busy at the time.

and if this don't work like i said ealier in another post or maybe it was this one, she's already gone.

leave em wanting more