Phone Game 101 - 15 Tips to Master Talking to a Woman On the Phone

brosnake

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From [Zen-Articles]


Talking on the phone to a strange woman you met at the bar the night before can be awkward. Your primary goal is to make the conversation as light and fun as possible. Your secondary goal is to secure a date. Here are some tips to guide you along the way:


- Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by someone who never got laid.



- Bring up something you were talking about the last time you met. If you met her at the produce section of the supermarket, talk about how you just found the perfect watermelon or ask her how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe or not since you just bought a bad one, or ask her if she's ever eaten something at the supermarket before she paid for it, etc.



- Have something witty to stay right off the bat. You need to break the ice again. Just because she liked you enough to give you her number when she was three drinks deep at Sharkeyz Bar doesn't mean she: a) is single b) actually likes you (maybe she just wanted to give you her number so you would leave) c) will agree to a date if you don't keep the conversation interesting on the phone.



- Keep it short, no longer than 15 minutes: "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm swamped today."



- Don't leave voicemails. Its hard to not come off sounding needy or insecure on a voicemail unless your Inner Game is very solid (or you've been in sales for a while). For now, hang up when you get her machine and call back later. I like calling between 8 - 9 PM on a weekend or on a Sunday afternoon.



- If a roommate picks up, try talking to them and finding out something about them (connect with them [link]). It's a lot easier for you to secure a date if her roommates like you.



- Always assume she remembers you. When she answers the phone, simply say, "Hey [name], this is [your name]." Wait for her response. If there's a long pause or if she asks you who you are, say "You don't remember me? I saved your life from that pack of ninjas last night!" Don't tell her who you are, make her remember.



- Be standing, smiling and walking when you're on the phone. It boosts your energy and she will be able to pick up on your good vibe from the other end of the receiver.



- Leave on a high note if you can. As soon as you set up the date you should excuse yourself and hang up.



- Always be the first to say goodbye and the first to hang up.



- Don't be discouraged if she gave you a fake number, it happens even to the most seasoned of Players.



- At least at first, I recommend pre-scripting bullet points of what you want to say during the phone conversation. It eliminates those awkward pauses on the phone.



- You only call to set up dates. You don't call her just to say "what's up." In order for her to hear your voice she has to see you. That means no calls or texts in-between. Don't take calls or texts from her either (especially if she's a textaholic or at all needy). This quashes attachment (read: dependency) in both parties and leads to a freer, healthier, and more independent relationship.



- Good phone game is an art in-and-of itself, and for some it can be even more difficult to master than meeting women in real life. If this is the case for you, I recommend getting both her phone number and e-mail address when you initially get her contact information. Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you make your initial call. Your conversation will go much smoother and your chances of getting a date will increase exponentially just because you've already established a baseline of comfort and trust.





Here's a template e-mail you can use after you get an e-mail address:



**************************************



Hey [Name], (if she has an e-mail address like CutiePrincessDancer84, make sure to address it to that name mockingly)



It was good meeting you last night! You were very cool, especially considering you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe the whole night... JUST KIDDING (I think it was paper towel).



Anyway, I gotta jet in a couple minutes but I wanted to let you know I was thinking about our conversation [insert previous conversation topic here] about finding the best produce in the supermarket and [since I'm a nerd like that] I found an awesome website that has a legend for picking the best piece of fruit! Here's the URL. You'll never have to eat an unripened melon again. You can thank me by bringing a fresh fruit salad over to my work, hah!



Hope all is well with you.



[Your name]
 
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The Forms

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Who writes an e-mail to a girl when they're crunched for time? And if you're not crunched for time, why lie about that in an e-mail? Is she supposed to like you more because you're "such a busy boy?" If you were so crunched for time, how did you make time to find this website with fruit legends? It seems like such a stupid thing to lie about.

The e-mail thing is strange because it doesn't really go anywhere. It feels like he's TRYING to be funny, but he's not ACTUALLY being funny. Also, he didn't ask her any questions, so she has to reason to respond to it. That e-mail would work better if he asked her a question or two so she had something to say when she wrote him back. As it is right now she'll probably just shoot him a, "hey, thanks for the fruit thing. See ya."
 

Obsidian

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These two points of advice are both bullsh1t:

- Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by someone who never got laid.
. . . .
I recommend getting both her phone number and e-mail address when you initially get her contact information. Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you make your initial call.

And maybe it's just me, but I don't see the need for any special skillz when it comes to calling up girls. The only thing you need to get better at is not sounding nervous (I personally have always had kind of a phone phobia). And getting over nervousness mainly just comes from experience.

Just call 'em up, ask 'em how they've been, maybe tell them something you've been up to since you saw them last, and then invite them to something and get off the phone. Takes about 3 minutes.
 
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Kev07

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- Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by someone who never got laid.

Whatever, doesn't matter too much, it all depends how you carry yourself



- Bring up something you were talking about the last time you met. If you met her at the produce section of the supermarket, talk about how you just found the perfect watermelon or ask her how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe or not since you just bought a bad one, or ask her if she's ever eaten something at the supermarket before she paid for it, etc.


Whatever again


- Have something witty to stay right off the bat. You need to break the ice again. Just because she liked you enough to give you her number when she was three drinks deep at Sharkeyz Bar doesn't mean she: a) is single b) actually likes you (maybe she just wanted to give you her number so you would leave) c) will agree to a date if you don't keep the conversation interesting on the phone.

Doesn't matter too much what you say, though if your phone game isn't so tight you might just want to think of something witty.



- Keep it short, no longer than 15 minutes: "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm swamped today."

This really depends on situation and what you want from the girl, I believe you can talk to a girl as long as you want, just don't drag it out.



- Don't leave voicemails. Its hard to not come off sounding needy or insecure on a voicemail unless your Inner Game is very solid (or you've been in sales for a while). For now, hang up when you get her machine and call back later. I like calling between 8 - 9 PM on a weekend or on a Sunday afternoon.

Bull****, always leave a voicemail, shows that confidence, your inner game doesn't even need to be "very" solid, as long as you don't sound like a shakey wuss or supplicating.



- If a roommate picks up, try talking to them and finding out something about them (connect with them [link]). It's a lot easier for you to secure a date if her roommates like you.

I can work with this one.



- Always assume she remembers you. When she answers the phone, simply say, "Hey [name], this is [your name]." Wait for her response. If there's a long pause or if she asks you who you are, say "You don't remember me? I saved your life from that pack of ninjas last night!" Don't tell her who you are, make her remember.

One of the better tips

- Be standing, smiling and walking when you're on the phone. It boosts your energy and she will be able to pick up on your good vibe from the other end of the receiver.

Another good one

- Leave on a high note if you can. As soon as you set up the date you should excuse yourself and hang up.

If your only goal is to set up a date, then definetely, but onto my next point... a few tips down

- Always be the first to say goodbye and the first to hang up.

As long as you're not dragging out the conversation, this should happen already

- Don't be discouraged if she gave you a fake number, it happens even to the most seasoned of Players.

lol.

- At least at first, I recommend pre-scripting bullet points of what you want to say during the phone conversation. It eliminates those awkward pauses on the phone.

If you feel like you're running out of things to say, then it's about time that you end the call


- You only call to set up dates. You don't call her just to say "what's up." In order for her to hear your voice she has to see you. That means no calls or texts in-between. Don't take calls or texts from her either (especially if she's a textaholic or at all needy). This quashes attachment (read: dependency) in both parties and leads to a freer, healthier, and more independent relationship.

Heres one of the more bull**** tips, unless your goal is just for a ONS, there is NOTHING wrong with calling/texting just to say what's up, obviously, you don't want to be doing this all the time

- Good phone game is an art in-and-of itself, and for some it can be even more difficult to master than meeting women in real life. If this is the case for you, I recommend getting both her phone number and e-mail address when you initially get her contact information. Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you make your initial call. Your conversation will go much smoother and your chances of getting a date will increase exponentially just because you've already established a baseline of comfort and trust.

If it makes you feel that much better I guess, but if you're following that other tip earlier, standing smiling walking around, you should be able to pull off the phone game well enough.


Okay, so maybe not most of the tips are bull****, but definetely take em with a grain of salt.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Kev07 said:
Okay, so maybe not most of the tips are bull****, but definetely take em with a grain of salt.
I didn't think so, although I do agree with you about leaving a voicemail; it's alright, just don't carpet bomb her answering machine.
 

Micheal Moon

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I disagree with some of the phone tips usually given on here.

One of the things is never talk to a girl over 15 minutes. Fact of the matter is, women like guys who can talk. They love talkers and if you can demonstrate that from the get go you create even more attraction.

Plus it helps build even more rapport w/ the girl. Once you build that rapport you get a connection and you have something to build on once you do hookup.

I think it helps to show that value to further the IL of the girl.

I recently took the advice of this site w/ a girl I was checking and it backfired. Only calling to set up dates I really didn't establish anything and the convo after suffered. I don't really like taking phone conversations with girls as business meetings and Im veering away from that advice from now on.

I do agree that the convo should not drag on, and you should be the first one to bounce and get off the phone.

To each is own. All I'm saying is, talking to a girl over the phone is not a big deal.
 

Demon

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Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by someone who never got laid.
Sometimes I call several months later. What can I say, I'm a busy guy!
Bring up something you were talking about the last time you met.
That goes without saying, regardless of what you're talking about. Always break the ice with a hook back to the past, even if you're just writing to inquire about business and job opportunities.
Have something witty to stay right off the bat.
Don't be witty if you're not witty. If you broke the ice per the above, skip this.
Keep it short, no longer than 15 minutes: "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm swamped today."
I usually spend 30 seconds to 1 minute on the phone. I'd have to be dead to be talking on the phone for 15 minutes. And I know that's not possible... because I'd be dead.
Don't leave voicemails.
Generally, yeah. I leave brief to-the-point voicemails on occasion, usually along the lines of, "Hey, this is [Demon]. Call me back." I rarely get callbacks... from anyone! So I follow up later and usually much later. See my first comment above.
It's a lot easier for you to secure a date if her roommates like you.
Here you're more at risk of making her roommates your opposition. If you've never met them, you're not really clued into their personality, body language, etc., so if you talk to her roommates, you're flying blind.
Always assume she remembers you. When she answers the phone, simply say, "Hey [name], this is [your name]." Wait for her response.
Yup. Simple. If she hesitates, like the author of the tips said, either use visual language or be direct. Whichever you're best at. I'm normally direct. "We met on the set of [some film]." If she still doesn't recall, her loss, so bid farewell and move on.
Be standing, smiling and walking when you're on the phone.
Yeah, that's called acting. Believe you are, and you shall be, at least as far as presentation goes.
Leave on a high note if you can.
Don't say, "I've gotta go! My aunt just died."
Always be the first to say goodbye and the first to hang up.
Enough said.
Don't be discouraged if she gave you a fake number, it happens even to the most seasoned of Players.
The last time that happened to me, I was in second grade. I remember that I confronted her and she gave me the right number the next day. I also remember not calling her anyway because of her previous deception. Yeah, second grade. Go figure.
At least at first, I recommend pre-scripting bullet points of what you want to say during the phone conversation.
I do that all the time, whether on paper or mentally.
You only call to set up dates.
Said another way, you should only call to accomplish your goals and objectives when you have goals and objectives that require use of the phone.
Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you make your initial call.
I never send personal e-mails.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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Micheal Moon said:
...One of the things is never talk to a girl over 15 minutes. Fact of the matter is, women like guys who can talk. They love talkers and if you can demonstrate that from the get go you create even more attraction.

Plus it helps build even more rapport w/ the girl. Once you build that rapport you get a connection and you have something to build on once you do hookup.
Question for 'ya, why would it take more than 15 minutes to build rapport? I think that if you can't do it in 15 minutes you're chances may be higher of having a difficult time getting when you do get together.
Micheal Moon said:
...I recently took the advice of this site w/ a girl I was checking and it backfired. Only calling to set up dates I really didn't establish anything and the convo after suffered. I don't really like taking phone conversations with girls as business meetings and Im veering away from that advice from now on.
What happened? You didn't talk on the date either? This kinda points to the whole thing of having rapport yet I still question if it needs to take more than a few minutes.
 

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Question for 'ya, why would it take more than 15 minutes to build rapport? I think that if you can't do it in 15 minutes you're chances may be higher of having a difficult time getting when you do get together.

What happened? You didn't talk on the date either? This kinda points to the whole thing of having rapport yet I still question if it needs to take more than a few minutes.
yep. you really dont need that long. trust me, 15 mins is a hell of a long time. just get to the point, make her giggle, ask her out, it's a done deal, don't dally about fruits and all (even if you did meet her at the supermarket, it's really pointless to go on about)
 

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jakeyboy said:
yep. you really dont need that long. trust me, 15 mins is a hell of a long time. just get to the point, make her giggle, ask her out, it's a done deal, don't dally about fruits and all (even if you did meet her at the supermarket, it's really pointless to go on about)
Then again, it depends what your goal is with this girl.


If you're looking for more than a fling, there is nothing wrong with talking longer than 15 minutes, though doing this before a first date could be kind of weird.
 

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Kev07 said:
Then again, it depends what your goal is with this girl.


If you're looking for more than a fling, there is nothing wrong with talking longer than 15 minutes, though doing this before a first date could be kind of weird.
You mean when you've talked so much about fluff that when you meet there's no chemistry and you end up as friends?
 

jakeyboy

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Kev07 said:
Then again, it depends what your goal is with this girl.


If you're looking for more than a fling, there is nothing wrong with talking longer than 15 minutes, though doing this before a first date could be kind of weird.
hmm, fling or not, i reckon talking to her face to face would be more conducive than talking on the phone for too long - in person there's aspects like body language, which you can't convey or derive from the way she sounds on the phone.

you can still begin by joking about something from your previous encounter with her but once you've got her laughing, don't waste the opportunity. end on a light note, ask her out then get outta there.

good luck DJs.
 
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Kev07

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Actually, you guys are right, I'm just really biased right now because I have no way of seeing my girl for 3 weeks (Winter break at school, and I'm home), so we talk on the phone for longer than 15 minutes.

However, when I was still at school, I remember that I never really talked to her on the phone more than to get her in person.

My bad on that one. :D
 
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