Phone Call Problem

[Dapper Swindler]

I'm kind of disappointed that I have not progressed enough to figure this out on my own. But I decided it would be best to get some advice on this one.

I met a great girl at a dance club last weekend. We hit it off pretty well and I went back to her hotel room with her. Things were pretty spicy and I stayed the night, although I'm sure alcohol had something to do with it. She was staying at a hotel with her cousin because she actually lives 90 miles away. I don't want to next her because of that because she is easily the hottest girl I've had anything to do with.

Next morning, she kisses me goodbye and insists that I have her number the next morning so there has to be some interest from her not attributed to alcohol. I said I'd try to call her sometime that week.

I give her a call on Monday (I know that is soon) and no one is home. I get a call back from her later that night though. The fact that she called an unknown number back and assumed it was me has to indicate some IL. We chit chat for a while and at a high point I tell her that I have to get back to work and maybe I'll call her again later in the week.

Now I hate the rule about waiting several days to call. I know why we have it and how it works but I can't stand waiting. I feel like after the luck I drew this weekend, the more I wait to call her the more she is going to forget about it until it doesn't mean anything to her. I would be wasting that opportunity.

Also, my phone game is awful and I abhore talking on the phone. If she didn't live 90 miles away I could just pump myself into calling, chit chat, and make a date. But now I can't do that so easily. Here are my options.

1. Call her, chit chat, and see if she'll come to my town for a date.
Problems:
* Her IL would have to be enormous for her to trek 90 miles to see me for a date. It's almost insulting to even ask.
* Since her IL is probably not high enough to do that then I'll get rejected and be in a lower position.

2. Call her, chit chat, and see if I can go to her town for a date.
Problems:
* I would really look pathetic offering this.
* Even though it makes me look pathetic, she'll probably agree to this. Although if she doesn't, then I will look really really bad to offer something so AFC and still be rejected.

3. Call her every few days, chit chat, maybe someday she'll decide to make another trip to my town and we can hook up then.
* In order for this to work, I would have to consistently make phone calls to her which would be a huge pain considering how much I hate calling.
* I would have to keep her IL up over a long period of time which would be very difficult considering how bad my phone game is.


I was going to call her tonight (which is still probably too soon) but I wasn't in the mood to come up with things to talk about in preproduction and didn't have the time.
If I had to reply to my own thread I would tell myself to seek other girls. Which is what I should do, but I don't want to next her either. What do you guys suggest I do?

 

[MacDiddy]

Her IL would have to be enormous for her to trek 90 miles to see me for a date. It's almost insulting to even ask.

Promise her a night to remember, paint her a picture of what it will be like... do some EV and use it in your descriptions....

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Are you sure that wouldn't make me sound desperate?

 

[JazzPimpNYC]

You should have had this in mind before you landed her in bed, son. You may not realize it, but you took advantage of her physically and emotionally. You should have remembered that women are whimsically emotional, and from what it sounds like, she's confused about what happened that night and what she's feeling. You need to make the decision right now if you're in this one for the long haul (lol), because if not, you need to end it and apologize now.

Nobody likes to be led on.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Originally posted by JazzPimpNYC
You should have had this in mind before you landed her in bed, son. You may not realize it, but you took advantage of her physically and emotionally. You should have remembered that women are whimsically emotional, and from what it sounds like, she's confused about what happened that night and what she's feeling. You need to make the decision right now if you're in this one for the long haul (lol), because if not, you need to end it and apologize now.

Nobody likes to be led on.

I don't think this is the case at all. Maybe I didn't describe it very well. I didn't take advantage of her, she came on to me. And like a gentleman, I called her the next day. When I talked to her on the phone she seemed happy to talk to me but not thrilled, and that's good. She doesn't seem confused about anything. I don't think I should decide if I want to be in it for the "long haul" because I doubt she is ready to decide if wants that.

 

[MacDiddy]

Are you sure that wouldn't make me sound desperate?

Not if you embellish it and exagerate a little... with a bit of C&F.... the point is, you gotta have something that will make her want to travel 90 miles to see or hear.....

add a bit of mystery...
you: "theres this story I have to tell you... it'll blow your mind away...."
she: "what is it??"
you: "I can't say it over the phone... I wouldn't do it any justice"

If you sound confident over the phone, you won't be seen as desperate...

 

[JazzPimpNYC]

I understand what you are saying, but I meant that you should have thought about this before sleeping with her. I believe that the guy should take responsibility for both himself and the girl when they go in on the one-nighter. If you know that the relationship will not work whether she wants it to or not, you have to end it.

If there isn't an issue with the distance, then what is the problem? Your phone skills? I don't think you should worry about it. The only problems you have are self-imposed. Just relax and don't try to impress her. If you are truly uncomfortable on the phone, then keep them short.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Originally posted by JazzPimpNYC
I understand what you are saying, but I meant that you should have thought about this before sleeping with her. I believe that the guy should take responsibility for both himself and the girl when they go in on the one-nighter. If you know that the relationship will not work whether she wants it to or not, you have to end it.

There was no sex, if that helps. And even if there was, a ONS does not imply rules that say we have to be in a relationship or explain that we should end the relationship. I'm 23 and she's 24 so I'm sure she knew what she was doing. I don't have any reason to think that a relationship will not work but we will have to see each other more to determine if we want one.

 

[tmpgstx]

You have to wait. You want her to be 'wondering' when you're going to call, which will get her curious. It will pay back in Spades.

 

[babooya]

Dude, I was in a similar situation last wkd. and the girl also lives about 90 miles away.

Listen, invite her in ON THE WEEKEND (I know, but it is only courteous... why would she trek in during the week) and tell her you'd like to show her a good time. She'll get the idea and if she's interested, that's it.

Just ask. And initially, DO NOT go out to her town. That will not work my friend.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

You guys have made some good points. I think what I'll do is start talking about all the fun things I like to do in this town. Which will also give me something to talk about. I'll paint a good picture of a great night we could have together and then ask her if she'd like to come up to do these things.

 

[MacDiddy]

Dude!!!

Dont' ask her... just assume its already going ahead... and proceed on that basis...
This can lead to good C&F comebacks
eg..
You: "blah blah (painting nice picture her)e blah blah....Oh you'll have a wonderful time"
Her: "I not sure, its so far away"
You: "of course it is.... soooo we'll make it this saturday"
HEr: "I didn't say I'll go yet"
You: "Of course you will, so I'll put the champagne on ice at 7 so if you get here at 8 sharp it'll be ok."
HEr: hahaha... didn't you hear me..

see what I mean, just assume the sale

 

[SheepSter]

Macdiddy that's dead on, I've been using the "assuming the sale" for a while and the flake rate has gone down big time. I first let her qualify if she's adventurous/outgoing/playfull etc. Then go on about a great weekend that I planned. Then I go into the problem of who I will take along. It's really a thing of congruence because you must really show her that you will have a great time, with or without her. You actually challenge her to prove herself and come along.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Originally posted by Dapper Swindler

3. Call her every few days, chit chat, maybe someday she'll decide to make another trip to my town and we can hook up then.
* In order for this to work, I would have to consistently make phone calls to her which would be a huge pain considering how much I hate calling.
* I would have to keep her IL up over a long period of time which would be very difficult considering how bad my phone game is.

It looks like this is what I'm stuck with. I failed at my attempt to get her to come here. Its possible that she does not have a car. She told me to come visit her, which I am willing to do. So I said something like "Let me know when you're free and maybe you'll be lucky". But now I'm stuck calling her every four days or so and keeping up annoying chit chat in order to keep her IL high enough. I'm running out of things to talk about and her IL is steadily dropping no matter what if I'm not seeing her. Assuming there is no way I can get her to come here is there anything else I could be doing in this situation? Other than pursuing other women at the same time, that's a given.