Phoebe Prince suicide

[wait_out]

For those who don't know, this is a story that's slowly but surely gaining enough attention to be a kind of minor national flashpoint, as well as overseas in Ireland. Initially over bullying, this story is snowballing to include HS social culture and the responsibilities of teachers and administrators towards protecting students.

How and why Phoebe Prince's life ended at just 15 years of age is a complex story but to even begin to answer it we must return to where she grew up, in a tiny area called Ardeamish, which nestles on the Co Clare coast, between Doolin and Lisdoonvarna... For most of the last decade and a half, the younger girls lived with their parents in a picturesque house at the back of the cemetery, facing the wild Atlantic ocean.

Even as a family of "blow-ins" the Princes were well liked and are described by locals as "very decent people". Jeremy would take his pint at the local pub and Phoebe was extremely close to him. On an online blog, set up by one of her future English teachers, she described the long chats they had: "no subject is off limits... sex, drugs and rock and roll to ancient religions, politics and criminal justice." They're the words of a sensitive, intelligent young girl and Phoebe was well liked by her peers. Then, in September of last year, the family decided to move with Phoebe and Lauren to America, as they said in the death notice, "so that Phoebe could experience America and be near her family, especially her Uncle John, Auntie Eileen and cousins Brendan and Molly."

South Hadley, where they arrived, is about as far from the image of Massachusetts as an affluent Irish-Catholic enclave as it is possible to get without leaving the Bay State. It is one of several fairly grim, lower-middle-class towns that line the Connecticut River valley, about 90 miles from Boston. The locals speak with broad, flat accents. The literacy standards in the schools are below the national average. Anne rented a picket fence-fronted duplex at Newton Street, a few blocks from South Hadley High School, which Phoebe would later attend.

The Irish-born human rights academic and Obama advisor, Samantha Power, once said that her experience going from an Irish secondary school into the clique-ish "jockocracy" of an American high school had prepared her like nothing else for work in the world's most dangerous war zones. For Phoebe, the sniper fire began almost immediately. If her accent and good looks won her some novelty value she was completely unprepared for the variegated networks of alliances and rivalries that ruled the corridors of South Hadley High. The school had had a longstanding and very serious problem with bullying...

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/bullied-to-death-2098808.html

One girl in the clique that harassed Phoebe wrote 'accomplished' as her FB status shortly after her suicide. Obviously suicide is a choice, but let's not minimize how poorly humans react to hatred if they don't have the chance to be inoculated to it first. Having somebody *sincerely* hate you so much they wish for your death, and rejoice in it, is an emotionally intense experience. Think she had that in Ireland?

There's a certain apathy towards kids enforcing their own social hierarchy on each other -- however, schools are meant to enable education and this was a very clear failure. So people are pissed, which doesn't happen often at all. There are a charges coming up against students, angry parents want to target administrators, thousands of death threats against the clique on the internet, etc.

It's kind of like an Abu Ghraib scandal for these high school kids and admins, who never expected to be exposed outside of their little HS bubble. Accountability is a b1tch... what's up now?

 

[Strelok]

School must be 'held to account' in Phoebe case
Governor hits out at teachers who ignored bullied teen's plea for help

Ms Prince moved to the US with her family in autumn last year. And as early as last December, the teenager is said, for instance, to have been confronted by Sharon Velasquez in the school cafeteria, who it is alleged started screaming at her, calling her a '*****' and telling her to stay away from "people's men".

A note posted on the wall of the library, meanwhile, is said to have stated: "Irish ***** is a c***."

Three 16-year-old girls -- Ashley Longe, Sharon Channon Velazquez and Flannery Mullins -- have been charged as youths with violation of civil rights and stalking.

Three others -- Sean Mulveyhill, 17, Austin Renaud, 18, and Kayla Narey, 17 -- have been charged as adults with similar offences. In the case of Mulveyhill and Renaud, charges of statutory rape have also been brought.

More here:

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/americas/school-must-be-held-to-account-in-phoebe-case-2133650.html

Does calling a girl ***** sIut where **** is a nationality/ethnicity/race/religion is still heavy discriminatory or it doesn't work with nice people who only care about their stuff?
Does it needs the tv or the press to wake up authorities?

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

American high schools are outdated institutions.

Kids are more concerned with following the crowd than being educated.

It's funny, because very few kids in high school have the ability to think for themselves. And this translated into adults who don't have the ability to think for themselves (i.e., they vote for the popular candidate with no research, read whatever Harry Potter is popular at the moment, etc...)

And it's sad because these kids gain their identity from the cliques they belong to. In reality they assume the identity of the group (where as they *think* they are expressing their individualism.)

And for the most part, these groups are shallow and superficial. They place more importance on the image of the group than personal development. (I'm not saying image isn't important, because I believe it is. I'm talking superficial on other levels.)

This is another reason (along with feminism/emasculation of men) why America is f'ed.

You can bet that if I allow my kids to attend high school they will be there to learn. And I can only hope that I can instill in my kids how vital it is that they be weary of group mentality. But the truth is, 90% of people don't have the strength and/or ability to leave the group behind.

 

[Desert Fox]

Here's my take on it.

1. Bullying shouldn't be tolerated. Schools need to do a better job to make sure this kind of thing like physical abuse isn't going on. I remember reading somewhere they were physically abusing her and two guys were accused of statutory rape? What the f*ck is wrong with kids these days? (yeah I sound old). However, this is kind of a pointless complaint since the school admins are too damn incompetent to do anything about this even if they had all the resources they needed. So basically its up to the kids and parents now.

2. Parents need to pay attention to their kids more. Both on the bullying end and the victim's end. If your kids don't trust you as a parent then you're screwed from the very beginning. At that point all the other f*ck ups in the school system inevitable will influence your child for the majority of the day...more influence than you will have. Then bad sh1t will happen.

3. Bottom line. Mentally stable people don't kill themselves. In the end everyone has a choice and she chose to kill herself. Yes the bullying played a role, but I know kids in high school that were bullied pretty bad, but they still went to school everyday, did their work, got their belongings trashed, got their money stolen, publicly humiliated, even beaten up a few times etc and they are still alive. I remember one kid who was just a smaller and fatter kid than the rest of us and people picked on him for no real reason other than that. Racial slurs were used, he got pushed around almost daily, but he didn't give in and kill himself.

 

[iqqi]

It's funny, because very few kids in high school have the ability to think for themselves. And this translated into adults who don't have the ability to think for themselves (i.e., they vote for the popular candidate with no research, read whatever Harry Potter is popular at the moment, etc...)

And it's sad because these kids gain their identity from the cliques they belong to. In reality they assume the identity of the group (where as they *think* they are expressing their individualism.)

And for the most part, these groups are shallow and superficial. They place more importance on the image of the group than personal development. (I'm not saying image isn't important, because I believe it is. I'm talking superficial on other levels.)

I see this at work. It is extremely alarming to watch a group of grown people, women mostly but men are just as guilty, act like they are in middle school. It is all about fitting in, "being cool", drinking and talking **** about other people, and anyone with a unique personality is regarded with hostility.

I see it in younger adults who haven't really grown up yet, but it's definitely something you can still find in even the middle to upper middle age.

I am grateful sometimes that I was an only child who moved around a lot and came from such a crazy backround. I don't mind not "fitting in" with the crowd. The only problem is that I have such a disdain for people who sacrifice any individualism to do so.


As far as the girl, I think it is VERY SAD, very sad.

That age is such a critical time in a person's life, it doesn't mean she was mentally unstable. Most children at that age are unstable, mentally and emotionally.

 

[Maxtro]

From reading the article, the school administrators do have some responsibility.

Fleeing to the bathroom, Ms Prince is said to have been pursued by Flannery Mullins who witnesses say proceeded to shout at her, calling her an 'Irish slut'. It was a term of abuse that would be heard in the school's corridors repeatedly in the weeks leading up to Ms Prince's death, prosecutors say.

This lasted for weeks. Did any of the staff pull aside the girls who were yelling at Phoebe?

Another issue is that this was all about sex. 15 year old cute Irish girl comes to America and quickly starts having sex.

Popular and attractive, Ms Prince quickly drew the attention of the school's football star, Sean Mulveyhill 18, and later of Austin Renaud 17.

The main girl who was harassing Phoebe had dated one of those guys while her friend had dated the other.

I'm not trying to defend anything, but should a 15 year old girl really go around sleeping like this?

 

[wait_out]

I'm not trying to defend anything, but should a 15 year old girl really go around sleeping like this?

Big, big mistake on her part, but more so because she got tangled up in a very nasty alpha hierarchy than anything else. That's a certain risk to sex which doesn't really get talked about during "use condoms" sex-ed.

I think the only way to really stop harassment/persecution by cliques is to attach a price to it. Violence doesn't solve all problems, but it does serve a certain kind of problem. Here's my justification:

It's now recognized that aggressiveness is most often used as a means of asserting dominance to gain control or protect status. Aggression is not simply a breakdown or lapse of social skills. Rather, many acts of aggression require highly attuned social skills to pull off...

This completely changes the game for parents. When parents attempt to teach their seven-year old daughter that it's wrong to exclude, spread rumors, or hit, they are literally attempting to take away from the child several useful tools of social dominance. "This behavior is rewarded in peer groups," observed Cillessen, "and you can say as a parent, 'don't do this', but the immediate rewards are very powerful."

I have no trouble believing kids would torment another kid to suicide, and then laugh at the result with no remorse. If kids are bullying because they want the social payoff rather than that they're troubled kids -- getting the sh1t kicked out of you removes the reward from the equation, which ends bullying. It makes no sense to choose a hard target over a soft one, which Phoebe was.

Unfortunately her parents didn't prepare her to defend herself and nobody else did sh1t for her either. What a shame she didn't have a teacher who could have taught her a lesson like this. Those are all coping methods, though. Whether we want to live in socially darwinistic society is a bigger question.