"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Personality

Quiksilver

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This is a topic that's rarely discussed here.

I have abit of an issue, that I noticed has been burning me quite afew times with the ladies.

My personality is fine, or so I think. Like, I'm a great guy and all that, but the way my personality is constructed doesn't seem to work too well. I've been told by a few girls now too, so I started to wonder.

Anyways on to the problem.

Several girls have told me I'm "Too Nice" or something along those lines. The way my personality is arranged is that I have a very nice/friendly exterior, and when people get to know me only then do they see my harder side, the leader and dominant side. So, when quite afew girls first get to know me(i ask them out/flirt/etc), they always comment on how I'm "too nice" so any sort of attraction/seduction appears desperate or places them on a pedestal, when in reality, I couldn't give a fvck.

This explains why in the seduction stage of a relationship and me asking them out, I tend to get rejected, at that point most "nice guys" would keep trying, but I just move on as I should. So, only at this point do chicks actually see that I'm a real man and not some puppy dog. (I've mentioned before on these forums about how many of the girls who rejected me initially, end up crawling back to me on their knees begging for some, practically).

So, the issue that I want advice on is whether a soft exterior/hard interior is really the way to go?


---------

I'm putting some more thought into this and realize how true it really is. It also explains why I've ended up attracting so many of my female friends. In fact, almost every female friend I've had has been pretty sexually aggressive(doing most of the initiating) towards me.

I'm not exactly sure how to restructure a personality though...Just conscious thought? I'll spend acouple weeks trying some stuff out, and approach afew girls to see if it changes anything.

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This is a big issue, because many guys although they might be confident/manly/"alpha"(for lack of a better word), do not exude these things on the surface, and start the seduction process on the back foot.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jay Jay

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i don't think you need to 'restructure your personality.'

sounds like you are doing fine.

i'd just point out there is no 'seduction phase of the relaitionship.' the seduction phase should be constant. if you are attracted you should be conveying sexuality from the very beginning.

and

it is very common to NEXT and then find the girl coming back to you. just learn to shut the door on em but leave it unlocked so when they do go 'oh no, that really nice guy, he wasn't a ***** at all, he was a genuine great guy. he has too much respect for himself... oh i wish i hadn't played those games, i wonder if he's still interested...' you can still grab em without going back on your word or decision.

jj
 

Dannyrt34

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Try it the other way around, hard exterior/soft interior

A guy that's well in control of himself, and likes to tease (hard exterior). Who has a big heart deep down and can still do nice things every now and then (soft interior) is irrestistable to women.
 

TruthHurts

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Dannyrt34 said:
Try it the other way around, hard exterior/soft interior

A guy that's well in control of himself, and likes to tease (hard exterior). Who has a big heart deep down and can still do nice things every now and then (soft interior) is irrestistable to women.
Dito....
 

HUFFY2

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how the hell would you guys know? what experiences do you have with women instead of typing up theories about them on sosuave?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TruthHurts

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HUFFY2 said:
how the hell would you guys know? what experiences do you have with women instead of typing up theories about them on sosuave?
Thats why you got banned...

instead of insulting other posters... present your argument,,, i.e. your argument here is that the posters would not know the answer because you question what experience they had with a women, in fact u claim none, and is all typed up theories...

then present an analysis, conclusion and possibly suggest a solution... :wave:
 

HUFFY2

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a solution?

here it is, stop being fake!

you just made a thread about the way that you learn how to get women is by discussing it! wtf?

i don't know why i got banned, why do guys get banned here? hell, i don't think i did anything wrong to be banned, you got banned before too, what did you do?

all i am saying, is that if this site is so great, then why are most of the guys still struggling here, by posting threads that show they still really have no clue on how to get women, and still are having the same problems they started with?

then, why are all the posters that give advice, why are they bascially people that should not be giving advice? they should be out and living life and just doing what they say, instead of preaching it.

that's what i am saying, why is this site liek this?

like last man standing, he's 40 years old, and all he says is women are h0rs, and that's all he says. i track this guy, he logs in every night and posts here. he obviously has no life, he even said he had no girlfriend right now, so why is this guy a mentor or a poster giving advice? i don't want to be 40 years old and still posting here, i want to be damn near settling down by then, wtf?
 

TruthHurts

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Cause no one will ever fully understand a "woman" its a hormonal animal.. one always can improve his game...

I live my life.... love it.... love sarging...

quesiton... How many girls a day do you talk to ?
 

Tha Realnezz

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Focus on your look,your approach and stop hanging out with women you aren't interested in boning.

Unless you're former lovers and your still close,they are hot girls used for social proof, or related of course.You should really stop worrying about them or even talking to them all together as far as i'm concerned.

And you'll have way better results.

I'm not telling to be an ******* that just goes after the sluts.

But you might want to put girls on notice that you're interested in other women.Be late for a couple dates on purpose,talk to other girls on a date,flirt right infront of them,not call for a few days straight or return messages,flat out ignore girls that give you sh!t..

I'm not saying be a prick and use them only for sex but truth is being a nice guy goes nowhere with women unless you're in a relationship or want one.

That guys that just want the sex usually get that PLUS the girl afterwards.

True story.

Adjusting into a more sexual being is the key.
 
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