persistent arguing with gf!

[Rampage1]

"unless you change your ways...100%.." i'm done!

Just got that txt from my gf of a year and a half there now after a big bust-up at my 21st party last night.

For this past few months we have been arguing far too often for a healthy couple. She is a very headstrong and opinionated girl and that often leads to many arguments as I too am very proud, headstrong and have plenty of opinions! She is easily offended and I feel I have to watch what I say around her in case I hurt her feelings which has added tension to the relationship over the past few months! On top of that she (like any girl) needs plenty of attention and loveliness from myself, I do try my best but sometimes I am not up to it and she gets annoyed at me which again starts arguments!

All these things have led me get frustrated in the relationship and it has wore down as a result. Of course I have painted a very one-sided picture of her as she can be a little 'dote' at times too and for the majority we are happy together!

Last night, with alcohol involved, we took a bus to a nightclub for my 21st! Very good night but halfway through the night she starts yapping at me for not giving her enough attention, which may have been true but it was my ****ing 21st and I was just having fun with friends! We then argue over it and she storms off, leaving me too look for her for the rest for the night..pretty ****ty 21st!!On the way home we never spoke and at the end she shouted at me for not getting the taxi driver to leave her home first...i then basically ****ed her off and was a **** to her but was really annoyed with her and pretty drunk too!

today she is saying it was all my fault, and that I need to change 100% or else we're done. however, she conveniently seems to reject any responsibility for her actions of not only last night but of the last few months as a whole!!!

advice please from someone who actually knows something about real relationships! thanks

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Tell her you are willing to change for her and then just avoid arguing about the stupid little things you argue about. Some things, you'll realize, you are better off dealing with, then fighting about all the time and eventually losing her over.

 

[Warrior74]

Yah...she's acts a bytch on your birthday and its your fault? WTF! ..that sucks. Honestly, it would probably piss me off and she would get cursed out for acting that way. I'd probably be a complete asshat to her. Of course I'm not saying thats the right thing to do..that would just be my natural reaction.

She accepts no responsibility eh? This is important. Whatever you do, don't go accepting responsibility for everything..she'll put it all on you and never recant. My ex did that to me at the end. It was all my fault, even her cheating was my fault.

You have to ask yourself if you still want to be in this relationship. She is making a freaking powergrab here. 'Change your ways 100%' = bow down to me and let me rule you. Submit to me. You are a man! It's a woman's role to submit. This is the hugest shyt test of your relationship and will determine what happens with you two.

I say, if you bow down and submit, you may get to live in your cage for a while longer. I say that eventually (if she hasn't already) she will begin to slow the rate of sex, she will want more and more power over you and dominate your life, you will be walking on eggshells 247, she will cheat on you with some bad boy and then break up with you.

I say if you don't submit, if you grab your balls and live your own life and allow her the option of being in your life, she will either choose to stay, or leave. If she stays things probably will get better, if she leaves, honestly...you dodged a prison.

Do your hobbies, spend time with your friends. Dress and groom your best all the time. Have a pleasant demeanor, don't respond to her hysterics, stay calm cool and collected at all times. Pull back on the time you spend with her (don't tell her your doing it...just do it). Give her the gift of missing you. Meet women, prepare to branch swing outta this situation buddy. Get your game face on. She's gonna either panic and try to keep you around, or give up and do some stupid to blow the relationship up.

 

[Axcell]

This happens pretty much in all relationships. Never admit you are wrong - once you submit to her and give her all the power in the relationship early on, it's too late. (Which seems to have happened already.)

What you should have done was gotten mad at her first, and YOU should have been the one to say all those things to her. It's only as a big deal as you make it..

 

[suavesuave]

Next

 

[falcon814]

That doesnt sound good..

Id next her.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Is your drinking apart of the problem? I know when I started drinking more me and my ex started arguing more. That might not be the reason in your case. But, it could be something you did or are doing to make her b!tchy. If you feel you haven't done anything wrong. Something is wrong with her.

Ask her in what ways you need to change. If they are rediculous requests than forget about her.

 

[The Forms]

The two of you need to learn how to effectively argue as a couple. Arguments are seldom about what you THINK they are about. The two of you are bull headed and (it seems) are more worried about being RIGHT than worrying about how to smooth this thing out. You have to cut out that type of thinking, otherwise you're doomed to unfulfilling relationships.

There's a book that pretty much every man should read, called "The New Male Sexuality" by Bernie Zilbergeld. It's a doorstop of a book (I mean, this book takes some TIME to read). Most of it is about understanding how to be in a relationship. How to smooth out fights and things like that. After you read this you are fluent in woman-ese. When a girl blows her stack like this you will be able to figure out what she's trying to say, instead of what she's actually saying.

This site is all about how to attract a girl, and "The New Male Sexuality" is all about how to keep her around and happy. There's also a lot of great stuff about how to think about sex to make it much more fulfilling and less stressful. This book is worth it's weight in gold. It's been around for awhile, so your public library will have a copy. Do yourself a favor and read it. It'll save you so much of this type of fighting.

 

[Rampage1]

There's a book that pretty much every man should read, called "The New Male Sexuality" by Bernie Zilbergeld. It's a doorstop of a book (I mean, this book takes some TIME to read). Most of it is about understanding how to be in a relationship. How to smooth out fights and things like that. After you read this you are fluent in woman-ese. When a girl blows her stack like this you will be able to figure out what she's trying to say, instead of what she's actually saying.

This site is all about how to attract a girl, and "The New Male Sexuality" is all about how to keep her around and happy. There's also a lot of great stuff about how to think about sex to make it much more fulfilling and less stressful. This book is worth it's weight in gold. It's been around for awhile, so your public library will have a copy. Do yourself a favor and read it. It'll save you so much of this type of fighting.

yeah we really need to stop arguing and learn how to communicate better. She said she is envious of my sister as her bf treats her like a princess and that I am a **** bf sometimes. In my opinion I am a great bf but I am definately not a slave bf that she maybe wants me to be! she is extremly thoughtful and always doing little things for me but im not that way inclined, though I am definately better than average!

any thoughts on this?

At the minute we are still together, but need to sort something out quickly. I am thinking of just telling her straight out what I want her to change and then she can tell me what I need to change! any thoughts on this?

 

[nubian-knight]

yeah we really need to stop arguing and learn how to communicate better. She said she is envious of my sister as her bf treats her like a princess and that I am a **** bf sometimes. In my opinion I am a great bf but I am definately not a slave bf that she maybe wants me to be! she is extremly thoughtful and always doing little things for me but im not that way inclined, though I am definately better than average!

any thoughts on this?

At the minute we are still together, but need to sort something out quickly. I am thinking of just telling her straight out what I want her to change and then she can tell me what I need to change! any thoughts on this?

man my gf WAS the same way
she is fairly inexperianced with relationships and sees her friends stupid bfs doing every little think at their beck and call and dropping hundreds on gifts for them for no occasion.

my gf is not greedy but women never grow up in some ways. they see other girls getting that treatment and think to themselves "why isnt my bf doing that"

when in reality when you do act like that, they lose all respect for you. But they arent conciously aware of this fact.

when my gf was bugging me to buy her gifts and quoting "but (insert friends names) boyfriend bought her a coach purse!" i simple laid out the law. gifts are for special occasions and being with me is not about material possession. if you dont like it, too bad, your welcome to walk away

she hasnt left and i doubt she will. hold your ground and make it clear how you are, dont even pay attention to those other "Slave boyfriends" their poisoning this generations womens minds

 

[DonGorgon]

....and that I need to change 100% or else we're done.

IF YOU CARE ABIOUT HER - You counter that with "you change your ways 50% AN I WILL CHANGE 50% TYHEN WE CAN MEET IN THE MIDDLE AND MAKE THIS WORK"

IF YOU DONT CAR - "NAH I SAY WE ARE DONE NOW... BYE"