"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Persistant Planning

Yookiwooki

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 21, 2007
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N. Andover
I've had the feeling that I'm not in control how I spend my time.

I procrastinated until the last minute on tasks. I'd never really finish tasks with quality, and I always felt so guilty about procrastinating that I wouldn't enjoy the time I spent to put off getting to it.

Putting off the things that I needed to finish has crippled my confidence. How can you be confident if you have no control of your actions? This lack of confidence has destroyed my game, and my life.

Frustrated, I wrote down what I wanted to accomplish for the coming week, and composed a schedule that outlined when I could finish these tasks. Each day that week, I wrote what I had planned, when I planned to do it, and when I actually did it. I also wrote a brief journal entry.

It was the first time that I wrote down my goals and thought about how I could reach them.

This helped me to finish tasks without cramming it all in at the last minute. When I wanted to change something, I changed it on the schedule and wrote my rationale for the change.

Although I became lazy by the end of the week with my schedule, I felt that I should continue. This week, I've been able to stick with the schedule and I'm feeling like I'm finally in control.

It may have been obvious, but I found that writing down how I wanted to spend my time has helped me to make the most of it. I can set goals and actually trust myself to accomplish them.

That's confidence.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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