I went through the same questions a while back when I found this site as well. Take these threads as advice. Read them, understand what they're saying, really get something out of them, and add tack that info on to your already growing ball of knowledge that is woman and being a man. These are general tips and advice that are awesome to have, but every situation is different. The important thing is to learn what to use, when to use it, and how. These are all things that come with time/trial and error. There is no easy answer or direct procedure to becoming a man/being good with women. Eventually you'll start to see and understand your own take on things and what works/doesn't work for you. Be confident in your abilities, but always have an open ear to new ideas.Enryu said:Again one of these posts which are logical make sense but are in the way of other posts :/
it is really confusing should you next her when she denies?yes or no?
Some ppl say that you come off needy when you call more than once when she already denied a date while you (and others) say that you actually should call a few times
I guess you have to find your own tactic
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Persistance and Confidence: How to Overcome Flaky Behavior
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MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
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I've been persistent with aq girl but remember, don't 'quit' cause you get butthurt that she's not reciprocating the way you'd like. 'Give up' because you naturally get bored with the chase. It's her fault if the chase gets boring, and don't ever get angry or whatever, just say to yourself oh well no biggie.
Chasing is fun, but it's never meant to go on indefinitely. It should get boring after a while, so LET it get boring. Don't tell yourself "But REAL MEN persue, that's what she wants! So I'm gonna KEEP ON KEEPING ON!"
No, don't let your ego rest upon the fact that you pursue indefinitely. If a girl keeps saying maybe maybe maybe and dates never seem to happen, then EVEN THOUGH she never said 'no', that doesn't mean this is worth anyone's while.
Basically, don't forget all the other important stuff, like other fish in the sea, her needing to show signs of interest while shes playing hard to get, and so forth.
Chasing is fun, but it's never meant to go on indefinitely. It should get boring after a while, so LET it get boring. Don't tell yourself "But REAL MEN persue, that's what she wants! So I'm gonna KEEP ON KEEPING ON!"
No, don't let your ego rest upon the fact that you pursue indefinitely. If a girl keeps saying maybe maybe maybe and dates never seem to happen, then EVEN THOUGH she never said 'no', that doesn't mean this is worth anyone's while.
Basically, don't forget all the other important stuff, like other fish in the sea, her needing to show signs of interest while shes playing hard to get, and so forth.
This is an excellent post and it sounds great on the surface. In reality it does not really work this way. Most girls that you end up sexually/ romantically involved with are usually head over heals for you from the outset and make it obvious. There are exceptions, but this is the norm. Girls know within the first interaction with you whether or not they want you. They may mask it at first but if you next them, they will come looking for you. This is why nexting is such a powerful tool. If a girl is interested she will make is obvious sooner or later, one way or the other. Most girls in this day of sexual liberation (even good girls) make it quite obvious.
Look back at your own experiences with women. I am sure that you will find that most women who ended up as your gf's or fb's pretty much had a high interest level in you initially. You can not convince a hot girl to like you. The rules may change for ugly looking girls because they kinda settle. But hot girls have WAY too many options. You next a hot girl who doesn't have a high interest level.
HERE IS THE TRICKY PART
This doesn't mean that you can not EVENTUALLY makeout/do it with a girl who is not interested in you. This does happen from time to time (its very rare). Its more of a right time/ right place/ the stars lined up perfectly type of thing (ending up alone in a room with her at a party or sumthin for example). In this case her lack of interest is negated by the convenience. She is still not genuinely interested in you and pursuing a relationship with a girl like this would be a waste of time. A girl can find you physically tolerable and maybe even a little attractive, but this is different from her feeling that "chemistry" with you.
Look back at your own experiences with women. I am sure that you will find that most women who ended up as your gf's or fb's pretty much had a high interest level in you initially. You can not convince a hot girl to like you. The rules may change for ugly looking girls because they kinda settle. But hot girls have WAY too many options. You next a hot girl who doesn't have a high interest level.
HERE IS THE TRICKY PART
This doesn't mean that you can not EVENTUALLY makeout/do it with a girl who is not interested in you. This does happen from time to time (its very rare). Its more of a right time/ right place/ the stars lined up perfectly type of thing (ending up alone in a room with her at a party or sumthin for example). In this case her lack of interest is negated by the convenience. She is still not genuinely interested in you and pursuing a relationship with a girl like this would be a waste of time. A girl can find you physically tolerable and maybe even a little attractive, but this is different from her feeling that "chemistry" with you.
If she finds you physically attractive but no chemistry, then maybe (i stress the maybe) you will be able to hook up with her physically if she has nothing better to do and she is extremely horny (aka at a party with drinks). But this is not true chemistry. Chemistry can not be negotiated, she either feels it or not guys. If your pursuing a girl who is giving mixed signals the best policy is to next her. If she was masking her interest she will come back to you. Being in a relationship with a girl that had to think about if she liked you is alot of hard work and its not worth it. NEXT!!
There is a big difference in a girl initially making out with you, and then playing little game compared to a girl who barely wants you to touch her and never returns your calls. The first girl who made out with you made it obvious she liked you and is just playing stupid chick games. The girl that even by the third date doesn't want to kiss you is almost a lost cause.
There is a big difference in a girl initially making out with you, and then playing little game compared to a girl who barely wants you to touch her and never returns your calls. The first girl who made out with you made it obvious she liked you and is just playing stupid chick games. The girl that even by the third date doesn't want to kiss you is almost a lost cause.
This is what i am talking about. I am sure that initial hook up session happened pretty quickly after meeting her. Maybe within a couple of interactions. It wasn't too hard to get. She made it obvious. The stuff after that was stupid girl games. In this case persistence was valid. If she hadn't hooked up with you even after like 3 or 4 interactions, then u next her. Its takes a lot of experience and a lot of putting aside your ego to develop a sense of when you should persist or not.
FutureSpartan
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Agreed 100%Pandora said:
Watch her actions, not her words....if you have done your job as a man approaching her, talking to her, and making the initial moves towards intimacy, and she is still making it difficult or impossible to move things forward, then she is simply demonstrating she is not all that interested in you as a sexual partner.
Remember, that same woman you're spending weeks trying to get her to see you probably f*cked the hot stud on spring break after only an hour of knowing him. Be THAT guy.
great post but I'm confused. Here's an example. This cutie that I just went out with... initially went out and she seemed really interested. then a few days later I asked her out again she said ok call me. Then when I tried to make plans she was busy and didn't offer another time. Now I'm starting to think she was never attracted in the first place like 50 days of summer.
Gonna read tomorrow.
Just wanted to say; I'm in this online game and I'm practicing some 'confidence' moves. This girl keeps wanting to do her own thing, we are alone together and she gets up and leaves the tent to see if I'm going to come after her. Then when I don't, she comes back and sits back down beside me.
I met her yesterday (or the day before) and she seemed horny. I tried to have sex with her but got only halfway. She then wanted to 'go swimming' and some other guy (from her guild) joined us. I asked her to make him leave, when she refused I left myself. Then the guy left her and she felt lonely, but I said too bad.
The next day I sent her an email telling her to meet up with me. I was actually scared of doing it, but she responded with effort and eagerness. I tried being 'the gentleman' after I had tried to push her the day before.
So we're meeting up and she keeps trying to set the agenda herself. The first time I fell for it, I didn't know what she was up to. She didn't want to get on my 'mount' (call it my car) and she decided she wanted to walk to the place we were going herself. I went along with it. Then she had to get on my mount anyway because she couldn't get to that place by foot. (Made her a bit of a fool? Or me? I dunno.)
I kept telling her to sit down with me, to undress, etc. She kept moving away. Kept asking "why?" When she moved away, I would just move after her and sit down with her again. Or, I would let her move away, then stay put myself, which caused her to move back closer to me after a while. In the end, she sat down in front of me in an intimate way and I 'kissed' her and she didn't resist.
When I told her I liked her being 'naked' she said "you're not gonna see that". I then said "That's because my eyes are already hurting because of your dazzling beauty." Then she went out, took off her clothes, and came back in to dance for me.
I know it's just a game, and you can't do anything serious, you can't kino, there is no eye contact, it's just a tuned down version of reality, but this girl is playing her game no less, and I'm playing my game as well.
Call it silly, but it's the first time I've ever 'dated' a girl. A girl that's playing a hard-to-get game.
The one thing I kept repeating in my head all this time was "I'm the most comfortable person in the room here." It kept me from saying wussy things, stupid things, 'nice' things. It's just a game, but it's difficult for me. I'm doing well though now.
Why I post in this thread; the main theme of my interaction with her was me telling her what to do ("come here, sit down, undress"), with her trying to say no each and every time ("why?", "I'm going out"), with me being persistent (or trying to) in a comfortable way, just keeping it up, keeping her to tell what i wanted her to do, not getting wussy when she asked "why", not being afraid to force myself onto her when it was needed, etc.
I must say it's a whole lotta game :-/. Never done anything like this before. It is truly a game like you guys say.
"I AM COMFORTABLE."
Btw, what is "nexting"?
Just wanted to say; I'm in this online game and I'm practicing some 'confidence' moves. This girl keeps wanting to do her own thing, we are alone together and she gets up and leaves the tent to see if I'm going to come after her. Then when I don't, she comes back and sits back down beside me.
I met her yesterday (or the day before) and she seemed horny. I tried to have sex with her but got only halfway. She then wanted to 'go swimming' and some other guy (from her guild) joined us. I asked her to make him leave, when she refused I left myself. Then the guy left her and she felt lonely, but I said too bad.
The next day I sent her an email telling her to meet up with me. I was actually scared of doing it, but she responded with effort and eagerness. I tried being 'the gentleman' after I had tried to push her the day before.
So we're meeting up and she keeps trying to set the agenda herself. The first time I fell for it, I didn't know what she was up to. She didn't want to get on my 'mount' (call it my car) and she decided she wanted to walk to the place we were going herself. I went along with it. Then she had to get on my mount anyway because she couldn't get to that place by foot. (Made her a bit of a fool? Or me? I dunno.)
I kept telling her to sit down with me, to undress, etc. She kept moving away. Kept asking "why?" When she moved away, I would just move after her and sit down with her again. Or, I would let her move away, then stay put myself, which caused her to move back closer to me after a while. In the end, she sat down in front of me in an intimate way and I 'kissed' her and she didn't resist.
When I told her I liked her being 'naked' she said "you're not gonna see that". I then said "That's because my eyes are already hurting because of your dazzling beauty." Then she went out, took off her clothes, and came back in to dance for me.
I know it's just a game, and you can't do anything serious, you can't kino, there is no eye contact, it's just a tuned down version of reality, but this girl is playing her game no less, and I'm playing my game as well.
Call it silly, but it's the first time I've ever 'dated' a girl. A girl that's playing a hard-to-get game.
The one thing I kept repeating in my head all this time was "I'm the most comfortable person in the room here." It kept me from saying wussy things, stupid things, 'nice' things. It's just a game, but it's difficult for me. I'm doing well though now.
Why I post in this thread; the main theme of my interaction with her was me telling her what to do ("come here, sit down, undress"), with her trying to say no each and every time ("why?", "I'm going out"), with me being persistent (or trying to) in a comfortable way, just keeping it up, keeping her to tell what i wanted her to do, not getting wussy when she asked "why", not being afraid to force myself onto her when it was needed, etc.
I must say it's a whole lotta game :-/. Never done anything like this before. It is truly a game like you guys say.
"I AM COMFORTABLE."
Btw, what is "nexting"?