Persevere through her flaking

[bigneil]

I think people here are too quick to write off women who don't go exactly according to plan from Day 1.

With new women we should expect major resistance, not flee when it happens.

I just had a second date from a girl whose first date was 8 weeks ago. In the middle I wrote her off and had 30 days of NC but she wrote to me last week and I saw her tonight. It couldn't have been a better date.

With my last 3 relationships there was love at first sight but a similar period of early resistance.

Most hot girls are flaky in the first 2 months and it's good to learn to persevere through it when there are early signs of interest. I think a huge key is to walk away and give up pursuit. Then, if and when they write to you, you're in. If they don't, it still doesn't hurt to drop a line. Sometimes they lose their phone and are happy to hear from you.

 

[Zerro]

Agreed. The girl I'm currently dating flaked on me back in February, I didn't try again until April and that time she went through with it. Three weeks later she asked me out for the 2nd date and then the 3rd, 4th, and so on happened rapidly as things took off.

Sometimes it might just not have been good timing when you first tried.

 

[DonJuanabe]

As the judge would say -- spin plates. Sounds like that's what you guys were doing.

 

[bigneil]

Well people will often say to delete a number rather than move on to a new plate. No sense it deleting a contact, but sometimes deleting all their messages helps.

One reason to have multiple plates is that you probably won't get your #1 plate because you care too much. Meanwhile, the #2 plate, often even hotter than your oneitis, gets treated as second best which is why they fall for you. Then you often find they become your new oneitis.

 

[MisterD]

I admit I have a problem plate spinning. Not lack of meeting women or anything like that, but when I pick a target, I throw myself into it fully.

So I get exhausted with being at the top of my game for one particular girl that it's hard to give the same effort to multiples.

Anyway, to stay on topic--yeah, I look at it as a math formula.

If you get chumpy and write a girl off after one flake, your odds of banging her have dropped to 0%, whereas, if you stay cool, and stay the course, you have a 50/50 shot of banging her. 50% compared to 0%

I don't ever *totally* write a chick off unless for good reason. Something like a flake or a display of low interest?, no problem. Go NC, focus on other ladies, come back around a few weeks or months later to check up on her. You lose nothing by doing that.

 

[bigneil]

I admit I have a problem plate spinning... but when I pick a target, I throw myself into it fully.

That's my issue also. At work it's called a context switch when you change tasks, and it takes a lot of energy.