Performance anxiety and maintaining frame afterwards

[Herb]

Go no fap, if you havent already. It tends to help

But then that might lead to another problem, of not lasting long enough... Maybe don't do it for a long time, like over a week, and then do it the day you meet her so you don't finish in like 5 or 10 minutes. But then again most people get to the point where they can control themselves in sex, kind of like riding a bike; you don't really forget.

What I thought was performance anxiety in one or two cases was more just because I wasn't into certain girls (combined with crappy condoms). The problem fixed itself when I moved onto more attractive women. Also, birth control is a wonderful thing .

edit- interestingly, viagra is something that can help both people with ED issues and those with premature ejaculation problems. Not only does it help one get and maintain it easier, it also makes you last longer, though the feeling might not be as intense. I used it once, after a friend gave me some of his pop's; it may be useful to get out of this rut and back into a normal sexual routine, restoring confidence. But don't become dependent on it as a crutch. Also, viagra doesn't just instantly give you a hard-on; you still need sexual/mental stimulation or arousal of some kind, or nothing will happen.

 

[Juanto]

But then that might lead to another problem, of not lasting long enough

Practice, practice, practice. You will control it at will, dont worry. But yes, no fap does help to last longer, not less. Erections get harder and longer.

 

[Roober]

oh my! Just when I was thinking this doesn't happen to me, it happened!

Went on a date with HB7, ended up back at her place, and she says "so you want to come in for a night cap?" I am thinking "duh", but I say "sure" (feel like I should have said something slicker, as it made me feel stupid... haha). Anyway, make out pretty heavily till about 230am. I keep pushing to get in her room and we eventually move in there. So I basically get her naked, and.... I got a halfie... Fortunately, I had to leave at 315 to get home, shower and be at work at 5am. She just got my pants off, and I was like... "$hit".... "you have to go to work?"... "yes....."..... sigh.... I felt like she was noticeably upset, lol....

So, while we were making out, it just wasn't doing it for me. It was weird, then near the I just lost it completely....

-Was I distracted thinking about leaving for work?
-Alcohol? I was about 3 drinks in
-I actually thought of my main plate and how wild the sex is... this girl wasn't nearly as fun... distraction?
-She was not incredibly responsive, I just could not seem to hit the right buttons... could that be it?

I dunno... just funny to think about now, especially cause I think she noticed...


It was weird, cause went on a first date with this cute peruvian chick earlier in the day, and while we made out, I had zero issues...

 

[Asbury]

Urghh, my problem has come back! After a month or so of confident sex, I can't seem to be be able to get it up again with a new girl. She absolutely blows my mind and I would like things to go well. It's 3 nights now we haven't had sex - I've had a semi each night but struggle to be erect enough. I'm starting to become a little obsessive about it and know that I need to get out of the cycle. I just can't remember how I did it last time! I look back on previous successful sex and I realised that I would barely even think about how strong my erection was and I would just do it. This is the answer, stop thinking = everything will be ok. I just need to get to this stage. Any tips?

 

[Juanto]

Have you stopped watching porn and fapping?

 

[wonderer]

Happened to me last week. Always seems to happen for the first time with a new girl. Kicking myself now because this girl was hot and now she wants nothing to do with me, if I ****ed her right she couldve been around still.

Ive stopped watching porn and fapping, I was an addict but never seemed to stop me from going hard, maybe putting to much pressure on the situation (No pun intended)