Perfectly Messed Up Situation

[Paid Laid & Made]

Hey Guys.

Here is an update in my continuing saga of my EX's best friend. We spent last night together and we started off the evening by hanging out at my pool area. Conversation was great and we could both communicate with each other perfectly for about 2 hours. When she talks its actually interesting and I have not gotten bored once so far.

We then proceeded into my bedroom, I had arranged for her to spend the night. She looked around checked out my crib. Most impressive item was my TV, according to her. We both sat down, I took my computer desk chair while she took my bed. She wanted us to play video games (XBOX), we did for about 5 minutes and then decided to watch American Wedding. I was about to sit back in my chair when she laid on her back on my bed and was like, you can sit with me over here. I did and she held my hand for about 2 hours while American Wedding was playing.

After the movie, I decided to go for the makeout. She is completely into makeing out, but suddenly grabs me into a hug and is like ... "This is so wrong". The entire situation with the EX made her feel dirty and she felt like she was betraying her best friend. I keep my cool and discuss the situation with her for a solid hour. Growing impatient and having to go do stuff in the morning, I tell her that have to get to bed, its about 3 in the morning. I am about to sleep on the floor and she just tells me to sleep with her in my bed (single person). She puts her arm on me and is tight against my back and whispers into my ear that she will have made a decision by the morning.

We get up the next morning and I ask her while driving her back to her place. She ignores the question in a female sort of way. I decided to keep my cool. She tells me that I should guess... I told her that I would not be surprised if she would rather stay friends with my EX and split up with me. This I later found out, ticked her off. She is about to get out of the car and is like "We'll just keep it a secret, nobody really needs to know". I wore a hat and take it off to go for a kiss and DENIED ... she is like "Have a hug instead". She TXT'ed me 5 minutes later apologizing saying that its way to weird for her and that she is sorry for having denied me 2 times, its just that she kept thinking of the EX. She does not want us to split and wants to just keep it a big secret.

I am wondering if I can get this situation under control or if this is just a lost cause.

 

[tactic]

Wow...... I mean WOW...

Dude, I think i understand why she doesn't want to kiss or make out with you because of the EX, but I think It's already OVER with you and the Ex.

If the EX would feel horrible about you guys going out, then I would agree that she shouldn't kiss or make out YET.

If she really wants you, she could talk it ou t with the EX and then when the time comes, like when the EX does not work with her or something, she can start dating you.

I'll try to think of some more ideas.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

Exactly.

She values my EX's friendship alot. I understand that, but seriously ... we are broke up. I am still grappling with the idea of my EX who I am not dating ... "****blocking" me in all of her glory, best part ... she does not even know it. I am going to play along with this, because I really care about this girl and she became my GF last night.

I am going to work on this. I will make this work out.

 

[Mav]

Originally posted by Paid, Laid & Made
..because I really care about this girl and she became my GF last night.

Oh please.

Your post is full of suplication and horrible behaviour that would make the nicest of AFC's proud!

• She wanted to play video games so you did. (And I bet it was her idea to watch the movie)
• You were going to sit in the chair to watch the movie? I'd have been on the bed and like "well, you can sit on my bed if you behave.."
• Holding hands for TWO hours?
• Spending an hour discussing the situation
• Agreeing to sleep in the same bed with her even after she rejected you
• Waiting on HER decision over the whole thing
• Asking her about it, then playing her dumb guessing game
• Guessing the most negative thing
• And I BET that after she texted you, you texted back telling her something like "oh it's ok" or "I understand", or (horror of horrors) "I'll be waiting if you change your mind"

Dude, I don't mean to sound harsh but you're so off the game it's untrue! The good news is you're only 18 so there's plenty of time to learn, heck I'd probably have done the same when I was 21 so you've got a good three year start compared to when I started to "get it".

Infact the more I think about it I'm starting to think your post is a windup, but incase it's not here's what you do;

• Text this new girl and tell her you've thought about things and she's probably right you should just be friends.
• Don't supplicate to her in future, infact a good rule of thumb during your rookie spell would be to disagree with anything she suggests (times to hang out, things to do etc). Act like you're doing her a favour by letting her hang out with you.
• Go read the first four sections of the DJ bible.
• Read them again

Mav

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

mav - good analysis!

 

[Mav]

PuertoRican_Lover;

Thank ya.

P,L & M;

Just a warning. If you reply with "But I don't want to be just friends" I'm going to print out the entire DJ Bible, hunt you down and force every page up your nose!

Mav

 

[tactic]

Well, the good thing is: He got the girl to like her.

He said he would work things out so it will. Not all DJs can be perfect, nor can i. Nor can you, but no I am not disagreeing with you. Sometimes it's not easy to think right away "what should i do?" to a girl. Even though there are true DJs who know every single move to make on women, there are some who doesn't and can still suceed greatfully with a woman. I'm beginning to realize the type of woman this is, and I think that she doesn't care if he DID make any of the moves or phrase on her.

But hey, I agree with you in some things.

 

[NatureGuy]

She looked around checked out my crib.

Crib ? !

 

[tactic]

He means his house.

 

[Mikelo2k]

o_0

Oh boy, I second what Mav said.

Sorry to say dude, but you've got alot to learn when it comes to DJing. You are in control, NOT her.

Good luck young samurai!


Mikelo2k

 

[tactic]

I thought it was grasshopper.

Anyway, yeah i've got tons to learn. I've been getting advices for a year now but the only thing I gotta do is ACTION.

Or maybe others too. My history of time during the year; there were so many things that happened. Went from complete newbie to a well-known person. Not that i'm well-experienced though.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

LOL.

Okay guys. Seriously, this whole AFC thing can be run into the ground rather quickly. Yes, I made a few AFC mistakes during that night, but overall I helped my situation.

When looking at some of the posts, here is what comes to mind ... TOTAL NON-SENSE.

I did not agree to playing her guessing "Game" ... because it was not one, it was her dealing with a messed up situation, either f'ck over her best friend or stay with me. She was not out to doom our relationship. Its been on her mind ever since we started going out.

Okay, I got rejected, it was due to sh1tty timing. If she pulls that move again, it will be automatically over. I cut her slack, due to us never having gotten this physical. Under no cicumstances, will this happen again. The hand holding was actually nice and I dont have any complaints. About not sleeping on the bed after having been denied ... F'ck that. Psssh, the ground was not top choice and pretending to be ticked would not have done anything. She does not play games with you and expects honesty ... if you have a problem solve it with her, end of story.

 

[Mav]

Originally posted by Paid, Laid & Made
When looking at some of the posts, here is what comes to mind ... TOTAL NON-SENSE.

Wrong, sorry but you don't "get" it, and your initial post is full of proof of that!

As Mikelo2k says, that girl is in total control of your situation, and that's not how things should be.


Mav

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

Okay.

I can't really force a girl to like me or let me do things with her. I gave her the control ... so what? I am getting the goods, just at her pace, which I dont mind. I am not on a power trip and I have a pair, so if I dont like something I will let her know.

 

[coldcoal]

PL&M-

I've read some posts of yours from a little while back on this ex of yours. Is this the same ex you wanted to make feel a little jealous? If so, you have the perfect opportunity to do it right here.

Call the ex. Tell her you think her friend is cool and want to know if it would be alright with her if you asked her out. Let her think her opinion matters. From what I read, she initiated the break up with you, so she should be totally cool with it.

1) You're letting her know you're over her.
2) You fix this mess with her friend.
3) Puts you back in control with BOTH women.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

I would, small problem.

My current girl works normally with my EX. They chatted and the EX brought up the fact that I asked to date one of her other friends, after the both of us split. She talked with her friend and crushed any chance of me hooking up with her. Then she went to my girl and was like ... "HE can NEVER date any of my best friends, that's just wrong and if he does ... let's just say I'll find out who my true friends are." She is really nutty and will flip once she figures this all out.

I am starting to cope more with the fact of this having to be kept a secret.

 

[Mav]

Originally posted by Paid, Laid & Made

I can't really force a girl to like me or let me do things with her. I gave her the control ... so what? I am getting the goods, just at her pace, which I dont mind.

You know, if you're happy with that then good for you and all the best. If you're happy being AFC then fair play to you. Maybe when some badboy or jerk comes in and takes that girl, or the next girl, off you then you might reconsider, but until then enjoy it while it lasts.

Does that sound harsh? Do you see what I'm getting at? Too many people see the advice on this forum and the bible as a way to get a girl and that's it. Well it's not, if you want true success you need to have the DJ philosophy ingrained into your being, every day of your life even when you're in a LTR or married. Never start supplicating or acting like she's the prize, when you do then eventually her interest level begins to wain and things head downhill.

Believe me I know from painful experience exactly what I'm talking about. Last year I was dating a HB10 (fashion model, in last summers Victoria's Secret catalogue). I got this girl because I did all the right things which the other chumps vying for her attention didn't do; I'd never buy her anything, I busted her balls about things and when she tried to shyt test me I'd spot it almost everytime and call her on it.

And what happened? After a couple of months I got comfortable, began supplicating and just generally stopped most of the things which made me stand out, and her interest level dropped. Looking back it's all so obvious but at the time I just didn't see it. Now in truth I'm not that bothered since I had to move back to the UK anyway (I spent last year in LA) and one way or another things were going to come to an end, but man was it a useful lesson.

Mav

 

[tactic]

Mav, I am very

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

First off.

I am not content with my AFC ways and I am introducing DJ'ing techniques into our relationship. I have not bought her anything yet and I did not ask her to be my GF ... she keeps referring to herself in that sense. I doubt anybody will come along and take her, due to me having a reputation as being a "Bad Ass" and nobody so far has touched any girl I ever dated, while she was with me.

I happen to just be sensitive to a woman's feelings sometimes and therefore pass up situations. Due to wanting to be the nice guy. No sweat though, nothing is lost YET.

 

[tactic]

That's good then, but the EX is ruining the relationship... I wish I could kill her.