Perfection is depressing and boring (Pook)

[LookTowardsTheFuture]

I am a loner. But, like any other loner, I have created my prison mentally.

I have everything it takes to become a great Don Juan. I have the skills in conversation, I have the confidence (sometimes), and I have the vision. But, there are insecurities that eat away at me. These insecurities include the ability to never satisfy my own standard. I am a consistent perfectionist. I want things to be absolutely perfect before I start. And, when I have started it, things must go exactly according to plan, or else the plans are useless. It is so difficult to not become obsess about these things because I have grown up to believe that things may be perfect in reality. It is far from perfect, and so are we.

Accepting the imperfection that is both within me and within others is the beginning to mastery for me. When that is resolved I feel that there is not anything I cannot tackle, because flexibility is on my side. The say the road to success is paved in consistency. Well, I would like to adjust that thought, I believe the road to success is the ability to be flexible, because only then may you be consistent after the myriad of failures, one after another.

I blame nothing, other than myself. But, I do know that being influenced by the thought that your dreams may unravel perfectly, presented through the large amount of self help available creates a sort of phantom destiny. This destination always eludes, because we chase after it anyways because we simple have faith that it exist. It does not, and forget about the idea that any relationship, any beginning, or any ending may be perfect.

I hope someone can take from my experience. It might help, because it has helped me tremendously just writing it out.

One more note, I just believe that abandonment is never the first key no matter what. Abandonment should be the last resort, only after you hae tried and exhausted all other possibilities.

 

[Night Owl]

Start reading Tao before it's too late !!

 

[BeyondCharm]

Hopelessness is usually the best place to begin a true and real recovery because for a lot of us, myself included, it took being completely hopeless before I was willing to do WHATEVER IT TOOK to get better, in my personal life and with women.

Perfection is only for God. I prefer looking at my day by day affairs as a matter of making progress. We are working towards perfection by acknowledging our shortcomings and being honest with ourselves, with God and with others about who we are and what we are becoming. If we want to become better people, we need only to ask.

 

[Director]

One way to approach this issue that might be helpful is to try to see it as a form of procrastination. I am somewhat of a perfectionist, but I think a great deal of it stems from or is related to procrastination. The kind of excessive planning that you are describing is often a way for us to distance ourselves from the actual task at hand.

In addition to trying to be more flexible, why not also focus on taking more action? Next time you get that feeling that you need to do something, instead of saying "But I must plan it in fine detail first!", just do it. Obviously this wouldn't apply to larger goals, but it does for more everyday tasks.

Just thought I'd throw that out there. It's helped me.

 

[Interceptor]

Hopelessness is actually a misreading of the situation.
Our true nature is always 'hopeful'. Because that's how the world really works.
Ultimately, if we feel hopeless and depressed,it is out of ignorance of our true nature, the lack of our connection to the spiritual universe, and plain old ignorance.

Depression is anger turned inward.
when our needs are not met, we become irritable. When we are 'offended' at Life, we get angry too. Usually we place the 'blame' on others, and then , ourselves.
But all of that is illusion.
It's looking at illusion, and believing it is REAL.
It is not.

The spiritual path, and the recognition of it, and the recognition of our lack of it is essential to moving away from these false perceptions.