Perfection and making the ho say no.

[nilescrane]

It seems like I don't have a one-it-is problem as much as I do a perfectionist problem. Almost like I want to bat as close to .1000 as possible. And no, I'm not afraid of rejection, I just have an ego I think and think "I chose you, you're lucky I chose you because I'm picky."

For example, when I approach girls in person, I used to be the kind of wimp to just walk away after she gave some lame excuse. Now I exercise all options. If they say they have a boyfriend, I say "Oh he wouldn't mind if we exchanged numbers or facebook" or "Oh isn't that nice, well I'm not looking to marry you, just like to make new friends."

It seems I do the same thing on facebook or online game too. A girl was telling me about some guy she's dating and asked me if I knew him, I said "If you're trying to scare me off, I'm not hitting on you, just chatting." So she countered with "Oh hahaha I wasn't trying to do that just wanted to see if you knew him." So I said "Yeah haven't seen him in a while. Maybe we should all hang out together sometime."

Is this taking things too far, or is it just showing that you don't give up easily and don't fall for the usual sh*t-tests?

 

[AlexTheGreat]

So you're asking if your being persistent is a bad thing? I say not at all!

Keep doing what you do, but don't get attached to any one girl. Stay easy-going like you seem to have been, and don't change a winning formula.

If those girls are giving you negative answers, they're probably not interested. Keep on playing and having fun for a short bit if you don't mind, but don't lose your time on a roadblock.

 

[nilescrane]

Yeah, I'm just having fun and showing that I'm not the typical AFC to just give up easily. Also, you don't know right away which women are just saying that boyfriend stuff as a generic answer to all men that hit on her and how many are just not interested at all.

My problem is that with non-approach game, like online game, or talking to a girl that might have nexted me for good, that I don't give up. I don't stalk, follow them, send them tons of emails, but every once in a while I'll check in even though the answer is still some variation of "no."

It's something I have to work on, admitting defeat. I guess maybe I like the challenge or something and also like I said some ego involved, "I'm probably not ugly to her, so there's nothing un-fixable with her" even though it isn't always that black and white.

This used to be a big problem for me, because I'd get hung up on getting "one" girl. I'll admit, I'm still outcome attached in non-approach situations. Like, I'm hoping I get to hang out with this girl...the one with the guy she's dating, but at the same time, I'm at least approaching other women and not thinking "She's the only one."