"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Perfect situation in the gym

E

EmotionalGeek

Senior Don Juan
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I wake up about 4am and can not sleep so I decide that to hit the gym before the work. I'm at the gym at 6am. There is like 3 guys in the big gym. I sit on leg extension machine and start working out. After a while I notice a girl running on running machine -- directly in front of me. She is turning her back to me. I can see her swaying hips. She is beautiful. I start fantasizing and feel this worm pleasant feeling inside me. When I finish last set I think that something is not right. Gym is empty and there are multiple running machines but she is directly in front of me. I decide that it is just my fantasy.

I go to adjacent empty room to finish leg workout. After a minute she is in the same room. Idiot in my head says it is just coincidence. I finish workout and go to yet another room to work out my chest. 5 minute passes she is on adjacent machine. Now I''m sure. This is a signal. I want to go to her and start talking but there are 3 other guys in this room. I try to find something to say but I can't anything. I can not go direct because of the other guys. After 5 minutes she goes away. I feel like ****less idtiot. I really do not know how to open in the gym. I would go indirect but I'm gym newbie and I don't know to much about exercissing. How do you open and transition in such situations?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheMonkeyKing

TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan
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I think most people have this kind of brain freeze at one point or another. It certainly happened to me this week; I get a look and a smile from a gorgeous blonde and all I managed was to smile back.

I takes practice. We have to become natural at starting conversation with everyone all the time, in any context, before it starts to just become part of who we are.

You don't have to come out with anything particularly profound, rather being aware of the situation and commenting on it is always a good opener. In your situation I might have just jokingly complained about the early hour...

'Damn, it's far too early to be doing all this heavy lifting.....!'.

She says, 'I always like this time of day'.

You say, 'Oh, you're an early bird are you?'.

Immediately, you're asking her about herself and leading the conversation, which most people prefer you to do, especially women.

It does take practice though, especially getting used to being reactive to the individual, context and conversation.
 
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