"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Perfect situation in the gym

EmotionalGeek

Senior Don Juan
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I wake up about 4am and can not sleep so I decide that to hit the gym before the work. I'm at the gym at 6am. There is like 3 guys in the big gym. I sit on leg extension machine and start working out. After a while I notice a girl running on running machine -- directly in front of me. She is turning her back to me. I can see her swaying hips. She is beautiful. I start fantasizing and feel this worm pleasant feeling inside me. When I finish last set I think that something is not right. Gym is empty and there are multiple running machines but she is directly in front of me. I decide that it is just my fantasy.

I go to adjacent empty room to finish leg workout. After a minute she is in the same room. Idiot in my head says it is just coincidence. I finish workout and go to yet another room to work out my chest. 5 minute passes she is on adjacent machine. Now I''m sure. This is a signal. I want to go to her and start talking but there are 3 other guys in this room. I try to find something to say but I can't anything. I can not go direct because of the other guys. After 5 minutes she goes away. I feel like ****less idtiot. I really do not know how to open in the gym. I would go indirect but I'm gym newbie and I don't know to much about exercissing. How do you open and transition in such situations?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan
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I think most people have this kind of brain freeze at one point or another. It certainly happened to me this week; I get a look and a smile from a gorgeous blonde and all I managed was to smile back.

I takes practice. We have to become natural at starting conversation with everyone all the time, in any context, before it starts to just become part of who we are.

You don't have to come out with anything particularly profound, rather being aware of the situation and commenting on it is always a good opener. In your situation I might have just jokingly complained about the early hour...

'Damn, it's far too early to be doing all this heavy lifting.....!'.

She says, 'I always like this time of day'.

You say, 'Oh, you're an early bird are you?'.

Immediately, you're asking her about herself and leading the conversation, which most people prefer you to do, especially women.

It does take practice though, especially getting used to being reactive to the individual, context and conversation.
 
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