"Perception is reality"

[Effington]

Just thought I'd share a brief story about how much your look appears to effect how even your friends think about you.

I'd always been clean shaven up until about a year ago, and looked really young. I'm 25, but would be carded at every single bar I'd ever been to, and even for cigarettes. One time on a golf course (with my boss on a company outing), the course marshall asked to see my driver's license when he saw me driving the golf cart. My most recent ex was five years younger than me and I was used to talking with younger women.

Yesterday I was out to dinner with a buddy, and I flirted a little with the cashier at the place we were at. I guessed 17 because she was talking about going to prom, which prompted my buddy and I to have a talk about age requirements. I said 18 was fine, and he said she has to be 80% of your age, which would be 20.

Then he said it'd be creepy if I asked her for her number. I was like, what? I always talk to younger women and he's never said anything. I have since grown a beard, though, and haven't been carded at a bar in awhile, and people mistake me for over 30 years old, which he said is the main factor. Since I look older it'd be like the creepy 30 year old talking to an 18 year old, as opposed to a guy who looks like he's 18 himself. I found it most interesting that it was coming from one of my best friends who I've known for awhile, that my appearance even effects him.

As clean shaven, I went through about 20 interviews before landing a job, which ended up being well below market average pay for my education. When I was interviewing with my beard, I had 3 interviews and 3 job offers, all well above market average rate.

Anyone else have any similar stories?

 

[DonGorgon]

Maybe so but the only reality that matters is that of the people you want things from.....

 

[collalife]

no but that is interesting. bearded people look more dignified in society and it sounds like it makes you look older(like others) so people feel like they need you for jobs etc. Young people look rebellious and often make old people angry how they wasted their youth or they project their negative image of them as young people on you. i.e lazy, greedy, careless, and fair lacking in intelligence. i believe 18 and up is ok. but be ready for a short relationship with 18-20.

check out:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=143331

 

[SinJester]

Hm surprising, no offense I think beards are cool but I never associated them with something I would wear to a job interview... Interesting.

 

[Effington]

A blessing and a curse in disguise.

In my first experience (when I was having a very difficult time landing a job), I was getting a lot of beef that my interview skills were crap, and based on results, may have been warranted. Honestly, at first, I admit, they were terrible, and I definitely blame my college for not training me properly. There was a prereq in my college for the career field (resume building, job hunting, interviews) but it did not properly prepare me for the challenge I faced. They were more concerned with making me happy about the school than facing reality. It was my older brother, who is an executive at a Fortune 50 (fifty) company to tell me the straight truth, and his brutal honesty, while cruel, helped me immensely in the long-run.

Most interview advice will tell you that facial hair is generally looked down upon in Corporate America. Obviously, based on my experience, I would argue that it depends on the individual. In my case, facial hair was essential. However, I am a bit of an exception; in most cases, clean shaven is better. You really need to judge for yourself. I have a relative who was the VP of HR for a top Chicago company, and he kept telling me to shave. While he's easily the most credible person I met (and you'd be hard-pressed to meet anyone more credible), it was incorrect in practice. Perhaps he was too old school, and was so high up he hadn't conducted an interview in years, but either way, my gut was correct.

Perhaps a tangent from the topic of this website, but I think that careers, money, and power are definitely relevant to our general attitude in life, which is very relevant to this website.