People who think it's easy to get girls annoy me

[Skydiver43127]

Blah, blah, thinking about how to be confident is a catch 22. Just power through the dry spell and all will be ok. Your female friend giving advice sounds a lot like my female roommate during a recent dry spell I had - "more confidence, less action". To hell with this - go and be as insecure as you want, while raising the stakes.

If you currently get rejected when you call with an apologetic tone for the second date - try kiss-closing on the first date instead, while visibly shaking with fear. If you're rejected for sounding unsure while asking girls you just met out for coffee - sound unsure asking them to a night party instead.

If you can't change HOW you do things, change WHAT you do. It will make girls uncomfortable as hell and your female friend will most certainly disapprove. But it will make YOU feel better. And the most ridiculous part is this works better anyway - when girls get uncomfortable themselves they don't notice your lack of confidence even if it's visible.

 

[Scion]

Blah, blah, thinking about how to be confident is a catch 22. Just power through the dry spell and all will be ok. Your female friend giving advice sounds a lot like my female roommate during a recent dry spell I had - "more confidence, less action". To hell with this - go and be as insecure as you want, while raising the stakes.

If you currently get rejected when you call with an apologetic tone for the second date - try kiss-closing on the first date instead, while visibly shaking with fear. If you're rejected for sounding unsure while asking girls you just met out for coffee - sound unsure asking them to a night party instead.

If you can't change HOW you do things, change WHAT you do. It will make girls uncomfortable as hell and your female friend will most certainly disapprove. But it will make YOU feel better. And the most ridiculous part is this works better anyway - when girls get uncomfortable themselves they don't notice your lack of confidence even if it's visible.

well she's not my friend, she's a girl I liked and asked out recently. She told
me this "advice" when we had a conversation after the fact. I wasn't at all afraid when I asked her out so this is just generic advice, not specific to me.

 

[corrector]

Recently I've had quite a few ppl tell me it's easy to get girls and get laid.

Sounds to me like they are making you feel small so that they will feel better about themselves.

But it seems that the 'double-standard' treatment you are getting from women (i.e. they are ignoring you with their gards up ready to start a harrassment suit but being easy hoes with other guys) appears to be really the issue here. Someone saying to you that it's easy to get girls are just getting the good side of the double-standard.

So, what's the theory, is there a conspiracy where women are just out to get you? It seems to me this is your experience in life? Is there anything tangible or definable about this? Or, do you think you have an undefined problem where you are just getting the short end of the stick all the time.

 

[slaog]

Its easy (or at least alot easier) when you know how to attract women. If you learn how to attract women you'll see this for yourself.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I do like myself, so it's not fair to just come out and say that. I don't like that I can't attract women but that's only a small part of my life, it doesn't define it. But I'd still like to change that. I don't want to be some pimp PUA, but I wouldn't mind to date once in a while and maybe have a girlfriend (I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm 25).

I always make some sort of move on girls I like. I'm not that afraid of being rejected, sure it's not pleasant but I know the only way I'll never be rejected is to stop making moves on girls (and I don't want to do that, so I put up with the rejection, even though it hurts).

I always thought I had ok social skills, but maybe I am socially inept. After all it's not uncommon for some ppl to ignore me in social situations. But then again, I can have conversations and socialize with some ppl no problem, it's just most girls that don't like to socialize with me, other guys seem to have no problem with me.

And sorry that I said that maybe I'm not meant to get women but put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel about yourself if you were still a virgin at 25 and had only kissed 1 girl? Answer that truthfully before throwing more stones at me.

Pal, did you even look at anything I took time to type to you? Should I not bother with this thread anymore?

GO FIND OUT EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING WRONG! Then worry about the things you need to do right. Are you just a victim of your struggles?

 

[Scion]

Pal, did you even look at anything I took time to type to you? Should I not bother with this thread anymore?

GO FIND OUT EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING WRONG! Then worry about the things you need to do right. Are you just a victim of your struggles?

I don't know everything I'm doing wrong. I'm sure I am doing things wrong but I am also sure that there's some vibe I'm giving off. I don't know how to fix either of them. One of my girl friends who lives in another city knows about my difficulty (she doesn't know I'm a virgin though) and she says she wants to talk to me about it. Don't know what will come out of that though.

 

[entgs2]

(no girls liked me in hs, actually no girls have ever liked me).

I doubt this is literally true for you. It is literally true for me though, but I'm not starting multiple whiny threads.

 

[Scion]

I doubt this is literally true for you. It is literally true for me though, but I'm not starting multiple whiny threads.

why do you doubt it's literally true?

Anyway, I'm thinking of asking the girl I liked what about me drives women away? She recently (since I asked her out) started acting like a ***** towards me, so I want to question her as to why.

 

[Nutz]

TL;DR

I'm going to try this for kicks one day....


"Hey, let's go out sometime. I'm confident so it's alright."

 

[ashrivas]

It takes the realization that you just aren't great with women to strive towards ascending to a higher level. You have to change your mindset and attitude brah. I know it has been said a lot but it cannot be overemphasized. First work on improving yourself, make more friends, go out. Only through experience can you get better and for that you have to be ready to accept rejections when they come your way and learn from them. I do think that you might be giving off a vibe that shows you're lonely, or clingy, or needy and that's a turn-off. So go with an 'I don't care' attitude/mentality at the beginning. Don't try to seal the deal right away. Give some time for the girl to develop interest in you. You destiny is in your hands.

 

[Scion]

I have trouble developing the "I don't care" attitude. I tried to in the past but the same things continued to happen and eventually I started to care again.

Honestly I just don't know how to change things. And for whatever reason I don't even want to go out anymore. I don't care for meeting new women and I don't know why. Like last night I was asked to come out and chill but I didn't bother going, instead went to sleep (though I wouldn't have met any single women last night, all the girls there had boyfriends).

 

[The Piano Master]

I'm with you on this one. Naturals give the same advice, over and over.

"You just gotta TALK to 'em!"
"You gotta be confident!"
"Just be yourself!"

This sounds great on paper of course, but when put into practice the advice is useless. Women can smell faked confidence a mile away. Also, women don't want guys to be "themselves", unless "being themselves" means being a confident @sshole that will dominate them and maybe even smack them around a little bit when they get out of line.

The fact is everyone is born with their own talents and skillsets, and it makes no sense to try to give someone such simplified advice when really it's a genetic issue, with early life experiences mixed in that makes people the way they are.

Hang in there, bro. One of these days you'll learn.

 

[Kupid Diggs]

I'm convinced...

Scion = El stud


I was having confidence problems with women too, then one day it finally clicked, and I realized that I was the prize. As long as you don't have confidence you can forget about attracting women...

 

[Scion]

I'm convinced...

Scion = El stud


I was having confidence problems with women too, then one day it finally clicked, and I realized that I was the prize. As long as you don't have confidence you can forget about attracting women...

No, Scion does not equal El stud...

But think what you will, not gonna argue with you about that further. I could really care less who some guy on the internet thinks I am. And what convinces you? Because I have confidence and other issues related to women? Well guess what? So does lots of guys, otherwise sites like this wouldn't exist.

And not that it matters but the whole "I'm the prize" mentality has never worked for me because I've always wanted them more than they've wanted me. Maybe if I could find a way to not care about women but I haven't yet.

 

[corrector]

A site like this can't offer any advice, because it's always the same old stuff which I'm sure you are trying. What are they going to say? Don't care about women, be confident, have a social network, make moves to show interest, have a good job where you can support yourself and not rely on your folks, hit the gym so your looks are at par, etc....

So, you have to be the ideal example of someone who has tried all of these magical formulas on some checklist and has failed. This stuff isn't for everyone. Maybe all these checklists that people make are just part of a delusion that there is hope -- the hard part is that if you do everything, and you still fail, then what are you going to do?

 

[DonGorgon]

Its easy for alpha males to get women.. You can become an alpha male by excelling in looks and or money and or popularity.

When you lack looks you have to compensate alot in other areas and it will usually take longer to F most women since looks is is usally a prerequisite to them allowing to to run your game on them/... A woman can let any man F her and be turned on by any man that touches her but she chooses who to allow to turn her on.. Find out what you can do to make them choose you more often.

 

[zekko]

And people who look for the sympathy vote and who wallow in self pity annoy me. That's you. Why should any girl be interested in you when you don't even like yourself?

For those of us who have struggled with confidence, you have no idea how hollow this sounds. Most of us like ourselves just fine, we just have confidence issues in one specific area - dealing with women. Now for the most part, I've put these confidence problems behind me, but when I was younger they gave me all sorts of trouble. I'm not sure exactly what the source of them was, maybe it was because my father died while I was young and I didn't have a good male role model when I really needed one.

But I agree self pity and moping is not going to get you anywhere. You just have to keep on pushing on. To the original poster, I would say try anything you can to increase your value: increase your social skills, work on your earning potential for the future, get in great shape, improve your style and appearance in anyway you can, etc. But you have to give up the whining ways or this self doubt will always drag you down, no matter how successful you are materially.

I'm going to try this for kicks one day....

"Hey, let's go out sometime. I'm confident so it's alright."

Lol.

 

[dicod3r]

Getting girls has nothing to do with confidence... only illusion of confidence

Truth is, i'm still not confident with women but I can show you pictures of the last couple of girls I've been with and u'd ask me how I got with them and the answer is....


FAKE THAT SHVT... lol


I've got a girl i'm fvcking with now, she's so hot I ask myself 5x's a day how in the world is this chick interested in me (just honesty) and to be honest, I don't have a good answer...


As long as you get what you want, means don't mean a damn thing. You'll end up becoming a fake ass person (in terms of women) to a degree, but hey man u'll be getting arse that others only dream about...


I could care less what anyone thinks about me or my methods, as long as i'm happy who cares ? Try this and report back bro

I'm going to try this for kicks one day....

"Hey, let's go out sometime. I'm confident so it's alright."

Classic




-Cod3r

 

[Da Realist]

If you want the truth dude: stop asking them on a date and start telling them you want to screw them. The times I've been successful with women was when they knew the deal and wanted it. In fact, thanks for bringing this up because it made me realize that.

But for real, are you really content to settle for a date? You talk to a fine woman, and all that comes to mind is taking her out even when she's looking like she wants to tear your clothes off? If so, you need to change your way of thinking. Conquest is the name of the game and whatever happens afterwards is on her.

 

[flint]

Hey man first off I feel you, I really do. I'm in a similar situation, just two years younger than you, and I know it gets worse the older you get.

I'm not a "DJ" or whatever, and I haven't gotten there myself yet but I think I'm a little ahead of you are because of one thing. I'm great with people, and I'm not saying that you are socially inept or something like that, but it sounds like you're just a regular guy when it comes to going out. You just want to fit in with your buddies, have a few beers, etc. (again this is only a guess I have no idea who you are).

I bring this up because the two pieces of advice I have stem off of this. First off I became great with strangers, and people in general through watching what people who are already good with them do. So when I see someone who is the "life of the party" or something like that, I've taken mental notes on how they do it. Some things I noticed for example are that people who know how to really be the life of a party or control their atmosphere with people (controling the conversation etc) don't care when they say something stupid, they'll shrug it off and keep doing what works. They're also not afraid to say something that might be taken wrong. For example, I like dirty humor, but I use it a lot and it works for me even though there's a taboo about it.

Anyways the point I'm trying to make is that two questions used to drive my life, "Why aren't I normal?" and "How can I fit in". When I started asking "How can I be better than normal, or better than the rest" i realized when I went to parties people started flocking around me. And suddenly women too became more receptive to things I did, including flirting and touching.

What I would suggest is start watching guys who are great with women more, and really pay attention to what they do. Don't pay attention to any schmuck who has a gf, pay attention to a guy you know who kills it with the ladies. And then get great at being social. I gaurentee you that once you get to a point where you can walk up to a group of strangers and have them all laughing like you're best buds that you'll notice girls become more receptive to you.

And one more thing, don't just act like your buddy who is good with chicks just to get chicks. There are multiple types of personalities of people who get laid by hotties. Some guys are more quiet and laid back, others like being the center of attention. But they all show common traits, like being relaxed and comfortable around women.