People think I'm angry most of the time.

[monster squad]

For example:

Last friday I went out drinking on my own. This is a college town, and I guess everyone is gearing up for school to start up, plus a lot of people are on vacation the first week of August, so it was dead everywhere. As in, me being the only person in the bars besides the bartenders.

I eventually settled in on my usual place, since there were a lot of cars in the parking lot, but it was pretty much all gay guys in there. There's a hefty gay population around here. Even most of the bartenders in this place are lesbians. Wierd, but I was amused enough to stick around.

I ended up just chatting with one of the bartenders, who happened to be straight. We basically made fun of all the funny shirts and guys making out with one another. No big deal. I wasn't flirting with her or anything.

The other night I went out drinking with some friends, then headed back to the place from friday on my own. This same girl was in there drinking with her brother, but I didn't recognize her at first. I don't remember exactly what I said, as I was pretty much bordering on a black out at that point, but she kept saying how mean I suddenly was, and how I seem mad. "You were so nice to me the other night, and now you're being mean. Blah blah blah...". I wasn't mad, and I didn't insult her or anything. This didn't stop her from scratching my back for 15 minutes before she left, as she was continuing to tell me how mean I am

But uh.... I get this all the time. People generally think I'm constantly pissed off about something. I could be in the best mood ever, cracking jokes, and I'll still get someone asking me why I'm so angry. More often then not, people seem on edge around me, almost like they're afraid. This goes back to like middle school. I don't think it's a good thing.

So, besides dressing like a clown or grinning like an idiot all the time, is there any way to make people feel more at ease around me?

 

[Street_Fighter]

do you have high blood pressure? because they could be mistaking that as a sign of stress or irritability on your part...

 

[ChrizZ]

the next time you meet her bring her some flowers, buy her some drinks and sing a song for her. She´ll stop thinking of you as being mean. That´s when you reveal that you put LSD in her drink and when she is totally high you take her home. Works like a charm.

 

[Damian]

It may be your body language that is being incongruent with your speech. I found this problem with a few of my friends. They'll be cracking jokes and pulling regular C+F, but they're either tense or concentrating too hard that they forget to relax and smile.

The second option is probably the most likely of the two. Usually a woman will test your composure to see if you're just faking alpha behavior or if you're truly an alpha. This stems from the fact that AFCs and the vast majority of novices will often try to display alpha male behavior. However, one of the important factors that discern real alphas is how you approach such a test. An AFC would start apologizing profusely for fear that the girl will somehow leave. A novice might get confused, stutter, or just plow on without adjustment.

Some strategies a real alpha would use:

Rebound:
"Judge a book by it's cover, why don't you?"
"No, you've been mean to me all night! I know that inside, you think all my jokes are funny."

Playful and funny:
"Wah wah!" (make the appropriate facial expression)

****y:
"I'm not mad, you're just intimidated by my domineering attitude." (puff out your chest in a comical manner)

As it is 2:45 at night, that's all I can think of. Don't forget your kino. The power of touch can do a lot to make a group feel more at ease with a new friend.

-Damian