People calling you names

[TheMachoMan]

I would appreciate some advice!
I have this bad nickname that some people have been calling me since I was young. They think I look like a retarded person in a tv series. I really hate it when they do call me that, but somehow the word has spread and everybody in my town seem to know about it, even people I've never met!

I know that I don't really look like this person because when I go to other towns or countries, I never hear it.

So what can I do? It's really tough when you're at parties and you hear other people discussing it behind your back when they think you don't hear, it's almost worse than when they say it out loud.

What do I say if they call me that? If it's a girl I know I could say something like "What is it about him that you like so much?". But what do I say to guys who call me that? I get so upset that I'd be able to get into a fight about it!

If you can help, please do! This has haunted me for many years...

 

[runner10_13]

You should embrace the nickname and not let it bother you. I bet that if you show it doesnt bother you, it wont be used as a negative thing, but more of jsut an identification type thing. I have nicknames, and i think no matter how gay it may sound to you, its probably not that big of a deal to the person who actually calls you it. I doubt they are saying it to make fun of you. Thats my take on it.

 

[StoneCold]

when they call U it Just say

Im good In bed

 

[Julian]

What do they call u ? Corky from life goes on? Lmao!

 

[Phrozen]

Corky, just ignore them.

Do not respond to the nickname at all. Simply ignore it as if they were calling someone else's name. No reaction means no reason to continue saying it. Rise above.

 

[sAxyguy83]

I personally disagree w/ Phrozen. If they seem to be using it to try to bother you, then if somebody calls out "Hey Corky!" or whatever your nick is, give 'em a big grin and say "Yo!", maybe a quick wave. Nothing confuses someone more than having you happily respond to an insulting nickname. Turn it into a joke, and not only will it cease to bother you, you'll come across as C&F big time. Don't ignore it, and don't act like it bothers you - act as if it's a joke you and some friends came up with a few weeks ago.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by sAxyguy83
Nothing confuses someone more than having you happily respond to an insulting nickname.

Saxy is right...nothing takes the fire out of them like agrement. So put on a big smile and reply: "Yeah, what do you need?" The happier you act, the more stupid and cruel they look.

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Are you a placid individual or a nasty piece of work? I take it you're more on the placid side otherwise people wouldn't be poking sh!t at you.

If people are giving you the name of some spaz dude off a TV show and you say you look nothing like him then it sounds like they are just straight out disrespecting you. Lay down some authority and show them that you are no guy to be played for a chump. Demand respect.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

When I was in high school I had a really cool spaz routine to make fun of this spastic guy in my class. Unfortunately I got suspended for doing it. So I had to stop (at least in the classroom).

I know I should feel guilty for making fun of a tard.

 

[Caveman]

I totally agree with runner10_13, saxy & watertiger.

Embrace the nick no matter how stupid you think it is. By ignoring or demanding respect you will show these guys how much it botters you. Accept your nick and make it your own. Hell, maybe introduce yourself to someone (Hey, I'm Mike but my friends call me Corky or whatever). Never show your weak spots cuz they will always use it against you.

 

[TheMachoMan]

It's very difficult for me because I get so upset when I hear it so it's difficult not to show it. I feel like I'm getting a little too old to beat people up about it, but on the other hand, these people should be old enought to not say these things.

I could never make this nick a part of myself... never! One good thing is that when I hear it I now get a confidence boost and an adrenaline kick, so it might not be that bad. But it's difficult to handle when you hear people talking about it behind your back!

 

[Caveman]

Dude!

They might be talking behind your back cuz they know you have a problem with it. This thing will not go away by itself. Even though it sounds unfair: This will only go away once you've accepted this.

DO NOT beat up people over this and DO NOT expect people to be wise enough not to call you this.

I know it is difficult for you to accept. Trust me, I went to something you could say is simular and even though I could go a couple of days, maybe even weeks without hearing it.. It NEVER went away before I started accepting it.

Okay, cool. You can't make this nick part of yourself, at least try and accept it. Work on it. Every time you hear it and it upsets you, be aware of it. Try to take this negative load off. If you can, try and turn into a positive thing. If we go by the example of Corky.. Cool, Corky was/is a retard but there are many many positive things about this guy. Think about it. Try and sum up the positive things about this character and forget about the negs. This might help you accept. If not, forget about the character completely. Maybe in your mind you can create a new character that goes by this name. A character like Tyler Durden or whatever.

In any way, please try and accept this nick cuz, like I said, It won't go away untill you've accepted this.

Don't take yourself too seriously. Be able to laugh at yourself or your nick. Lighten up.

(edited to ask)
Why is it that you now get a confidence boost /adrenaline kick when you hear this nick?

 

[AFK Protector]

Don't give in. Never give in. But don't take it too seriously either!

If they say something to me, I just smile and say "hey!" while giving them the bird.

Then depending on the person I either run my ass off or keep walking.

 

[Caveman]

-- sorry, wrong button --

 

[So Many Ways]

How old are you? Are you still in high school?

I think the others gave good advice. I remember back in high school everyone called me Urkel. I know how that feels, that used to piss me off something terrible. They do it because they know it gets under your skin.

 

[TheMachoMan]

Thanks for all the tips!

Originally posted by Caveman
Dude!

Why is it that you now get a confidence boost /adrenaline kick when you hear this nick?

Because it happened just after I'd been reading the posts about not having more respect for other people than you have for yourself. When they called me names I realised that I cared what they thought. Why should I do that if they keep calling me names? That's just stupid. They don't show me any respect, why should I show them some?

I think you're totally right in your post I just doubt that I can do what you say. I'll try, it can't get worse!

Originally posted by So Many Ways
How old are you?

I'm 23

 

[Caveman]

Well if you've come this far (realising you shouldn't pay respect to people who don't respect you) I think you are on the right track.

Anyhow, I think it is also important for you to understand that people don't always call you names to hurt you. Most of the time they are just teasing you a bit. Being able to laugh with them is a powerful trait. Being able to laugh at yourself is even more powerful. Instead of waiting for people to tease you - or hoping they will not - make some cracks about yourself or in this case your own nick. This cuts both ways. It takes the fun out of using this nick to tease you AND you will feel better about yourself.

I wish you good luck and I hope you will keep us posted about how you are doing.

 

[Thraxeh]

i'm 16 right now, and i'm in highschool. basicly when one of my friends rang me up about 3yrs ago, my mum answered and she screamed out a name that she calls me, i was listing to some music(and no i wont tell u what that name is ) and from that day onwards i was know as Thraxeh(as an example).

my closest friends starting calling me it, and then ppl will ask them why they call me that and would say "his mum calls him that" then girls started to catch on, and soon the whole school found out. i felt quite pissed off, but after about 2 months of this, i just lived with it, and now its a name i have that everyone knows me by, i dont care anymore cause i just accepted it.

so basicly just accept it best way to go about it

 

[AMF]

You must laugh.

Ignoring is an unnatural reaction - and so is satisfying to those teasing you.

Any conflict resolves through one side conceding. You as an individual cannot force the group to concede. For the conflict to stop, YOU need to concede that the nickname is FUNNY.

School forms natural group hierarchies, of strength, athelticism popularity etc. Teasing allows upper members to exert superiority over lower members - but crucially, youre all part of the SAME group.

Total outsiders - "losers", geeks, whatever - are usually left alone. If you are teased, you are usually liked, so long as you can take a joke.

Laughing at yourself is a brilliant ability because it robs people of any power to laugh AT you.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone."

 

[spider_007]

two chicks (UG 3 & 5) in my bartending class thought they could mess with me; so they started calling me "OLIVE" (because i told them i've think olivs are gross, and i've never had one) I'm not sure I like that.
So I returned the favour: I called one "on ONION" and the other "MSS TABASCO SAUCE"