people being challenges

[Drum&Bass]

Women are drawn to men being challenges, that is nothing new, but I don't understand why..

A woman will find a great guy only to disregard him once she realizes that she can have him easily. I would think it best if people got together easily but found the challenge in maintaining a good long term relationship.

Why and When did playing games become so important. Why do women find excitement in knowing they are not that important to someone they like when all their time and energy could be used growing with each other spiritually, physically and mentally...

Also..

After having a good share of sex it feels empty just hopping around f-cking random women all the time, it isn't all its cracked up to be. I'm sure women are f-cking as much as me if not more. I wonder if they feel the same way, like sex is empty without a LTR.. I'm finding alot of women that I want to be in a relationship with just want to f-ck. I think it might have something to do with them making it in their career because thats the one thing they all have in common. Maybe they think if they get involved it will be difficult for them to succeed.

 

[Cod3r]

LoL, you're asking questions you already know the answer to...

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Women like men that are challenges because they are HUMAN. Men happen to be HUMAN too and guess what, we like challenges too ?? Haven't you gotten a girl and when she laid down and died for you (became infatuated) you lost interest, all u had to do is snap fingers and she's sucking you off... u call and say 'get over here' and she's there in 2 seconds ?? BORING... same for females my friend...

Now let me discuss something me and my girlfriend were talking about last night. The big issue in LTR is TRUST. Look at it like the stock market ok ?? Bear with me, i'm a market guy so i like these analogies....

The stock market fluctuates EVERYDAY, it goes up and down and the people that trade on the stock market experience thrills as it goes up and then emotional downs as it comes down, and then back up again, its exciting, BUT they stay with it because in the END, they know the stock-market returns about 8% return at the end of the year..... get me ??

^ ^ If you didn't i'm going to break it down for you. A woman wants the ups and downs and excitement of chasing a guy, but ONLY if she knows that in the end she's secure. If she isn't sure that at the end of the day she's secure, she's going to eventually hop out of the market !!! This is why bad-boys fail being PURELY BAD-BOY and trying to LTR....

They create no trust, yeah its fun and the ride is thrilling but the woman KNOWS that at the end of the day he's going to bone other girls or stray away from her and that's NO GOOD for LTR, so she ****s him and does the crazy **** for a while and then she leaves the market.... get it ??

A successful LTR (which I have) is where you create trust and security and then give them the ride of their lives. I basically told my gf last night that I needed her to be more elusive, and to deny me sex to keep it interesting because she's really infatuated and obedient right now, I do it to her all the time. When we go out, I'll flirt and tease other women and my girl will get mad at me and slap me, but when we're in bed ****ing that night she admits she lovesss to know other women want me, and it makes her feel as though i'm REALLY the right man for her (wierd right ?? ehhh that's girls)

I give her short-term fluctuations, but i'm always good because on the long-term she knows she's secure with me, I ain't going nowhere....


Ask yourself this would you ride a roller-coaster that had no loops, no drops, just a straight line ?? Maybe for a sec, but after one ride... u prolli won't get back on... Now ask yourself this, would you ride a roller coaster that had all the loops, and drops but it had limited safety, 5 kids died on it last year and 1-20 kids gets brain trauma or something ?? I DONT THINK SO... maybe once if ur an extreme thrill seeker, but u ain't gonna be ridin it forever....

Now ask yourself this... would you ride a roller coaster that had the loops, drops, dark tunnels, and thrills but GUARANTEED ur saftey 100% ?? Of course, you'd ride that sucker all day everyday because it gives you the thrills you want with the safety and security you need.... think on that bro..


-COd3r

 

[Desdinova]

Women are drawn to men being challenges, that is nothing new, but I don't understand why..

Women enjoy trying to figure men out. The more confusing the guy is, the more the woman thinks about him and begins "missing" this guy she's always thinking about.

Why and When did playing games become so important.

Answer me this question... Do you remember a time when playing games WASN'T important? To my knowledge, it's always been this way.

Why do women find excitement in knowing they are not that important to someone they like when all their time and energy could be used growing with each other spiritually, physically and mentally...

Simply put: for women, "feeling" takes priority over growing.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Women are drawn to men being challenges, that is nothing new, but I don't understand why..

A woman will find a great guy only to disregard him once she realizes that she can have him easily. I would think it best if people got together easily but found the challenge in maintaining a good long term relationship.

Why and When did playing games become so important. Why do women find excitement in knowing they are not that important to someone they like when all their time and energy could be used growing with each other spiritually, physically and mentally...

If a woman can “have him easily” then he isn’t a prize, is he? Matter of (my) fact, a man that is willing to render him self as less than a challenge isn’t really worth having. There is a saying that anything worth having is worth working for; shouldn’t this apply to YOU over and above any material thing in this world? YOU should be worth a woman working for.

My husband was, is and always will be a challenge for me. He challenges me to EARN and keep his trust and respect. He challenges me to be a worthy mate for him. He challenges me to take responsibility for MY part in our relationship. He challenges me to be accountable for my emotions and keep them in check.

Through all these challenges we are GROWING in every area, these challenges create expectations, expectations are what a (prideful) woman will strive to live up to. He expects a well balanced, emotionally stable woman to be his wife. He communicates and expounds great effort into our relationship and WILL SETTLE for no less from me.

He presented himself very real from the start. We never play the games, he has always made the rules very clear, boundaries are set and desires were made known. I had a choice, take him on or leave him. I accepted his challenge.

In re-reading my text, you probably think him as an arrogant bastard. He is, in the nicest of ways, he is arrogant, bowing to no one, settling for nothing less then the highest standards. This only makes me more pleased to be with him. I have met him head on, I can meet his challenges and it gives me a sense of power and strength to continue to grow with him. These challenges keep up alive, growing and merging together, emotionally, spiritually and physically day after day.

It is never over, once you are in a LTR it isn’t time to quit working, truthfully it has all just begun. To keep a newness and spice in the relationship, to maintain that interest level, to nurture the strength of the bond you are creating will always take effort and drive.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ And the congregation said in unison... AMEN


-Cod3r

 

[Drum&Bass]

thanks these are ALL GREAT POSTS and definitely re-enforce healthy and necesary behavior, theres actually something else bugging me and I guess i'm tip toeing around that, I'm gonna try something and see what happens..

 

[blueguy]

If a man is a challenge to a girl, it subconsciously signals to the girl that he must presently have or has been with other girls that were on a similar level or better. If that is the case, it also signals to the girl that he must have other aspects of his life in order to have been with these girls in the first place. Your vocabulary and behavior tells everything about your place in society, including your past, and people will judge you for it. Alphas talk and act differently than betas. You can fake Alpha behavior until people eventually treat you as one.

Usually the Alpha/challenge behavior comes naturally and is reinforced throughout your life. This site endorses a 'fake it until you make it' approach (among other things). If you ACT like a challenge to a girl, she will think you are more valuable than you really are. Once you start faking it and eventually making it, the challenge behavior comes naturally because you actually are getting the girls and will naturally set high standards for yourself.

 

[Latinoman]

I believe that in order to achieve certain skills…the man must practice. And if it takes a little faking in the process…so be it. However, he must first KNOW himself and understand himself in order to make the appropriate adjustments. The “faking” might be just practicing while he is taking the steps necessaries to improve himself. As long as he doesn’t go to the extremes and fake on issues that only need minor adjustments, he should be alright. Now, if he fake on issues that need some MAJOR improvements, then that’s a different story.

I don’t believe in the “be yourself” crap. Many men fail miserably in life because they are themselves. There is a place for everything. I don’t behave the same way at work as I do in a nightclub or church. I have to bring a face for each one of the different roles in my life. When I meet with a dignitary from Japan, I must have certain face and act accordingly. When I go to a nightclub, I dress and act accordingly. When I am in a private setting with my woman, I do the same. When I’m in the streets, the same.

However, I know who I am. I am happy with who I am. I know my value as a man. I understand my weaknesses and strengths. And I strongly and vehemently believe that there is no man above me. Therefore, I can be “myself”. Because I know myself and have worked for years to reach nearly the level I want to be.

Note: I am a very challenging individual. A “difficult” man by the words of my current girlfriend and ex-wife. Both women adore me. I wonder why! LOL.

 

[Cod3r]

I don’t believe in the “be yourself” crap. Many men fail miserably in life because they are themselves.

Correction: Because they aren't COMFORTABLE being themselves.

I don’t believe in the “be yourself” crap.

Therefore, I can be “myself”. Because I know myself

Confused ?? LoL, you are complex !!

--
If you have to put on faces wherever you go, I pitty you. Maybe that's your life but plenty of self-aware and assured men out there who don't fake anything and put themselves out there how they really are and people either accept or deny them, ur older but u seem younger than me.


-COd3r

 

[MenAreBetterPeople]

Women are drawn to men being challenges, that is nothing new, but I don't understand why..

A woman will find a great guy only to disregard him once she realizes that she can have him easily. I would think it best if people got together easily but found the challenge in maintaining a good long term relationship.

Why and When did playing games become so important. Why do women find excitement in knowing they are not that important to someone they like when all their time and energy could be used growing with each other spiritually, physically and mentally...

Truly sad and disturbing that it's gotta come down to this...that's why you treat 'em the way they deserve to be treated(like the true scum of the earth that they really are), use 'em, f**k 'em, and then toss 'em to the side when you're ready. Show them no mercy, for they will show you none!

 

[realsmoothie]

Truly sad and disturbing that it's gotta come down to this...that's why you treat 'em the way they deserve to be treated(like the true scum of the earth that they really are), use 'em, f**k 'em, and then toss 'em to the side when you're ready. Show them no mercy, for they will show you none!

It is sad... but I try not to think of it as "using" them. Think of it as helping them understand themselves better, too.

I started semi-dating this one girl recently. She's 23, very shy, and has a few mental issues... depression, anxiety, self-image, that kind of thing. But very smart and VERY open. We have great discussions, and have started to fool around on a very basic level. The thing with her is that she thinks she's more mature than she is. She thinks that games between men and women are silly, that people should just tell each other everything from the get go.

I told her that since I met her a couple of months ago I have been largely gaming her... acting disinterested, being ever-so-slightly c&f (didn't use that term), and so on... and she realized that it had worked like a hot damn. She told me that she did the girl gaming things occasionally and had hated doing it, but now realized that it's just the way people's brains are.

These kinds of girls... the ones who ACT liberated but haven't quite the life experience or maturity to pull it off... actually benefit from having a guy "game" them. The thing is not to do it with a mean frame of mind. Think of it as not doing it just because you can get laid... but as a way of helping the girl out too.

Does that make sense? Or am I just making excuses for my wang's prerogatives?

 

[MenAreBetterPeople]

She told me that she did the girl gaming things occasionally and had hated doing it, but now realized that it's just the way people's brains are.

The way people's brains are?? I've always found it unnatural to play games, not natural.

These kinds of girls... the ones who ACT liberated but haven't quite the life experience or maturity to pull it off... actually benefit from having a guy "game" them. The thing is not to do it with a mean frame of mind. Think of it as not doing it just because you can get laid... but as a way of helping the girl out too.

Does that make sense? Or am I just making excuses for my wang's prerogatives?

I don't think either sex benefits from games. It is not natural. A normal, healthy relationship to me is one that is natural, no games, no bullsh*t. Any relationship that revolves around games, is not a real relationship. I'm all for the "not taking any crap from your woman" and "not being a pvssy and a doormat" in a relationship, but when games come into the picture, the relationship is not genuine, cause both parties are only kidding themselves. A lot on here stress being a challenge and playing all these stupid games, but come on fellas, if these chicks are attracted to you based on all that bullsh*t, it only goes to show you how shallow these women really are....come on, who you kidding? Why would you wanna even be with a chick like that? My last relationship which ended a few months ago was normal. There were no games from the get go. We both knew we wanted each other and were honest about it, and took things to the next level and established a relationship. Everything happened naturally and effortlessly without a struggle. Neither I, nor her made it difficult. I believe when it's game free, and happens naturally and effortlessly, you know you got a good woman on your hands, and you know she's a keeper.

 

[tmpgstx]

If she was keeper, than how come your relationship ended? I think it's important to keep each other challenged, neither of you are taken for granted in that respect. Anyone can take anyone else for granted, it's human nature to be fickle.

 

[blueguy]

Yeah, games are in our human nature and are automatically developed when we experience life and learn respect for ourselves. ie: ignoring/withdrawing from bad behavior, rewarding good behavior, adapting to circumstances/people, demanding respect, etc. They never end. And if they did, people would walk all over you. You'd hand them all your money/time/talent and ask for nothing in return.

 

[MenAreBetterPeople]

If she was keeper, than how come your relationship ended? I think it's important to keep each other challenged, neither of you are taken for granted in that respect. Anyone can take anyone else for granted, it's human nature to be fickle.

How come my relationship ended? Because I f**ked it up. I constantly picked on stupid things and constantly doubted her love for me, which lead to non-stop arguing and her crying. On two occasions, I kid you not, she profusely cried for roughly about a half hour to an hour.

Her reason for breaking up was because all that crap made her fall out of love. She said she warned me over and over that it was affecting the relationship, which is true, she always did say that. I didn't do it intentionally though. All I can say is that during those moments when I doubted her love and picked on stupid things, I truly felt what I felt. I later looked back on all of it and realized I overanalyzed things.

 

[mountain]

I told her that since I met her a couple of months ago I have been largely gaming her... acting disinterested, being ever-so-slightly c&f (didn't use that term), and so on... and she realized that it had worked like a hot damn. She told me that she did the girl gaming things occasionally and had hated doing it, but now realized that it's just the way people's brains are.

Why would you put your cards on the table like this? I definately think you let your emotions override your common sense in this instance. You told her that you are fake. This is not going to work to you favor, I assure you. Girls say all sorts of things... I've personally heard a girl with superb game say "I don't have any game, my game is being myself".

Maybe this girl is different, I wouldn't certainly enjoy that being the case. But it's all too common for a girl to play dumb.

The way people's brains are?? I've always found it unnatural to play games, not natural.

For an alpha, the "games" aren't games at all. Someone who has many options really doesn't care too much about a particular prospect. It will feel like playing a game for someone who doesn't have all the options of a true alpha. As blueguy was saying, its fake it until you make it.

 

[MenAreBetterPeople]

Yeah, games are in our human nature and are automatically developed when we experience life and learn respect for ourselves. ie: ignoring/withdrawing from bad behavior, rewarding good behavior, adapting to circumstances/people, demanding respect, etc. They never end. And if they did, people would walk all over you. You'd hand them all your money/time/talent and ask for nothing in return.

But these aren't games. Ignoring/withdrawing from bad behavior, rewarding good behavior, and demanding respect, are every way a human being should live their life. Acting this way has nothing to do with games. How do games fit into this? Games is when a dude or a chick is d*cking you around, sending mixed messages, and messing with your head.

 

[MenAreBetterPeople]

For an alpha, the "games" aren't games at all. Someone who has many options really doesn't care too much about a particular prospect. It will feel like playing a game for someone who doesn't have all the options of a true alpha. As blueguy was saying, its fake it until you make it.

Relationships and dating should never have to come down to games. Unfortunately though and sadly, much of it is like that. If it ever has to come down to games with a woman, you can bet your a$$ she's a fake piece of sh*t. And the question is, why would you even want a chick like that anyway? Doesn't every guy strive for the woman who is "real". I do agree in being a challenge in the sense that you won't take any of her sh*t and are ready to walk out at any time. But I don't see that challenge(the guy who won't take her sh*t)as playing games.

 

[Bonhomme]

People take for granted that which comes to them too easily.

 

[realsmoothie]

Why would you put your cards on the table like this? I definately think you let your emotions override your common sense in this instance. You told her that you are fake. This is not going to work to you favor, I assure you. Girls say all sorts of things... I've personally heard a girl with superb game say "I don't have any game, my game is being myself".

Maybe this girl is different, I wouldn't certainly enjoy that being the case. But it's all too common for a girl to play dumb.

Um, wait, on the one hand I'm being told not to play games... and then when I tell someone the truth (that I DO play games) I'm told it's "putting my cards on the table". Huh?

Anyhow, it doesn't matter with her. I really don't care if anything more happens with her, she's not a long-term option and is more prone to fooling around with me when we are chatty and friendly anyhow... believe it or not. I brought up the games stuff because I was curious to hear what she thought about it. She's an interesting - very strange - person.