People are boring (for me)

[Gordon Freeman]

Hi everyone,
I don't like talking to people. I'm good at it, but it seems I can't just let it go, I always need to think hard about what will I say, how will I act, etc. This results in me having only 4-5 very close friends. I was rejected during small school, and it does not helps (everybody thinks it was about my stuttering, but I knows it's because I never really liked talking to people). However, I hate to be alone, I would like to have many friends to go out wherever I want. I also want to make my own business later in life, but I need to reach to people for this and I can't be succesful if I don't appreciate it.

I am not afraid to approach men (women is another story), but I just don't like it. How can I stop overthinking when i'm in a social situation and can I begin to like the situations?

Thanks for answers.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Great question.....myself, I tend to feel drained in a lot of social situations.

 

[Gubby]

Have fun. Laugh. Make talking to people one big practical joke. Go out with the express purpose to make a fool of yourself. Alcohol may help.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

What do you expect when you never open your mouth at all and let everyone else do the entirety of the talking, Gordon Freeman?

 

[Gubby]

What do you expect when you never open your mouth at all and let everyone else do the entirety of the talking, Gordon Freeman?

Maybe he's more talkative when the aliens aren't invading

Wait......... the aliens are ALWAYS invading

 

[Warrior74]

if you think other people are boring...your probably boring yourself. stop being afraid. good luck.

 

[Warrior74]

if you think other people are boring...your probably boring yourself. stop being afraid. good luck.

 

[Mavrick]

Just stop thinking. It's pretty simple to stop your mind from being clouded with thoughts. Why are you making it so complicated?

Whatever it is you want to do in your life just tell yourself you're going to do it, and then go do it. Why are most people on this board so damn scared? What is there to be afraid of? If you know who you are, you respect yourself, and like who you are, then you have nothing to prove to anyone, and you'll stop trying to impress them so damn hard.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

Hi, Gorden... I have always had trouble like this... I bet I'll be spot on with how I describe it...

I overthink a lot... I get so nervous and worked up for nothing, and at the same time I become bashful and want to say something, but end up saying nothing, because I figure no one will respond to me anyways. Sometimes I even start talking about something and at the same time I think about another thing then I jam up.. It's frustrating.

I've gotten better though... I just tell myself "what's the big deal?" just go in and say wasssssuuuppppp! relax yourself and when you want to say something, don't just crap out.... just say it, and make people hear you..
I'm at the stage that I am practicing socialy out in public... I use to be so shy.... for instance at the BlockBuster when the girl that works there is like right next to me putting videos on the shelf, I use to run away or whatever to avoid a social confrontation..

Nowadays I flirt somewhat with them....they like that, and I say funny quirky things.. Believe me .. when a girl sees that you are so afraid that you run away... they won't be attracted to you...
I'm getting braver and I try hard not to "think" before I talk(you know what I mean).. I just try to go with what is happening around me..

Example... I walk in the sub shop and girl says Hi, what would you like today?.. I'll say.. "A sub duh" lol..with a smile of course.. and they smile, and say..ohhh trying to be funny eh?..... I'll come back with... "not really, but I could really use a Italian sub , because I am so hungry.."

Sometimes as she is making the sub she'll say "well I haven't seen you here in a while" I'll say.. "well with the price of gas, the extra 2 miles kills me to get here, so I just stop at McDonalds instead.. She'll look up and say "well how come you got here tonight?.. I'll say "I have my sister's car and it has a full tank!..LMAO...

See what I mean, Gorden?.... relax and just be candid.. let it loose and don't stop yourself from saying what you want.. If a girl is talking to you, just smiile, and don't hesitate to laugh, don't worry about a booger hanging, or if your armpits smell... who cares... just laugh about it, relax, and have fun.

I'm tellin ya I was the worst shy guy out there... 5 years ago I was even afraid to go in stores... it was crazy. Now I flirt with girls, and I went on my first date not to long ago.. I have more work to do, but I'm getting there..

Go out, make a fool out of yourself.. who care swhat anyone thinks....you'll get better, but you have to get out and talk with people..
I have my eye on someone that I 'm thinking of asking out..... It's an awesome feeling... going up to a girl and asking if she would like to go out...It's a nice feeling, dude, and you can get there too. You have to push yourself.

 

[Gordon Freeman]

Thanks for the replies,
I am generally talkative and I have a good sense of humour, but I don't get satisfaction from social interactions. Some of you are probably right: I take it way too seriously. This is probably a fear of rejection coming from my young days. I'll try to relax the thinking in the next days, but I think the problem is rooted far into my mind, so perhaps I need to see a good psychologist.
thx!

 

[DonJuan11]

Hi everyone,
I don't like talking to people. I'm good at it, but it seems I can't just let it go, I always need to think hard about what will I say, how will I act, etc. This results in me having only 4-5 very close friends. I was rejected during small school, and it does not helps (everybody thinks it was about my stuttering, but I knows it's because I never really liked talking to people). However, I hate to be alone, I would like to have many friends to go out wherever I want. I also want to make my own business later in life, but I need to reach to people for this and I can't be succesful if I don't appreciate it.

Read alot. Educate yourself. If you know a little about a lot, you will have so much to talk about that they won't be able to walk away.

---------------------------------------------------------

Steve Martin: Be so good she can't ignore you.

 

[Gubby]

Read alot. Educate yourself. If you know a little about a lot, you will have so much to talk about that they won't be able to walk away.

Y'know, I think the skill of being interested in things is more important than knowing. The interest will lead you to know lots anyway. And then you share it in the spirit of interest. If you just ejected bare facts with a dull voice it wouldn't getya anywhere.

 

[slaog]

I think you concentrate too much on the words and not enough on feelings/emotions. When you talk it's not really the words but the feeling emotions behind them. How do you express yourself etc

Heres a good thread to read titled "The Art of Gibberish". : http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=135483

 

[The Motivator]

4-5 close friends is all you need, you should be out talking to girls, you got the friends part covered for now