"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Pedophile

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
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The odds that he was not molested himself as a child are slim to none.

Doesn't castration stop serial pedos? I don't even mean that in a torturous way. I would think that most of them would much prefer that to prison. Hell, if the one thing that turned me on was punishable by 100 years in jail, I'd want my own balls cut off. It would be freedom.

My junior high school had its own Jerry Sandusky. I always wondered why he seemed like he didn't like teaching. It turns out that he was just there to be around kids. He also bought the concession stand at the park where all the kids played in the summer. The boys he liked the most got a job with free candy. Luckily for me, he liked rich kids and my parents were poor. When he finally got caught, he ended up doing less than ten years in jail. His wife, who was his accomplice the entire time, got no punishment at all.

edit: I just looked him up on a sex offender web site. He still lives in the same town that he taught. His neighborhood is next to the high school. I don't want anyone to go murder him or anything, so I won't post his address, but here is his mug shot: http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x252/dotheopposite/tito.jpg
 

Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
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Look up how they tortured and punished criminals in medieval times.
Holy crap. "Breaking on the wheel" would be my pick for these cvnts.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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perseverance said:
I think he should be hanged, drawn and quartered.
you literally took the words right out of my mouth.


I personally believe that child molesters should be eligible for the death penalty
 
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