Paying on dates.

[underwarez]

Whenever I ask a girl out, I feel obligated to pay. For example, when I took the last one to a restaurant, when the bill came I said '...I got this'. How do I get a girl to pay on a date or even pay for me? How do other people get chix to pay?

 

[DJ Alejandro]

don't sweat it.

got the same problem before. dont sweat it too much. first things first, maybe you shouldn't get it too formal when u ask her.

as for me, i 'ask' her by saying im gonna go here so ur welcome to come stuff. or sumthn along the lines of that. that would make me a 'gentleman' by paying cuz I was the one who invited her.

but maybe if you went out like just casual like 'im hungry, are you?' type, maybe that would get her to pay for hers.

remembering another post, it said that maybe you should come a little late and let her wait a bit and then when she buys coffee or sumthn, tell her, "why didn't u buy me one too?" in a smiling way, of course. that worked for me.

just my experiences.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Every girl I date seems to be poor, a student, or expects guys to pay!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know if you guys are upset about the amount you are paying or that women seldom take the initiative to take the check. If it's the former, just don't go to places that are beyond your budget. For the latter, it's normal protocol for the requestor to plan and orchestrate whatever is necessary to complete the date, this includes payment. The objection to this is if the sharing of these things is agreed to when the plans are being made.

For me, I didn't take anyone to a major dinner date until after we were both well beyond the qualification stage and felt that there was some type of mutual commitment. Otherwise, the dates were always casual; coffee, a matinée, comedy of dance club, bicycling, bowling etc. Note that these things are relatively inexpensive and I occasionally preface things by saying, "Let's go to the club, first round is on me."

Now people may feel that a situation like that would be difficult to do in most cases. Remember that I had previously qualified the woman previously and part of that process is determining if she is a giver. Also, I have realized that women who are of a giving nature are very receptive to guys that "share" in the dynamics of the relationship. Sometimes it takes a little coaching like DJ Alejandro's coffee example. I have successfully used the same line.

One last thing, for a woman to be giving does not necessarily mean that she has to have a lot of money. She just needs to make attempts to contribute to the relationship. PL, I understand that students are strapped for cash, that's the norm. However do any of them initiate the date? Do they give you homemade gifts or even cook for you. Things like that are signs of a giver, it isn't how much they spend, it's the thought and effort that goes into it.

Qualifying the woman as soon as possible and not following the standard pattern of the "let's go out to dinner" type dates does work. Step out of the box and do things differently.